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A MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 88Silverado, Jul 14, 2003.

  1. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

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    A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    A MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?

    It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from
    testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is
    typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and
    nagging we have to endure) Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

    2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the
    testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women
    do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly
    certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look
    and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to
    burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

    3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much
    like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

    4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

    We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by
    a few simple (and well chosen) words.

    5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?

    You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you opened it you
    got into trouble with your partner.

    6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

    Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the
    old-fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world
    nowadays.

    7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

    Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and
    women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea
    how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred,
    disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I
    get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

    8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?

    Please... How many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as
    much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours
    on end? We men... Men hunters... Need to go roam... Starve in cave... Must go
    find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a
    whole other story.

    9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

    Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that
    enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In
    prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended
    periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were
    able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this
    ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber-
    toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this
    innate ability.

    10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"

    Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we
    love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a
    character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

    11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

    Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to
    get lip action. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

    12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your
    questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like
    the answer we are prepared to give you, we simply remain quiet and save the energy
    for other things.

    13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?

    Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn
    well you'll pick it up.

    14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?

    This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you
    know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of
    affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach
    cramps.

    15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out,
    kill it, and bring it back. Who (besides a woman) wants to spend hours
    and hours to look at or gather things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?
     
  2. sapper

    sapper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    hell yeah !!!!!!!


    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. KRAZIE87K5

    KRAZIE87K5 1/2 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    Copied and emailed that to the wife! Lets see if it helps...

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    -Dan
     
  6. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. cegusman

    cegusman 3/4 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    [ QUOTE ]
    Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach
    cramps.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    I hate that! /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif The things I do for love! [​IMG]
     
  9. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    [ QUOTE ]
    3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much
    like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.


    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif


    [ QUOTE ]
    2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the
    testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women
    do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly
    certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look
    and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to
    burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] That is too funny /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
     
  11. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: A MAN\'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    [​IMG]
     

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