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a serious ? involving kids..

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by boggerless, Jun 27, 2006.

  1. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    if you and your spouse ended up on the wrong side of the sod,who would you like to have raise your kids?relatives,friends?what scares you about some of your choices?my choice would be my cousin TERRY would be my main pic. he is a great guy, loves and acts like a kid.has three kids and he is more like my brother than a cousin.my other choice is my best frien MIKE. the copper:laugh: ,cuz i know him heart and soul, and his son is one year younger than my son AUDRIC.plus he seriously has his finnancial s**t together.he owns his house,his heratige soft tail, a mint 75 caddy, a 65 GTO, 2 jet skis, 2 snowmobiles,a quad, a cr 250,ETC. man he makes me jealous,OH not to mention his trucks.:rolleyes: :laugh: bastard:haha: :haha: so who would you want your kids spending the rest of their lives with??
     
  2. GotLabs

    GotLabs 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Strangley enough, my wife and I have talked about this extensively. We decided that a "friend" is going to be our godparent. Both of our families are loopy, the couple that we consider "normal" with the same values are educated/common sensed/wealthy. They can provide a comfortable life for out child, and our will states that all money for our kiddo goes to them.

    Before any sas gets started, we trust the couple I am referring to. So that makes a difference.
     
  3. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    its a good thing to know isn't it?its sorta scary but things happen and better to be prepared.and trust is the main thing, not just some drinking buddy. you need to trust them with your flesh and blood.sounds like you and the wife are smart peeps. be prepared .:bow:
     
  4. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Interesting question Daryl.. Lisa and I don't have kids, but we have some close friends who have a daughter.. they asked us to take care of her if they both died, 'cause their immediate families are all nuts & suck at raising their own kids.. well, before we finalized anything, the daughter's aunt raised a stink about how the kid needed to stay with family, so they nominated the aunt to be guardian pretty much out of guilt..

    So, if the worst happens, the kid will be stuck being raised by two complete morons, and our friends know it..

    Moral of the story to the parents out there: pick who you trust, not who is good at manipulating you..

    Tom
     
  5. Russell

    Russell LB7 Tahoe Status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    My parents originally planned for us to go to my Uncle's place. I'm not entirely sure how well that would have worked out though. We get along very well for relatively short periods of time, but they are far more conservative than our family it, and we may have rubbed eachother the wrong way more often than not lol

    However, we are all older than 18 less my sister, so now we'd inherit everything my parents have (they put it in their will so my mother's sister wouldn't try anything funny, father's side wouldn't do that) and live on our own out here.

    Not a nice thing to be thinking about though. It'd be devastating to loose either of my parents :(
     
  6. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    My wifes parents, My parents or my sister/brother-in-law. Either would do great, which is a comfort.
     
  7. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    Its a tough thing to decide. make sure you check to see the person you want is okay with it as well. My wife and I chose an aunt and uncle of mine as first choice, but we felt we needed a back up because we often travel together. That is one of the problems, spending enough time with someone to know them well enough to put your children's lives' in their hands means you could all go at the same time. My mom and her husband are the second choice.

    And get it all in writing.
     
  8. BoondocK5

    BoondocK5 1 ton status Author

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    My wifes parents, if that doesn't work then my best friend of 36 years.
     
  9. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

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    I second the "get everything in writing". You may know who you want to raise your kids, but the laws are different in each state, so make sure you do some kind of living will so that your wishes are known to everyone.

    I don't have kids, but last year I had some pretty scary surgery and made out a power of attorney and a will. One of the stipulations was that my dogs NOT be given to my brother. I'd rather see them go to the pound then end up at his house with his wife and 3 monsters... how sad is that?:(
     
  10. rdn2blazer

    rdn2blazer 1 ton status Premium Member

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    OH MAN! this has been a subject I have thought about ever since my son was born. heres the thing, I am the youngest in my family. my brother is 4 yrs older and has no kids and it looks like he never will. he is married for I think 12 yrs now and they have tried for years but cant. I think that devine intervention cuz his wife is a c**t. she IS jelous of my woman and I have a child so easy, I know my brother is too.

    I would NOT want by brother raising my son. I love him but NO WAY!. he's not pysically abusive to his wife but verbally, lets just say she is a mouse and is his wipping post. its allmost like he might as well kick the crap out of her from time to time since he is as mean as he is to her. I dont like her anyways though so I dont really care.

    my son WILL NOT treat a woman like that. my next sibling is my sister who is a drunk and is a psyco. she is 8 yrs older them me and has never had kids. so she's out period.

    my next oldest sibling sister who is like 54 yrs old is a huge fat obese cow that is as psyco as my other sis. obvious no way.

