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Anybody sorta at loose ends with their life?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by AJMBLAZER, Mar 30, 2007.

  1. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    It's been bugging me lately that I don't know what I want to do anymore. I'm 28, married, no kids, recently and suddenly unemployed, trying to sell my house and move south, and am about to get my associates degree with no clue what to do with it or where to go from here.

    I thought I wanted to join the Marines and retire after 20+ years. 4 years later I was out and glad to be so...mostly...

    Figured I'd do what I always wanted to do and learn to fly...only to learn there's no money in it anymore and the flying I used to read about as a kid just isn't there anymore. Too tightly controlled and regulated and 13 different ways to **** your life up accidentally. That and I couldn't afford to keep flying...$120 an hour for the small planes...:eek1:

    I've always liked History so I changed my major and am about to get my associates in that program after 3.5 years of working fulltime and trying to go to school. My GPA isn't stellar and I really have no clue what to do with my associates degree or where to go from here. The GI Bill runs out in 2011 and I only have about 13 months worth anyways. The wife wants to go back to school to become a dentist so I think my college days are numbered anyways...

    Meanwhile Michigan sucks, the economy here sucks, the job market is horrible, I lost my job because my last company's owners were clueless, I can't find a good job, unemployment is slow in coming, our house needs a new roof before we can effectively sell it, the housing market is down here...

    Ugh...

    My wife is working both of her jobs as much as possible and it's eating her, and us, up. We fight and bicker about stupid things and she pushes me to do stuff that never works out and I just do like always, shut up and don't say anything until I finally burst and get angry... I get so angry/depressed/pissed off at everything and nothing that I don't want to do stuff...then I don't have any money so I can't even get most of my projects/work done. Big Ugly's pretty much just sitting until money shows up from somewhere.

    ...at least the dog likes having me around more.:tongue1:
     
  2. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    You might want to look into that. I only signed for $10K, but they gave me a little more. Also, if you get into a job listed, sign up for the VA and you will get paid for OJT.:wink1:
     
  3. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    It may sound funny to some, but I have always looked at my job as "recession proof" I have been in the refrigeration field since 1975 and have never regretted a single day of it.

    Think about it.
    Everyone needs refrigeration.
    And I can tell you from first hand experiance,the pool of skilled workers in this field is drying up. People just don't want to work with their hands anymore.



    It pay's great ( for a technical field ) a 5 year tech is averaging 20-25 per hour. a 8-10 year tech average 26-34 per hour.

    With overtime,,,we have a few hourly techs that made 6 figures last year.
    Some techs pull 80 hour weeks in the summertime.

    If your tallented with your hands,,like to do things that technically challange the mind , (and I assume you do,,or you wouldn't be here),,,you might want to look into HVAC/Refrigeration.


    I'm not talking about little home domestic refrigerators,,,I'm talking large commercial / industrial stuff ....feel free to PM me if you need more info or I can be of any help...

    I bet that even in a depressed economy area like Michigan,,,,the refrigeration trade is still thriving...
     
  4. bowtiepower00

    bowtiepower00 1/2 ton status

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    Reading your post made me chuckle a little bit, because it's pretty close to what I've been doing with my life, and I feel the same way you do sometimes.

    I'm a couple years younger than you. I thought about joining the Military out of school, but ended up working construction on Military bases instead. Got tired of that after a couple of years, and decided to go to flight school. Decided that wasn't for me, for pretty much the same reasons you listed. Also graduated with my Associates in History. Got back into Mechanic/ Construction work. Was making good money, but decided to quit (a much more enjoyable, higher paying job) and move to AZ to help my (mostly on-again) GF of the last 7+ years finish school. She is going to be entering the medical field soon, and is currently going to school and has a full time internship. I'm working a job I don't really enjoy to get her through, and we are both pretty stressed out and arguementative. I've been searching for other jobs, but I can't just go out and quit w/o a new one, which aren't always the easiest to find when you're already working fulltime and out of town. We have enough money to pay the bills and survive, but not enough to do anything more than that- no truck parts, etc. To top that off, I've worked my ass off to buy my toys (tools, MC, Nova, etc.) before I get married, so that nobody could tell me no, and I live in an apartment and my toys are currently thousands of miles away in storage.

