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alright guys, i need some help

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by beater_k20, Dec 5, 2006.

  1. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    i screwed up pretty bad.

    as some of you may remember, i dated my sister's 18 year old best friend for a while. things were great, she's interested in the same things i am interested in. in fact, the first time i met her about a little over 2 years ago, she was staying the night with my sister, i went downstairs to clean up a bit after hauling my buddy's Firebird to his new apartment. i noticed she was rather attractive. i made mention of hauling the car to my sister, and Amber immediately questioned what year Firebird, also stating that she loved pre-82 Firebirds. i told her a little about it, then she sat up (previously laying on the couch, covered in a blanket watching a movie), and the blanked fell off of her revealing a Dale Earnhardt tshirt, another little plus for her. the follwing morning i asked my sister about her. i found out at that point that she was 17. she turned 18 in February, and graduated high school in June. shortly after is when i started seeing her. things went great, and frankly, i couldnt find anything i didnt like about her.

    things progressed a little more, and never having had a long relationship before, looking back, i got scared. prior to this, the longest relationship i had had was under 4 months. the thought of commiting myself to one person for a long period of time scared the hell out of me. i took little things that she said, and turned them around into things i "didnt like" about her, when in fact i couldnt find any fault with her. we saw each other on occasion after i started pulling that crap, and there was talk of friends with benefits, although that never happened.

    i didnt really put to much thought into it until about a month ago. i started seeing a girl from work. appearance wise, she was definitely not my type. this girl flat out told me, "i am the princess, its going to be my way." that relationship lasted about a week. then in conversation with one of my friends, he asked me what the hell i was doing. i thought about it for a couple of days, and realized what i had done. i now realized how great what i had was, and i knew that she was happy when we were together. so i tried began to talk to her, telling her how much i miss her. then that lead to talks of getting back together.

    i went Friday night to the bowling alley, looking for a couple of buddies. i happened to see her with this guy, i was hurt, and jealous all at the same time. so i approached her, and asked her if i could talk to her. old boy had to open his mouth, so i made a scene. fortunately, i had enough control, no punches were thrown. but, i left shortly thereafter, tail between my legs. i talked to her a couple days ago and she told me that i mean more to her than i'll ever know. that feeling is mutual, i'd give anything for this girl. but, she says that i'm going to have to regain that trust, and that all she wants right now is friendship. meanwhile, i'm stressing over regaining that trust. i havent slept right since Friday, and i havent hardly eaten anything.

    anybody got any ideas of simple little things i can do to rebuild that trust? maybe even stuff she wont realize i'm doing? its killing me going through all this right now, and i have no idea what to do about it, other than wait. i just wish that i would've realized what i was doing 3 months ago, i'd be in a whole different world right now. fortunately i realized what i was doing before it was the big "too late" and she's getting married or something. :doah:

    come on guys, help a brother out.
     
  2. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Thank you Captain Obvious.................:haha:
     
  3. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    thanks, rub some more salt in the wound. its great to know the brotherhood cares. :(
     
  4. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    After your douchbag esqe remark about Colby and his wife the other day, don't be surprised if everyone is not willing to jump up and help you out
     
  5. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Locate the "SHIFT" key on your keyboard.

    Stay off of MySpace.

    Now that I'm done trashing your thread, I actually have some serious stuff to say..........................

    She's 18. Doesn't matter if she's an Earnhardt fan or not. More than likely, she ain't all there.

    If you want to pursue this further though, quit being such a walking vaginal cavity and listen up. You have to tiptoe through the tulips and plan each step out very carefully. Numero Uno tactic you have to use is don't be pushy. You will piss her off. Unless of course she's drunk (minor, that ain't good) and you bang her like a screen door, put the video up on YouTube and she likes the attention and heads off to California.

    Get her on neutral ground. Talk things over and afterwards, let things progress in their own, natural way. Call her up every few days, once a week, shoot the **** about life, maybe set something up, neutral ground again and just go with the flow.

