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Actual Air Force Maintenance Complaints

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 2, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air
    Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
    "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for
    maintenance crews.

    Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
    Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

    Problem: "Test flight OK, except auto land very rough."
    Solution: "Auto land not installed on this aircraft."

    Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
    Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
    Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

    Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
    Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

    Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
    Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

    Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
    Solution: "Evidence removed."

    Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
    Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

    Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
    Solution: "Live bugs on order."

    Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
    Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

    Problem: "IFF inoperative."
    Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

    Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
    Solution: "That's what they're there for."

    Problem: "Number three engine missing."
    Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Feb 24, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Already posted , but still too damn funny....

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