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A few jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 19, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
    Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one
    looked at the other and said:

    "Now don't get mad at me.... I know we've been friends for a long time...but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and
    thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

    Her friend glared at her. For several minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said, " How soon do you need to
    know?"

    _______________________________________
    Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language. Mute #1
    (SIGN) "What would you like to do?" Mute #2 (SIGN) "I don't know, what about you?" Mute #1 (SIGN) "Let's get my car, find
    some girls, drive to a dark space and have some fun." Mute #2 (SIGN) "Good idea." So they get his car, find some girls, drive to a
    dark spot and are having a ball when the guy in the back seat taps the guy in the front seat on the shoulder... Front Seat Mute
    (SIGN) "What?" Back Seat Mute (SIGN) "Have you got any protection?" Front Seat Mute (SIGN) "No. Don't you?" Back Seat
    Mute (SIGN) "No. We had better go to a drug store and get some." They procede to drive to a drug store and the man in the back
    seat gets out and goes inside. In two minutes he is back outside and taps on the car window. Inside Mute (SIGN) "What?"
    Outside Mute (SIGN) "I've got a problem." Inside Mute (SIGN) "What?" Outside Mute (SIGN) "I can't make the druggist
    understand what I want."Inside Mute (SIGN) "I know What to do." Outside Mute (SIGN) "What?" Inside Mute (SIGN) "Go back
    inside. Put five dollars on the counter. Put your pecker on the counter. He'll know what you want." Outside Mute (SIGN) "Good
    idea." The man goes back into the drug store and two minutes later he's back at the car window. Inside Mute (SIGN) "Well?"
    Outside Mute (SIGN) "It didn't work." Inside Mute (SIGN) "What do you mean?"Outside Mute (SIGN) "I did what you told me to
    do. I went inside. I put 5 dollars on the counter. I put my pecker on the counter. He put his on the counter. It was bigger than
    mine. He took my 5 dollars."
     

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