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anyone ele in their 20's and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by R72K5, Nov 11, 2003.

  1. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    just wondering if anyone else out there around my age(25) is still 'lost' in life and is still technically a nobody and with no family or career or anything at all and no real way to get 'unlosted' thanks to how their surroundings are

    also who has managed to sucessfully relocate after not having any opportunities to get ahead in life with being where they originally were located ?

    i need ot know any tips and/or ideas that a younger person would need to know in order to hopefully get a start in life ?

    some of us like myself are really tired of getting no where and being a nobody and really yearns to be more, but cant find a way to be anything other than a poor bum. feel like am old at 25 and not going to get anywhere ever. do have goals, such as getting into a trade-hopefully mechsanically related (other than being a mechanic) and also goalof getting heck out of this region where nothing is to be found,-including life opportunities. maybe someone who is from IL and has found a way away from there, or maybe even soemone whomanaged to find a path in IL ?

    dunno.

    is it too late at 25 ? shouldnt a 25 year old have things going for him/her by that age ?

    who does or doesnt believe that location can or does determine if a person succeeds in road of life or not ?
    i believe that it practically solely affects a person's successfullness, after being here all 25 years of my life.


    open to any ideas suggestions, anything at all, not a pity thread or anything like that, this is my only tie to the outside world other than my immediate surroundings, so this is an opportunity in itself.

    there are alot of other things i couldor should ask, but dontb know what right now,

    thanks
     
  2. sapper

    sapper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    You could join the military. I was in about the same boat as you are with the threat of jail time when i came in, alot of people are nervous when they think about coming in but there are great benifits with the job. I read on here all the time about people trying to find work, getting laid off, the economy and that type of thing but i never worry about it, i get paid twice a month get a couple raises every year and you said you dont like where you live now, no problem, pick a branch that suits you and try to get to a area you think you will like. Also for the long term its great, there are very few if any jobs out there that have a 20 year retirment, most are 30 and then you have to wait to recieve your pension, i just turned 30 and in 8 years i will be out and getting paid the rest of my life. Sure you might have to dodge bullets once in awhile, but i get tired of hearing the "my grandfather was in the war" stories, go fight your own war and be proud of it /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    I think it took me until I was 40 to find my a$$ with both hands and radar. I think it takes that long for everyone. And I'll bet when I'm 60 I'll look back on when I was 40 and think "What a dumbass." You're making life at 25 much too complicated.

    When I was 23 I moved from MO to Los Angeles - didn't know anybody, no job prospects, but had a little money saved up. Still here, doing fine.

    For work: First thing you need to do is sort out for yourself what kind of work you can do that will make you happy. Then learn how to do it well. Save some money in your current situation as you start a second job doing what you love. Then gradually shift things over until you are just doing what you love, or take a jump and don't do it as gradually.

    Personal life: Noting unusual about being lost at 25. You're really young. Just do things you like to do, don't worry about what anyone else thinks you ought to be doing. Don't take drugs. Don't drink too much. Find what kinds of things make you happy and do them, and do them your whole life. Life will sort out OK as long as you maintain your personal integrity and do things that make you happy.

    Happiness has very little to do with location. It has everything to do with 1) establishing a goal - any goal 2) overcoming barriers to attaining the goal. 3) Setting another goal - for anything. 4) overcoming barriers and attaining that goal. Repeat for the rest of your life.

    The goal itself is unimportant. Learning how to overcome barriers to attaining your goal is what's important. Learn that as a skill and you will be able to accomplish anything. That's where self worth comes from.

    You can set small goals at first that might be fun to meet. Become goal oriented on small things, and it will eventually escalate. Then you won't be lost anymore.
     