    Other than that, she's 18 and I can see you a "SHIFT" key if need be..............
     
  6. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    If this were me. I would just let my pride go by the way side if you truely feel something for her. And be honest. Tell her you were affraid, because you up to that point never had a long term relationship. And had no idea what you were thinking. Tell her how much she really means to you and that you would be willing (within reason) to appologize and make it up to her some how some way if she will have you back. Most girls love an honest guy. But don't take it over board and start feeding into your own bs just to get her back.

    It called game my friend. You either have it or you don't.

    Keep us informed as this might get interesting.
     
  7. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    Dang Bubba i was not aware you had a sensitive side. :D
     
  8. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

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    Well, he did use paragraphs :D.
     
  9. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    There are no substitutions....................................
     
  10. 79k20350

    79k20350 3/4 ton status

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    If you truly mean that mush to her she will coem around... You shouldnt do anything more then you would normally do. Write her a letter, something that would mean alot...

    I wish ya the best man. My grilfriend left me a month and a half ago and its still killing me:( So if you really mean that much to her, and she really means that much to you, im sure you guys will find a way to make it work.

    Feel free to im me anytime if ya wanna talk
     
  11. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you know what to do bro.
     
  12. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    thanks for the talk Daryl. :waytogo: sounds like it may have done both of us some good, i know i'm feeling alot better about the situation. still numb, but not nearly as bad.

    i can see that if i really mean that much to her, she'll forgive me, its just that the uncertainty in the mean time is really hard.
     
  13. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    THAT was sensitive???:haha: :haha: cyber tazer.
     
  14. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i feel better, and like i said i'm in the same boat with ya Jeremy.
     
  15. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Maybe try writing a letter to her. Some people can say things better on paper than in person, and I mean a real letter not an e-mail.
     
  16. 79k20350

    79k20350 3/4 ton status

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    This is definetly the way to go. Something hand written too. It will show you put more time and effort into it...
     
  17. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Take yer time..............don't rush............don't push........:wink1:
     
  18. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    write the letter, take it to a flower shop and send her some flowers, a good thing would be to ask your sister to find out what her favorite flowers are, and do it, but for the love of jehova, dont write "i know these are your favorites" in the letter... little steps to leaps and bounds my friend
     
  19. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    :haha: so you screwed up huh? man the way you've pasted a couple people on here, I say tough sh!!. Suck it up, pull up your panties, dry your eyes. etc. etc.etc.:haha: :haha: :haha:















































































    OK seriously now. Do you want her back because you dont have her, or because you really feel in your heart for her? Be true to yourself, and answer that first. Then do you get along well, or fight about trivial stuff that don't matter the next day, or other juvenile crap? Then seeing as how you've been apart for a while, ask yourself if your thinking about her in good ways throughout the day. And leave the sex part out of it. It'll only cloud your mind about your feelings. I know somebody's going to accuse you of being a Puss, but if you feel that strongly about her after answering these questions, and she is willing to give you that chance, then be honest with her, and confess your stupidity, and ask for another chance to earn her trust. If she has treated you well, and she respects you, and VICE VERSA, then you have something special. Then when you humiliate yourself enough to open yourself up to love, see if you still feel the same way about her. There should be no resentment from either one of you about what has happened, and you should be able to put it behind you, and grow from there.


    That all being said, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
     
  20. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    i honestly do have feelings for her, and did before i found out about the other guy. yes, there is some jealousy there, because i know that he has what should be mine, but i screwed that up for myself. that i understand fully. i have never had an argument with her, we always managed to compromise very well, and both were happy. i think about her constantly, and "leaving the sex part out" isnt an issue, since there was only one occasion where anything sexual occurred.

    with that said, i have already admitted my stupidity to her, and asked for a chance to regain that trust. i also understand that its going to take time to do so. i hurt her pretty bad, and she did nothing to warrant that. i on the other hand, freaked out about something that was totally foreign to me. totally my fault.
     

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