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Abbott and Costello

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chevit, Sep 18, 2004.

  1. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Those of us old enough to remember Abbott and Costello or have ever seen their "Who's on First"
    routine should appreciate this. A new take on Abbott and Costello.

    Costello wants to buy a Computer from Abbott.
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and
    my business. What have you got?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer
    and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK forget
    that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me I
    need!
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great, with what?
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1."
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?
    ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"
    ABBOTT: No, just one. But its the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?
    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even Part of Office.
    COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping- you have anything I can
    track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
    COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (LATER)
    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
     
  2. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    Nice!!! Someone got all kinds of creative n stuff. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. mtn. burb

    mtn. burb 1/2 ton status

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    I love Abott and Costello. I grew up watching their movies, and from time to time I rent one for the kids to watch with me. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

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    I love it!! I kinda miss the ole days of watching those guys on Sunday with my dad /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  5. txfiremank5

    txfiremank5 1/2 ton status

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    Yeah, I could go for a good ol' A&C movie. That used to be a weekend ritual when I was a kid. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    AH! back when comedy was just that, comedy! not all the inuendo's and cursing making it impossible for my kids to enjoy with me /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     

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