Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Beast388, Sep 15, 2004.

  1. Beast388

    Beast388 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2001
    Posts:
    3,039
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Clinton, IA USA
    I received this via e-mail. Let's hope it stays fictional. /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif

    AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS

    May 23, 2005

    WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides
    new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act
    (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage,
    is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans
    who lack any real skills or ambition.

    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
    necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
    Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.

    "This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow
    People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation,
    employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of
    workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they
    are doing," said Kerry.

    President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a
    long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance.
    Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this
    agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

    Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the
    Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home
    improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

    President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of
    Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet-level
    jobs.

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man"
    positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real
    responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.


    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
    guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
    legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a
    significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax
    credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker
    for every two talented hires.

    Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to
    discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
    questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
    any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

    "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
    something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
    lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job
    skills.

    "This new law should really help people like me."

    With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
    citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American
    citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take
    up in this great nation."
     
  2. ugly_blazer

    ugly_blazer 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Posts:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    0
    /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. js4x4

    js4x4 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Posts:
    798
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    i don't think it'd be a go anyway hehe...but makes for a comical read none the less. Besides, I think he'd flip flop his way around it to try to appease to everyone "i'm all for it, and i'll sign it as policy....." a week later "well, we're finding some discrepancies in the wording, so i don't like it..." repeat til his potential presidency is over /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif
     
  4. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Posts:
    3,164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SLC UT
    Read the book "ATLAS SHRUGGED" by Ann Rand. that happened in the book. and it shows what would happen to society /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif good article though!
     
  5. SUBFAN

    SUBFAN 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    Posts:
    2,334
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Davenport, Ia
    You go Ben.... /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  6. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Posts:
    17,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gettysburg, SD
    And in 2010 Presidente' For Life RJ Blackboots introduces his new plan to control crime with the famous .308 bill
     
  7. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2003
    Posts:
    2,664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Quartz Hill, So. Cal
    As much as it was good reading, that law passed many years ago in the late 70's when it was called "Equal Opportunity Employment" and has been carried out to this date under the new corporate term of "Diversity" I have been in the Aerospace sector dealing with many, many different businesses and corporations for the last 24 years. The "Employees" (since we cant single people out as Americans anymore because were "Diversified") with No Abilitys is well underway today /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
     
  8. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2003
    Posts:
    2,763
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Barrio
    Thanks for saying what needed to be said Silverado. /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  9. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Posts:
    3,164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SLC UT
    [ QUOTE ]
    And in 2010 Presidente' For Life RJ Blackboots introduces his new plan to control crime with the famous .308 bill

    [/ QUOTE ]
    RJ please feel free to expound on your proposed crime control bill, I for one would love to sit down and listen to your proposal /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif I'm so full of it sometimes /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  10. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Posts:
    17,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gettysburg, SD
    It involves a sliding scale of punishment from hammer bonks to executions grande finales!
     

Share This Page