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ANALOGIES AND METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Dec 18, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides
    gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
    underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
    boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
    schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of
    those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

    She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
    before it throws up.

    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
    his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
    formerly surcharge-free ATM.

    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way
    a bowling ball wouldn't.

    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.

    From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
    Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

    The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
    them in hot grease.

    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
    grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
    Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
    p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
    resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
    who had also never met.

    He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

    Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one
    that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
    this plan just might work.

    The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
    a while.

    "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college
    freshman on $1-a-beer night.

    He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
    real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
    something.

    The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee
    (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry
    Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment
    of President William Jefferson Clinton.

    The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

    He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
    she were a garbage truck backing up.

    She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

    Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

    She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

    Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper
    fax machine that needed a band tightened.

    It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
     
  2. BigBluOx

    BigBluOx 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way
    a bowling ball wouldn't.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    That one's a re-word of a Douglass Adams quote: The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
    —Douglas Adams
    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 1980 /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    Jon /forums/images/graemlins/burb.gif
     
  3. ChevyDrivnRdneck

    ChevyDrivnRdneck 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

    "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college
    freshman on $1-a-beer night.



    [/ QUOTE ] ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. Swanson52

    Swanson52 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif That one made soda come out the nose...
     
  5. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

    [/ QUOTE ] Loved all the books in that series. The cloking device is a classic !!!!! It's got a "somebody else's problem" cloak. You see it, but dismiss it as somebody else's problem. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. K5Jimmy

    K5Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    I thought I wuz havin' a dang stroke...I forgot about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...I got my towel ... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  7. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Oh sh!t, I forgot about the towel. Gotta hang one one the back of my chair now.
     
  8. BigBluOx

    BigBluOx 1/2 ton status

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    I'm so depressed... /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

    I left my towel in the truck /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif ... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Jon /forums/images/graemlins/burb.gif
     
  9. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

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    You can use you towel as a sail, a weapon, a food source, a blanket, a bandage, oh you have to have your towel!

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    <font color="green"> Don't forget to bring a towel!

    [​IMG] </font color>
     

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