Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Anyone been to marriage counseling?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2001
    Posts:
    32,076
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    .
    Did it help? What kind of questions do they ask? How do they "help" you? Anything I should know before going (other than the hourly rate)? :dunno:
     
  2. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2002
    Posts:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, WA
    I went with my ex. All the problems were all my fault. We split up approx. 6 weeks into "counseling". That should tell you how valuable it was for me. :p:

    Actually, splitting up with my ex was the best thing that ever happened to me. I met my wife 2 days after. We've been together for the past 14 years come the 19th of this month. :laugh: She puts up with all my truck stuff and I put up with her family and dogs. :D
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Women=bonkers. don't fight it Wes, you'll only die tryin...:haha:
     
  4. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Everywhere
    The job of the counseler is too try too get you too see her side and her too see your side. But alot of times, a woman counseler will only see the womans point of view and a male counseler will side with the woman also because he's so wound up in trying too get her point of view accrost to you. So find a counseler that's been around for a while, one with a good reputation.
     
  5. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    8????:doah: :bow:
     
  6. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Posts:
    22,728
    Likes Received:
    96
    Location:
    dearborn heights, Michigan
    the closest i've been was a marriage retreat.when the guy asked what advice you would give to younger people about marriage. i slipped up and said don't do it. :doah: :eek1: i made alot of friends that night. :whistle:
     
  7. sledheadak

    sledheadak 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2005
    Posts:
    1,283
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    anchorage,alaska
    a friend is going and says it helps a lot.but for it to work -like anything else in a marrage- both sides have to be willing to put real effort into it and not just give lip service.hmm lip service,best type of counsling the mrs can give.
     
  8. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2000
    Posts:
    15,552
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    Cochrane, Alberta, Canada
    Counselling is definitely a valuable tool, but keep in mind that BOTH of you have to be willing participants. IMHO, it's not gonna help unless you're both going for the same reason, which should be getting to the bottom of the issues affecting your marriage. If one of you is just along for the ride, it's basically an exercise in futility.

    From talking to friends who have gone, I have learned that the hardest part is admitting your faults out loud in front of your spouse. If you tend to be stubborn, it's probably the hardest thing you're ever going to be asked to do. You also can't be afraid to tell your wife EXACTLY what you expect from her as a husband, and vice-versa. That being said, both parties have to be willing to meet in the middle and find a happy medium where yours and her needs are met.

    As others have said, do a little background research and choose a counsellor who has proven track record in the industry. He or she should be able to avoid taking sides and have the ability to make both of you open up and be honest with eachother.

    Good luck, Wes. Remember your vows- "For better or for worse". It's impossible to expect that two human beings can get along with eachother ALL of the time, and hopefully, a few years from now, you and the missus will look back at this time and giggle about how dumb the whole situation was....

    Keep us posted, brother. We're here for you, 24/7!!!! :thumb:
     
  9. BranndonC

    BranndonC 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2002
    Posts:
    8,591
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Anaheim, Ca
    never done it, but would do it in a heart beat if i thought i needed to
     
  10. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2003
    Posts:
    3,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    With My Tinfoil Hat

    Make sure you do seperate counseling, before you do joint sessions. The counselor needs to get an accurate read on the personalities in the situation, and many couselors aren't strong enough to keep one partner from dominating the other during a session.

    Also, make sure everyone knows what success means in this situation.. in other words, be able to answer the question " how do I know the couseling has worked " ?

    The answer is deeper than " if we stay together, that means it worked ".. you have to be able to define and communicate what you both want to achieve, and what your expectations are from each other. If your counselor is any good, that person will help you define those things, and identify the stumbling blocks in the relationship.

    Tom
     
  11. smalltruckbigcid

    smalltruckbigcid 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2004
    Posts:
    3,866
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    NE Wyoming
    And last but not least......if the conselor asks "do you have any guns in the house?" Leave the house with all the guns IMMEDIATELY and hide them where the spouse can't get at them. Friend of mine got asked that question and got met at the door to the house by the wifey holding a loaded 44mag Ruger. :eek1:
    George
     
  12. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Posts:
    8,224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Relationship program, 4 month commitment, once a week. Lot different from a marriage counselor.

    Had about 20 couples, worked in full group, small groups, and one on one with male & female counselors. Nice thing about it was to see just how many people had the exact same problems you did, you didn't feel like an isolated case.

    Most of it involved learning to take responsibility for your own baggage instead of blaming your partner. The main point: most problems you experience in a relationship are generated by you to begin with. Working out your own issues and flaws first gives you the ability to address the relationship in a healthy manner.

    That's kinda skimming it, there was a lot more to it. I know it saved our relationship though, gave me a whole new perspective. As long as you are both committed to working it out you should do well. You'll find yourself feeling very uncomfortable at times but that is when you are learning and pushing your own boundaries, personal growth.
     
  13. aduff85k5

    aduff85k5 Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Posts:
    91
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida panhandle


    well put. i agree 100 %. am currently in sessions with mine. it is 100.00 a week but worth it as i want this to be the last relationship im in. i feel like she an i are making great progress. it's difficult to do at times but worth it. i'm learning things about me that i did know. and that is personal progress in my books
     
  14. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

    Joined:
    May 8, 2001
    Posts:
    16,555
    Likes Received:
    157
    Location:
    Los Estados Unitos
    Man, you're like the love Dr. lately... :haha: :haha:

    I agree, well said!
     
  15. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2000
    Posts:
    15,552
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    Cochrane, Alberta, Canada
    Hmmmmmmmm. Love Dr., eh?

    Maybe I should go see if Kim Can needs a "housecall"......:thinking:

    Well, that was a waste of time. Oh well, at least I'm helping some OTHER guys get the love they need....:doah: :rotfl:
     
  16. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2002
    Posts:
    12,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Centralia, Washington
    Here's tip:

    Don't be me!


    Knowing the problem is ONLY half the battle. Knowing what to do with that knowledge is more important.
     

Share This Page