  4. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    [ QUOTE ]
    You could join the military. I was in about the same boat as you are with the threat of jail time when i came in, alot of people are nervous when they think about coming in but there are great benifits with the job. I read on here all the time about people trying to find work, getting laid off, the economy and that type of thing but i never worry about it, i get paid twice a month get a couple raises every year and you said you dont like where you live now, no problem, pick a branch that suits you and try to get to a area you think you will like. Also for the long term its great, there are very few if any jobs out there that have a 20 year retirment, most are 30 and then you have to wait to recieve your pension, i just turned 30 and in 8 years i will be out and getting paid the rest of my life. Sure you might have to dodge bullets once in awhile, but i get tired of hearing the "my grandfather was in the war" stories, go fight your own war and be proud of it /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    When I look back on it, I imagine if the Army hadn't undergone the changes it was going through when I got out, I'd probably stayed in and would be less than 7 years to retirement. Sometimes I even regret getting out.

    As for being old at 25, wait until you are 31 /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Sometimes, it takes time to get what you want. When I got out of the Army at 23, I had a definite plan on where I wanted to be by now; but with outside forces and other pitfalls, I was unable to fulfill my goals at that time, so I bummed around and technically I am still bumming around.

    But I have been through the schooling that I wanted, I was able to get me a vo-cert in Auto Tech and then got my academy certificate. I'm almost there though.

    I know where I want to go and I am working on getting there, if not having to take one more extra step to get there.

    It may not be the most $$$$$ in the world, but I will rest assured that I will be around people that are descent and when the time comes for kids, I will rest assured that they will have teachers that actually care for kids and not their union and won't be gangbanging....................
     
  5. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    You could join the military. I was in about the same boat as you are with the threat of jail time when i came in, alot of people are nervous when they think about coming in but there are great benifits with the job. I read on here all the time about people trying to find work, getting laid off, the economy and that type of thing but i never worry about it, i get paid twice a month get a couple raises every year and you said you dont like where you live now, no problem, pick a branch that suits you and try to get to a area you think you will like. Also for the long term its great, there are very few if any jobs out there that have a 20 year retirment, most are 30 and then you have to wait to recieve your pension, i just turned 30 and in 8 years i will be out and getting paid the rest of my life. Sure you might have to dodge bullets once in awhile, but i get tired of hearing the "my grandfather was in the war" stories, go fight your own war and be proud of it /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    When I look back on it, I imagine if the Army hadn't undergone the changes it was going through when I got out, I'd probably stayed in and would be less than 7 years to retirement. Sometimes I even regret getting out.

    As for being old at 25, wait until you are 31 /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Sometimes, it takes time to get what you want. When I got out of the Army at 23, I had a definite plan on where I wanted to be by now; but with outside forces and other pitfalls, I was unable to fulfill my goals at that time, so I bummed around and technically I am still bumming around.

    But I have been through the schooling that I wanted, I was able to get me a vo-cert in Auto Tech and then got my academy certificate. I'm almost there though.

    I know where I want to go and I am working on getting there, if not having to take one more extra step to get there.

    It may not be the most $$$$$ in the world, but I will rest assured that I will be around people that are descent and when the time comes for kids, I will rest assured that they will have teachers that actually care for kids and not their union and won't be gangbanging....................

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I'd like to wholeheartedly agree!!!

    I put almost 11 years in the USAF. I got out as I was sick of the micromanagement. If I were still in, I'd be less tha 6 years to retirement.

    As far as being lost at 31, I'm 32 and still semi-lost in life. I am married, but not sure that is all that it is craked up to be for me right now.

    I just wish I could do somethings over. That doesn;t mean be afriad to take chances - DON'T!! Just realize that it is okay to make mistakes. Just don't make the same ones over again. Only an idiot makes the same mistake repeatedly.

    Good luck with the rest of your life - you still have a bunch of it left!!

    /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif
     
  6. TrcksR4ME

    TrcksR4ME 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    I feel your pain, I am 23 and in your same situation. I went to tech school and graduated last spring, but the job market in the Seattle area where I live is not doing well for what I studied for right now /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif

    Seems like also where I live the economy is recovering at a slower rate than the rest of the country and I think relocating might help, but all my family is here and I think that is reason enough to stay here, for now.

    This is kind of the plight that our generation is in, sad to say. We are in a postion where it is becoming difficult to do as well or better than our parents before us, who themselves did better than their parents before them etc.
     