    I just try to stay positive and maintain. The bottom line is, I do it for my GF. After she finishes school, I can have all of the material things that I want, and that in reality, I don't really need. There are a lot of people who would love to be in my situation, and I take it for granted. When I get frustrated and stressed out, It's too easy to take it out on her (and vice-versa). We've got our health, if nothing else. I could be living in a hut in a third world country like Iraq.

    So, for now, I'll have to settle for web-wheelin and bench racing. And driving my stockish K20. And cringing everytime I hear a Harley ride by because if I don't ride pretty soon I think I'm going to go postal. Do you have any pets? If my GF and I didn't have our two dogs, we'd have killed each other long ago, for sure... They always seem to put me at ease after a bad day/ week.

    The last thing I tell myself is that I'm young enough that it doesn't really matter at my age. When I look at most of the older Boomers I know in their 50's (including many who are very successful), they were farther behind where I was at my age.

    As mentioned before, there is a large void growing in the skilled trade industries. Sure there is an abundance of rediculously cheap unskilled labor that has driven pay down nationwide, but above that, there is a growing need for skilled and driven techs. Everyone our age wants to sit inside and type on a computer. Not many of us have hands on knowledge and ability. Lots of apprenticeship programs for unions, etc., out there. Lots of CC classes available. Lots of small shops looking for people with common sence to train on the job.

    If you combine a skilled trade with the education you already have you will be able to excel in just about any field you want. I thought about being a History teacher, but I don't really like kids. There are quite a few Historians employed with the Federal Gov't for various reasons if you want to go that route.
     
  5. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    wow bowtie, that does sound familiar.

    Yep, got a lazy little dog who's good for unwinding you when you're pissed off about something. She's currently dozing with the wife on the couch.:laugh:


    I think most of my problem on the job front is where we are and I'm not sure what the f-it is I want to do. Michigan just has no jobs, especially not up here. That's why we're trying to get out of here and move south...as in North Carolina. There's more jobs in the Raleigh paper in one day than the Traverse City paper here has in a month. I'm not kidding.
    Then there's the what to do quotient...a lot of people keep telling me to be a mechanic because I like tinkering with cars. The problem is I'm a SLOW tinkerer and nobody would ever confuse me with a professional. That and three and a half years of working on junk the Navy neglected for decades makes me appreciate that I really DON'T want to work on other people's junk.:tongue1:
    I definitely want to get out of warehousing, the dust and crap get to me after a while. It's amazing how much better I breathe now after almost a month out of that warehouse.
    The sad part up here is I did shipping and receiving, warehousing, inventory control, etc for almost 3 years now and I can't get a job. Every job like that in the paper gets 80+ resumes and it's always filled by the guy who did it for 10+ years and is willing to work for $8 an hour. Unemployment pays more than that...

    I don't want to be a teacher either. College somewhat appeals to me but any kid under the age of 18 currently evokes in me the urge to slap them until they cry...okay, not all kids but it seems like all of the ones I end up dealing with.:crazy:
    I've thought about getting a History Degree and trying to get into some type of researching job but I literally have no clue where to start even down that path.

    Bubba, you're right and I wasn't clear earlier. I've been using the GI Bill. I actually maxed mine out so I got something like 39 months at full time. I've been using it piece-meal part time and full time since Jan of '04. 13 months is what I have left.

    Don't even get me started on the wife wanting to have kids "before she gets old"...:rolleyes: ...she's 21...and SHE's the one who just came up with the idea to go back to school for eight more years.
     
  6. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    Wasted Wages has a good point in regards to recession-proof/transferable jobs. I mentioned on another thread that Bubba and I, and now Wasted Wages are lucky. We have transferable jobs, jobs that are always in need, and (for me specifically) jobs that match my personality.
    I'm a people-person so I love working in the E.R. getting pissed on, chit on, bled on, etc.
     
