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A Rare Opportunity For The Brief Control Of My Actions

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Resurrection_Joe, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Ok, I am offering my close personal CK5 buddies the opportunity to have me record myself saying ANYTHING they want and posting it. Full dramatics are included.

    Please fill out this form if interested:

    Why I Think I Am RJ's Friend: ______________

    What I Want RJ To Say:_______________

    Now, I love you all, but some of you have an extra special place in my heart. So, the people who post and are justified (and have thought of something funny for me to say) get it for being extra uber speciale'


    *EDIT*


    WINNERS: (YOU'RE ALL WINNERS!)



    001:

    "You know, if you had fired the damn gun, little pink bunnies might not be taking over the world. I blame you, just so we're clear on this."

    TSGB





    002:

    It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?

    SURPIP





    003:

    I want to comb my fingers through Can-Can's soft beaver oiled hair whilst fondling his toolbox.

    JIMINYCRICKET





    004:

    "The Bridges of Madison County have been overrun by a horde of lesbian vikings, who have massacred dozens of small animals and four illegal immigrants from Latvia. Local law enforcement officials were unavailable for comment. I'm Resurrection Joe, reporting to you live from the scene for RJTV. We'll return with further information as we receive it"

    FIREFIGHTER184





    005:

    Guns...you can never have to many guns...and Tailgates are the best, Drey was always right


    DREY






    006:

    Mr Brown: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular **** machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
    Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
    Mr. White: A lot.
    Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes mother****er and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat ****s her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a **** machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a virgin."


    GJK5





    007:

    What I want RJ to say: i love it when you call me big pop-pa
    Throw your hands in the air, if youse a tru playa
    To the honies gettin money playin n****s like dummies
    If you gun up in your waist, don't shoot up the place
    Cause i see some ladies tonite who should be havin my ba-by,
    Baybee, uh


    BIGBLAZE433






    008:

    RJ: (knock on door) Dude, I'm glad your up. I totally f*cked up. Remember that girl I was telling you about, turns out she was f*cking Canadian. We were parked out at the Quarry and she was all like "eh?". I freaked and hit her 147 times.

    With my car.

    What? don't look at me like that. Don't you f*cking judge me!

    Look, I'll get out of here in just a sec, I just need to know if you still got that woodchipper.

    DON"T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!

    (noises of something mechanical being moved around)

    Thanks man. I totallty owe you. One more thing, last year when your Grandma died, did you happen to notice if they locked her casket?


    MIDNITEWARYA






    009:

    Doug McKenzie: I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.

    Bob MKEnzie: He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.

    Doug McKenzie: The power of the force has stopped you, you hosers.


    CAN CAN BY WAY OF GJKJ






    010

    Dixie


    78suburban






    011

    Dixie (Acapella)


    78suburban





    012:

    V: I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. And right now I'm a race car and you got me in the red. I'm just saying that it's ****in' dangerous to have a racecar in the ****in' red. It could blow.
    J: Oh, you're gettin' ready to blow?
    V: I could blow.
    J: Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' mother****er, mother****er! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm SUPERFLY T.N.T, I'm the GUNS OF THE NAVARONE. In fact, what the **** am I doin' in the back? You're the mother****er should be on brain detail. We're ****in' switchin' right now. I'm washin' the windows and you're pickin' up this ******'s skull.


    MOSES BURB





    013:

    We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole multi colored collection of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

    (added BAT COUNTRY !!!)


    SANDAWGK5





    014:

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For so long as one hundred men remain alive,
    [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]we shall never under any conditions submit to the
    [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]domination of the English. It is not for glory or riches
    [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]or honours that we fight, but only for liberty, which
    [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]no good man will consent to lose but with his life. [/FONT]


    SANDAWG K5





    _
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2006
  2. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Focking double post.
     
  3. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Why I Think I Am RJ's Friend: Because he's drawn me a couple really cool pictures, and admires boobies Not to mention the fact that if I win the lotto, he's going to Canuckistan with me.



    What I Want RJ To Say: "You know, if you had fired the damn gun, little pink bunnies might not be taking over the world. I blame you, just so we're clear on this."
     
  4. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    That made my night, and you sound nothing like I thought!



    I heart you.



    **** that.


    I LOVE YOU MAN!!!
     
  5. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    What did you think I sounded like?
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Deeper, and a little less nasal. You aren't actually nasal, but I don't know what other descriptors would work.
     
  7. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Kkkkkkkkk..........
     
  8. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    Why I Think I Am RJ's Friend: _RJ brings the coolness and brings peace and order to all the land while he is still able to make the greatest of all pattymelts_____________



    What I Want RJ To Say:___It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?


    *different voice*_Fix the cigarette lighter___________
     
  9. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Why I Think I Am RJ's Friend: Because I like pattymelts and Amish headcases.



    What I Want RJ To Say: I want to comb my fingers through Can-Can's soft beaver oiled hair whilst fondling his toolbox.
     
  10. NEK5

    NEK5 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    no pun intended, but you sound like you`re 13:D
     
  11. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Why I think I'm RJ's friend: Aren't all those who are loyal to the pattymelt friends?

    What I want RJ to say: "The Bridges of Madison County have been overrun by a horde of lesbian vikings, who have massacred dozens of small animals and four illegal immigrants from Latvia. Local law enforcement officials were unavailable for comment. I'm Resurrection Joe, reporting to you live from the scene for RJTV. We'll return with further information as we receive it"
     
  12. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    First four are in the top post.

    I either want to say something horrible vicious, inane, silly, or multiparted next.
     
  13. MTChevy

    MTChevy 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    #3 :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: thanks for the laugh RJ, this is great!
     
  14. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    WTF, I get an "unrecognized file format" error.

    Why can't I open these?
     
  15. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    They're encoded in a wierd MP3 type format. Winamp will not play them, but Windows Media Player and Quicktime will.
     
  16. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Dammit, this friggin "roxio" cd burning software is trying to open them.



    OK, had to download and save and then designate media player as the "open with".



    Pretty damn funny.
     
  17. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    I think I am RJs friend because I was included in one of the last EAOAs(bet you newbs dont have a clue what they were), he also showed me the glorious path from ORC to CK5


    What RJ should say: Guns...you can never have to many guns...and Tailgates are the best, Drey was always right
     
  18. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Why I think I'm RJ's friend: Love the stories, love the art, love the pattymelts, love the sardonic voice of reason he brings. (oh, and love the occasional psycho/Pyle pics). Pretty sure he's ambivalent about me, but that's the story of my life.



    What I want RJ to say:

    Mr Brown: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular **** machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
    Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
    Mr. White: A lot.
    Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes mother****er and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat ****s her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a **** machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a virgin."


    Just a silly segment from one of my favorite flics.

    Is that kinda what you meant by "multiparted"??
     
  19. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Resevoir Dogs FOR THE WIN!
     
  20. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Someone scoop up the last one and I'll do Drey's GJK's and whoevers in a batch
     

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