  7. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    not in response to any answers from anyone, but basically i should just be asking soemthing along the lines of:

    anyone who has been in the same boat as i am in right now and have been in; what have they done or ran into to help them to get anywhere in this life(a start) ?
     
  8. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    Well, I'm 32. I bought my first house when I was 20, got married at 22, and had a kid by the time I was 25.

    I was as lost as you until I was about 18. I had no direction and no money. One day I got a small break and landed an okay paying job($9.85 in 1989) with a pretty good company. I worked hard and because I didn't have a life I picked up a second job working door at a club. After a couple of months of working 2 jobs I actually had money to spare- I think that was about the time that I realized that working hard long hours made me feel good about myself(the double paycheque thing didn't hurt either!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif)

    I kept working two(and sometimes 3)jobs until my first daughter turned one(I was 26) and Kim hinted that it was time to concentrate on family instead of work. We had a pretty good lifestyle at the time and enough equity to move up a notch if we needed to wanted to, so I cut my hours to 40-50 a week and started being a dad.

    It's kind of hard to put into words, but I think for me the way out of the "lost world" was to find a place to direct my energy. Once I realized that I was going to have to work hard to get what I wanted, I think I looked at it as kind of a challenge. And once I started meeting and beating the self-imposed conditions of the challenge it improved my self esteem. When my bank account started to grow it encouraged me even more. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif As my self-confidence grew it affected my job performance which led to raises and promotions and a higher feeling of accomplishment.....

    So basically I turned a downward spiral into an upward spiral where I looked at the obstacles I would face as challenges instead of roadblocks. As a 4x4 enthusiast you should know what I'm talking about........... /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

    Good luck, brother.
     
  9. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    Are you sure you're not my older brother? I know what I want to do, I just don't know how to get there.

    As of right now, I'm almost 21, living with mom and dad, jobless, trying to be happy, and spending what money I get on the truck(s). That's really what keeps me happy right now.

    I was at Appalachian State for one year, but I partied too much and let my grades slip, so I decided to come home. I'm going to a community college right now and I'm as miserable as it gets.

    I want to go to NADC or some tech school to get into the 4 wheel drive business. My only downfall is where I am and where I NEED to be to actually make some money.

    Then there's my other hang-up. I'm dating a girl that I don't want to leave behind. I mean, I KNOW that we'll stay together, but I just can't bring myself to get up and leave town.

    I'm the kind of person that when I want something, it has to be right now. I have no dreams of making a lot of money, all I want is enough to support my family to the fullest extent and give me a little to play with at the end of the day. For once, I just want to be "that guy", the one everyone knows and comes to.

    Everyone tells me that I'll never be good at anything, especially not a mechanic, as I take forever to get my little jobs around here done. To me, there's a different kind of motivation to get something done when you're getting PAID to do it.

    But yes, I know where you're coming from. It took me 4 years of thinking to figure out where I want to go, and now that I DO know, I have no idea how to get there.
     
  10. TrcksR4ME

    TrcksR4ME 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    [ QUOTE ]
    Then there's my other hang-up. I'm dating a girl that I don't want to leave behind. I mean, I KNOW that we'll stay together, but I just can't bring myself to get up and leave town.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not trying to tell you what to do here, but girls come and go, so don't let a girl (esp when your 21) decide the outcome of your life. Do what you need to do to achieve your goals. If things don't work out with the girl down the road and you put your "life" plans on hold you will probably not feel good about it.
     
