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21 Steps to Becoming a good Democrat

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by DPI, Oct 26, 2004.

  1. DPI

    DPI 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2000
    Posts:
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    Location:
    In the Burbs close to Tulsa, OK
    Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit
    thinking (about it) and vote that way. If you want to
    be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites
    you must have first. Compare them below and see how you rate...

    1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by
    a lack of Federal funding.

    2. You have to believe that the same school
    system that can't teach 4th graders how to
    read is somehow the best qualified to teach
    those same kids all about sex.

    3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of
    law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than
    U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of
    Chinese communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before
    Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures
    are less affected by cyclical, documented changes
    in the earth's climate, and more affected by
    Americans driving SUVs'!

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial
    but being homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to be against capital punishment but
    support abortion on demand.

    8. You have to believe that businesses create
    oppression and governments create prosperity.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care
    about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more
    important than actually doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe the U.S. military, not evil,
    tyrannical regimes, start wars.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because
    it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while
    the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts
    of the constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but
    ATM fees are too high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger
    and Gloria Steinem are more important to American
    history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
    or Thomas Edison.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are
    racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

    16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about
    "progress" and not power. She just wants to help
    us out of the archaic system of governing that
    we've been subjected to since our founding.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason
    socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried,
    is because the right people haven't been in charge.

    18. You have to believe Republicans telling the
    truth belong in jail, but a cheat, liar and sex
    offender belongs in the White House and you
    would vote him back in there in a New York
    minute (if you could).

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
    displaying drag, transvestites and beastiality should
    be constitutionally protected and manger scenes
    at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party
    funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best
    interest of the United States.

    21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities
    who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in
    school, the 10 commandments in court, have far more
    rights than the majority who believe in God and country
    and want these values to be instilled in our young hildren.

    If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs
    -- you're gonna be a big asset to John Kerry
     
  2. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2002
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    5,353
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    Location:
    Anderson, Indiana
    Damn, why don't I have a printer? /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif Off to the library to print this out and take it to school.
     

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