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A letter from a redneck mom

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 13, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Location:
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    Dear Son:
    I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast.
    We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen
    within twenty miles of home, so we moved.Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas
    family that lived here took the numbers with 'em for their house, so they wouldn't have to change
    their address.
    This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in
    it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
    It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
    The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail
    with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
    We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's
    funeral bill, up she comes.
    About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so
    don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
    Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off
    playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days.
    Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the
    back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safely. The other 2 drowned. They
    couldn't get the tail gate down.
    Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me
    know and I will send another one.
    Love, Mom

    PS I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.
     
  2. rockink5

    rockink5 1/2 ton status

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    How did you get that letter? That was supposed to be private. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     
  3. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=blue> He burned for 3 days ! Hahahahahahaha !
     
  4. hammer

    hammer 1/2 ton status

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    LMFAO that was good
     
  5. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    Pad /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     

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