    I have three other sisters from my dads first marrage who are much older, youngest being allmost 50. I have never been close to them in my life. have not spoke to them in years.

    so this leaves my friends. only two would I ever consider. both have great families and are great dudes who love my son. one is the better choice as far as he is more like me then the other. he likes dirt bike riding, jet skiing, camping, offroading, going on house boat trips, stuff like that. they are both what I would consider very successful. my bud that is my first choice has 2 daughters and wants a son but his wife is done with 2 so I can see him being kinda cool with that.

    but.... how do you ask a person that kind of thing? my bud is allready god parents to 2 others friends kids cause everybody that knows him and his family likes and loves them immencelly cause there good people. so I just dont know how to ask him something like that. it kills me to think about when my woman and I are gone my son wont have anybody to call family. there probably wont be anyone left since we are the youngest. I was the last of the Nickolson name but now my son is. I hope he has a family and kids at a kinda young age so he has a family to call his own when we are gone.

    now I bummed out thinking about this :(
     
  11. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    My wife and I have discussed this at length and it's a tough one.

    After we had our 1st daughter we decided to make a friend of ours her Godfather, he has been a friend for 20+ years and at the time was getting married and generally becomeing a responsible adult and loves our daughter to death, and it doesn't hurt that he is very well off so he could provide for her. Fast forward two years later and his wife is pregnant and he is acting like an irresponsible 18 year old assjack (he's also 35) and can't even act right for his own family.:mad: I'm worried enough for his soon to be son that I would not even consider him taking my daughters.

    Most of the rest of our friends are sadly either not responsible enough (which is fine for a single person) or kinda dumbasses to begin with. We are the godparents to another friends two sons and they are some of the worst damn parents I've ever seen, so needless to say they are out. Most of our other friends who have kids we absolutely do not see eye to eye with on childrearing, politics etc.

    My wife's Mom is a sweet and loveable loopty-loop but I just don't think she's capable, plus the last thing her Dad wants is permanent grandkid visitation.

    My Mom is single and would probably be a pretty good candidate, but I just don't know and there are some potential health issues.

    My sister is definitely out, I love her but she's not very responsible with her own son and has never been even close to financially stable, plus she's alittle bit of a nut. (pretty scary that she teaches elementary school IMO):(

    This leaves one of our best friends that lives in Denver, he comes out to visit the girls every month or two, is extremely responsible (to a fault), financially stable, physically fit, has similar values to ours and sees the world in much the same way we do. I guess his only drawbacks are that he is single, and lives a very single lifestyle.(lots of one-nighters and dating girls off the internet)

    Long story short is that we do not have a clear decision yet, but decided that we needed to when our 2nd daughter was born 2 months ago, so we hope to come to a decision soon.
     
  12. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Damn good question, and it's something EVERY parent needs to be thinking long & hard about. You just never know when someone in the oncoming lane is gonna doze off or stroke out, and send you to that final sunset...

    We don't have kids yet, so we haven't thought too much about it. But I have a feeling it would be a "coin-toss" between my Mom & stepdad, and her Dad & stepmom. Both have their own set of minor faults, but hey... don't we all?
     
  13. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i hear ya. the peeps you pick go down in the same plane.:eek1: NOW WHAT????
     
  14. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    THAT IS GREAT ADVISE!!!! try and talk more to your friends TOM.can you show them this post and the great replies?
     
  15. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    YOU are the kind of person my kids would go to. :bow: you love your dogs so much that a family member would not even get them.i'm the same way with my brothers and DAD.they will NEVER watch my pups when we are gone.:rolleyes:
     
  16. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    sorry bro,i didn't mean to bum you out.if your bud is already o godparent potential i'm sure he won't mind one more. what are the chances that they will get all the kids from every family??:laugh: and we are in the same boat, OOOLLLLDDDD relatives.i was 35 when AUDRIC was born.he does have an older brother DUSTIN who is 18 now.my wifes son before we were married. he loves his little bro,but he is starting college and i don't want him getting messed up in that.i remember when my wife and i were married and she told her aunt that she would be the god parent.the wifey was excited, anyway i thought "yeah, right. shes 74 and can barely yell out loud. how is she gonna correct MY son?":rotfl:
     
  17. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    that is the truth!we all suck some how to someone. we question someone elses parenting, but think ours is good.but somehow their kids manage.the paranoia i get about it sometimes is great,but i think about the same thing you just wrote. who is good enough???:confused:
     
  18. Uncle Fester

    Uncle Fester 1/2 ton status

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    My wife and I have talked about this alot, due to the fact two of our kids are mildly handicapped, and due to that, hard to deal with at times...
    We deceided to go with a VERY trusted friend of ours who has been in the kids lives sence day one..he was even there for the birth of the first two..
    The reason we did this was, one our families don't get along real well..they don't fight, but don't get along either...the other reason is that her parents are hardly ever around the kids now, and don't hardly know them...they are trying to open a outfitter business and always busy with that.
    The other reason is we don't want the families to feel we chose this sister/brother over the other because ____________ (fill in the blank).
    One thing..when we made the anouncement about this, her family blew a gasket over it saying they would fight us in court if needed. So just incase, get a will drawn up ASAP.
     
  19. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    that makes me mad that moms and dads can raise a child but when you make a descision about the childs future all the sudden you need help with that idea!!they are not around during day to day things, but a major life change and here comes the opinons.:angry1: stick with your gut instict i say.we know who loves our kids.
     

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