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16 ways to prepaire for Ski Season

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by TopOff, Dec 10, 2002.

  1. TopOff

    TopOff 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Folsom, ca
    Ski season is here!

    Hence, the following list of exercises to
    get you prepared:

    16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-
    in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50
    dollar bills to warm up.

    15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after
    every use.

    14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of
    your head before you go to bed each night.

    13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared
    on the lenses.

    12. Send a $100 bill to me-now.

    11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20
    times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory
    bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
    Sporadically drop things.

    10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them
    with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your
    toes.

    9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

    8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.

    7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a
    hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

    6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

    5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's
    in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.

    4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

    3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

    2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.

    1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until
    it's time for the real thing!

    I can HARDLY WAIT!
     
  2. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    Ummmm... so you mean we're NOT supposed to do that?? Like, your joshin us. Oh mannnnnnnnnn. I feel pretty silly now. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

    I usually start that regime in August. Well, except for sending $100 to anyone.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
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    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. greywolf

    greywolf 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    ST.PAUL TX USA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif i miss that stuff!
     

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