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2004 Headlines

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jan 2, 2005.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    [imagine that!]


    Something Went Wrong
    in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    [no, really?]


    Police Begin Campaign
    to Run Down Jaywalkers
    [now that's taking things a bit far!]


    Is There a Ring of Debris
    around Uranus?
    [not if I wipe thoroughly!]


    Panda Mating Fails;
    Veterinarian Takes Over
    [what a guy!]




    Miners Refuse
    to Work
    after Death
    [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]



    Juvenile Court to
    Try Shooting Defendant
    [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]


    War Dims Hope
    for Peace
    [I can see where it might have that effect!]


    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
    It May Last Awhile
    [you think?!]


    Cold Wave Linked
    to Temperatures
    [who would have thought!]


    Enfield (London) Couple
    Slain; Police
    Suspect Homicide
    [they may be on to something!]



    Red Tape Holds
    Up New Bridges
    [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]



    Man Struck By Lightning
    Faces Battery Charge
    [he probably IS the battery charge!]



    New Study of Obesity
    Looks for Larger
    Test Group
    [weren't they fat enough?!]



    Astronaut Takes
    Blame for Gas
    in Spacecraft
    [That what he gets for eating those beans!]



    Kids Make
    Nutritious
    Snacks
    [Taste like chicken!]



    Chef Throws His Heart
    into Helping Feed Needy
    [That was really giving of himself!]



    Local High School
    Dropouts Cut in Half
    [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]



    Hospitals are Sued
    by 7 Foot Doctors
    [Boy, are they tall!]



    And the winner is....



    Typhoon Rips Through
    Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    [nuff said!]
     
  2. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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  3. big83chevy4x4

    big83chevy4x4 3/4 ton status

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  4. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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  5. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    So, were these actual headlines, or are they from something like The Onion?
     

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