Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Skigirl, Apr 18, 2002.

  1. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Posts:
    2,563
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions:

    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal accident.


    P [in list below means] - The problem logged by the pilot.
    S [in the list below means] - The solution and action taken by the engineers

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on backorder.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
    S: That's what they're there for!

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  3. StoneyK5

    StoneyK5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2001
    Posts:
    472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birch Bay, Wa.
    /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif !!!!!!
     
  4. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2000
    Posts:
    6,026
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    <font color=blue> this one's my favorite ......P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
    S: Evidence removed.
     
  5. Overkill

    Overkill 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2002
    Posts:
    284
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orlando, Florida
    ROFLMFAO!!!
     
  6. sluggo45acp

    sluggo45acp 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2001
    Posts:
    472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern fortress, Republic of Texas
    LMAO.
    One of my favorite sign offs is POD (pilot on drugs)
     
  7. potato76

    potato76 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2002
    Posts:
    922
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    phoenix, AZ
    P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.


    this is a good one
     
  8. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!! next time say it's a joke in the subject line.To think I've missed this for a couple days. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gifThat was funny...
     
  9. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Posts:
    2,563
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    Will do./forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     

Share This Page