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Aim chat.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    I saw this on another site I frequent :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:


    bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
    bloodninja: What like gardening an sh!t?
    Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
    bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
    bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    Katie_007: is that it?
    bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
    bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
    Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this sh!t is HOTT.
    Katie_007: ...
    bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    Katie_007: What the fu(k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
    Katie_007: whatever.
     
  2. MNorby

    MNorby 3/4 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Location:
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  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Found another one that was posted, just as bad.... :eek1: :eek1: :eek1: :eek1:


    bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate: Who are you?
    bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
    bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
    bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
    bloodninja: How did you know?
    bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate: What the fu(k?
    DirtyKate: You perverted piece of sh!t
    DirtyKate: Fu(k
     
  4. 54inches

    54inches 1/2 ton status

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    that is some funny madlibs......
     
  5. MTMike

    MTMike 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Billings, Montana
    :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

    The original classic: Saved to my hard drive 1/15/1998

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect.
    My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I
    just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner
    ... it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser
    and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and
    begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge
    faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling,
    as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my
    body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets,
    looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait,
    it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now,
    blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know ... thing... in your ... you know ... woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?!

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's
    wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans
    of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is
    on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

    Sweetheart: <logged off>
     
  6. 54inches

    54inches 1/2 ton status

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    that is great...
     

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