  7. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    You also bring up a good option.
    Go where the jobs are. It's hard getting a Navy ship refab. job in Boise, ID!

    When my wife and I decided to leave San Diego I wanted a small town and she wanted a college town so we picked Boise, ID. I applied and got three part-time jobs when I moved up here. Two security jobs and one stocking shelves job (Home Depot).
     
  8. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    One thing to consider where you move to is do the wages stay on the same level as housing cost. Now I no jack about N. Carolina just so we all know that. So my question is that you say they have lots of jobs, but are they jobs that can pay for good housing. Here in Oklahoma the wages I make are far less than what I could be making back home in California, but my house cost roughly about 200K less than what it would have cost in California. So making less money here didn't hurt me in being able to buy a house.
    Just make sure you don't move somewhere that you wind up in the same situation that you are currently in.............
     
  9. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    Also if you have any experience looking at blue prints you can get a job as an estimator in the contruction industry
     
  10. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    this would be a very short profession for me.....:haha: :haha:

    but I do :bow: to you for doing it.....
     
  11. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    No blueprint experience here.

    I would really love to get an in demand job skill and just live off of that for the rest of my life. The trouble for me is if I don't care about it I have a REALLY hard time doing it.

    The triangle area of NC is one of the most high growth areas of the country. I hae relatives down there and from what I hear, pay is good and housing, while not inexpensive, isn't any worse than up here in this tourist trap. We also won't go into our next home/land purchase as deaf, blind, and dumb as we did this one.
     
  12. skyyk5

    skyyk5 1/2 ton status

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    I'm going through about the same thing.

    My friend wanted to learn to fly also, so he did. Now he is an Instructor. He told me that he never regrets leaving his old job.
     
  13. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    Flying is definitely done for me. I realized that the flying I was in love with as a kid doesn't exist anymore. That and after working in the field for almost two years a few years ago I realized pilots aren't making great money anymore. Too many pilots and not enough work to go around.
     
  14. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i've been feeling that way lately,but for different reasons.my wife and i went through similar stuff a few years ago.and we are now apart. cuz we both felt helpless and took it out on each other.things get better, and they did for us. but we still had anger toward each other from the bad days.you need to have fun and so do i. alot of guys here have told me that.:D thats why i'm lookin forward to dads on sat.just make it there and i'll get you back brother.bring the wife and anyone else you want.we both need the laugh.don't let this get the best of you or your marrage.THINGS WILL GET BETTER!!!! i wish i would have thought of this before my own marrage went sour. but i thought it would work it self out.:doah: you guys are young start daydreaming of the future and what you are going to do.daryl
     
  15. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    new job time.. i say take your knowledge and obvious intelligence (you're getting a college diploma, something ive never done, so i applaud you) and go looking... monster.com and list yourself as relocateable with assistance...
    every company needs another good employee, whether they know it or not... move to 33901 and ill find you a job doing something... and the housing market is right for buying...
     
  16. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    It is a tough spot to be in. When I was laid off a few years ago I got kind of disgusted with my self- the whole a "man needs to take care of his family." I did what I could to make the most out of it. (I won't lie money was tight for a while we had my G.I. bill cash, unemployment, & then some handyman jobs, and, thankfully my wife was still working at a very steady job.) I finished up at the school I was in and we started planing our next move. We had talked about moving out to AZ. It sounded like a good plan, but...we would have been a lot worse of, at least at first. Like Corey was saying, even though I would have been making the same $$$, my cost of living would have gone up. AND- my wife would have had to find a new job.

    It took some time, but I found a job here that paid enough for now- still no real "mad cash" but we can go on vacations and buy more crap for our kids:D My point is it happens to a lot of us at one time or another. Just keep fighting and it will turn around. If you give up you will be sunk.

    Your plan about looking in the Piedmont triad is a good one, at least from what I've seen of the area. One thing you might want to consider though, try to find a job before moving. You mentioned family, see if you can stay with them while job hunting. Then when you find something move your family down. Even if you have to put most of your stuff into one of those P.O.D.S. deals and live with just the basics for a month or so. Then you can just have the trailer dropped at your new place w/o needing to take off time at a new job.
     
  17. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    whatever you do, in the name of all that is holy, don't have kids right now.

    Getting a "recession proof" job is always a plus. I'm not particularly in love with the job I have right now, but I do like the field... there is room to move up... and the benes rock. If ya think about it there are actually lots of jobs that weather economic storms pretty well. In the end, people gotta have a roof over their heads, water to drink, food to eat, electricity, and transportation. There are probably 100 jobs related to those basic needs that you could go for and would be 'a-ok' no matter what was going on with the economy. Like whatshisname said, no matter how bad things get, people are gonna need their food kept cool... so he'll always have a job. Good plan. My field is similar... there will always be people trying to steal money or be violent in the workplace... so there will always be a security job for me. :thumb:

    j
     
  18. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    One dog is enough for us now, especially with her school coming up. Kids are a long ways away if we have anything to say about it. We're actively trying NOT to have them if you get my jist.

    We'll probably be leaving a vehicle and a bunch of our stuff with family downstate, then one of us will come back and bring all of it when we're more settled. We have to be in state a year to establish residency for the schools so we'll have time to kill.
     
  19. Storm Trooper

    Storm Trooper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Man, I'm sorry. I know how it can suck and how it seems like there's no way out but hang in there.
    I know a LOT of guys are saying to themselves, Dave? He's got it made!
    but believe me, it wasn't always like it is for my now.
    I lived in the west side of Detroit and back in the 80's I lost my job and couldn't find another one for 6 months. My wife was pregnant and I was on unemployment and food stamps to get the wife milk for the baby.
    She had a job and that's what got us by. I couldn't even get a job at McDonald's (they said I was over qualified).
    Times where very hard.
    I have friends in the Detroit area and they're all doing OK but if I can give you any advice it would be to get the heck out of there as soon as you can.
    Scrap the money together and go with you dreams and move.
    Do it now before you have a kid and it's impossible.
    I know it will be hard to sell your house but if you have to, rent it.
    Even if you have to go down there by yourself to get things going, do it.
    It's better then fighting about money with the wife.
    Start sending out resume etc. now while you can.
    I wish you the best, you'll make it, hang it there.
     
  20. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    if you want to move bad enough, just put a for sale sign up and see what happens.. if the buyer worries about a roof, tell him you'll knock a few g's off the price, problem solved.. if you want a successful life, the worst thing you can do is be the kind of guy who wants all conditions to be perfect before making a change or moving forward.. procrastination breeds indecision..also, make it a house rule to not bicker over stupid sh*t.. you two need to be united and supportive in fixing this..

    It's easy to have the same kind of life down south as you are having in michigan( sucky ), because every job becomes work after awhile, and job security is a myth anyway.. the only thing you can control is how you react to things. layoffs, closures, and stupid bosses are everywhere..

    so, in order to minimize the chance of you ending up a pack mule working a job you hate, ( which would suck after moving all that way ) spend some time assessing your strengths, not just what you like or want.. what makes someone want you on their team? being smart is great.. being able to communicate your ideas pays better. can you do that?

    think hard about the core skills, abilities, talents and gifts you have, and then look for places to apply them.. if you know and can communicate the value you would bring to an employer, you could find success just about anywhere..

    As far as the question of " how you pick the right true shining path for your life", there isn't an easy answer.. take what you know, where you've been, and who you are, synthesize that into a cohesive message called " why you should hire me", and start walking in the direction you think happiness lies.. pay attention to the doors that are opened, and be brave enough to walk through..

    the thing to remember is that we're all just guessing, when it comes to things like jobs.. even a calculated risk is a guess, and some work out better than others..

    be positive, don't fight with your wife, and never let your emotions dominate you..
     

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