  11. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    Well I'm not in my 20's anymore but I am from Illinois /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif I grew up on the outskirts of E. St. Louis. Although it wasn't a terrible neighborhood then, it is virtually extinct now. I joined the Air Force and have been in for 15 years now. I'm still trying to find myself so to speak. I know I can retire in 5 years and am trying to figure out what the hell to do with the rest of my life. I think I made a great choice when I joined. when I go home to visit I see some of my old friends and not 1 of them has yet to do anything at all with their lives. Most can barely hold a PT job, most of the time are drunk or high.
    Granted, your not going to get rich in the military but it's a job with a steady paycheck as long as you don't do stupid things /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  12. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    Well, when I had just turned 26, I packed my bags and came to Oklahoma from the Central Coast of Cali. Already had a wife and my daughter. Things were getting bad for us in California (I shall not elaborate). I had done an honorable stint in the USMC (which has helped immensely), but had no skills other than marksmanship. Took a job w/ a temp. agency making next to nothing. Stuck w/ a place that I thought I could make a go at, and here I am seven years later as the head of the quality control department. No, not what I thought I would be doing as a career, but momma and the babies (got a son now also) like to eat, have clothes and a roof. I basically had to succeed. Find something you can/like to do, and give it all you have. There is no way you cannot succeed if you try hard enough.

    [ QUOTE ]
    You could join the military. I was in about the same boat as you are with the threat of jail time when i came in

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Why is it so many jarheads were on the brink of jail time before they joined (myself included)? /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    John
     
  13. TrcksR4ME

    TrcksR4ME 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    Seems like the hardest thing now is getting your foot in the door and getting a chance to prove yourself. This economy really kinda sucks for entry level kind of work, unless it is retail which IMO has no future or work satisfaction. I personally feel I could go in any number of directions but it is hard to find a place where you can start out and work your way up into a good job/career. As in not a one off oppurtunity where if you lose your job you can't go out and get another like it.

    Maybe I am not looking hard enough, looking in the right places, or know the right people /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  14. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    i agree, go in the military, that'll give ya some direction and you can help kick some terrorist azz. Even the national guard wouldnt be a bad idea would it? you could still persue other goals if u were a guardsmen and if you went to school (on the governments bill!) to get a degree you could become an officer at some point if u like the life well enough. goin in the marines is prolly the smartest thing I ever did.

    j
     
  15. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    [ QUOTE ]
    not in response to any answers from anyone, but basically i should just be asking soemthing along the lines of:

    anyone who has been in the same boat as i am in right now and have been in; what have they done or ran into to help them to get anywhere in this life(a start) ?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I grew up in West Central Illinois in the middle of a cornfield. My single Mom put me and both my sisters through college on $8 per hour. I got loans and grants, and worked full time while going to Engineering School full time. I'll be 40+ by the time I get my loans paid off, but if I hadn't gone to college I'd be pumping gas in West Central Illinois right now, or if I was lucky I might have landed a job at a local factory that paid barely more than minimum wage.

    When I graduated from college, I was lucky enough to have a job waiting. One week after graduation I packed what I could could carry in my Malibu and drove halfway across the country to a job and a new town where I didn't know anyone.

    /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif So to answer your question more directly, yes I grew up dirt poor in Illinois and made it out. /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif

    College isn't for everyone. To be honest I did it more to prove a point than because I wanted a career. You should also know that with a BS in Manufacturing Engineering, a minor in Physics, and 9 years of experience, I've been out of work for over 6 months. /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif

    But learning a trade of some sort will be what gets you a job somewhere that you can relocate to. I recently looked into going back to school to learn to run heavy construction equipment. You can get loans for 100% of it and the placement ratio is great if you're willing to relocate. I have the school info somewhere if you want it. Unfortunately, I can't afford to be in school right now with a family to support, but if you're skilled at running a trackhoe you can make good bucks.

    OK, getting too long now. If all else fails, pack what will fit in your truck, drive to your ideal location, and give it your best shot even if you only have a few hundred bucks to get by on. Lots of people (even those who were making 6 figures this time last year) are living in their cars right now... Where there's a will there's a way.

    GodSpeed.

    Paul 'X' /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif
     
  16. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    Oh, and I forgot... I'm 33 years old, Married with 2 kids, and I still have no idea what I'm going to be when I grow up... Seriously.

    Paul 'X' /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif
     
  17. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about reloca

    I should have elaborated more. I'm not going to let her hold me back as she'll be leaving for Wake Forest soon. It's just the fact that we're used to seeing each other often, and with me possibly going out of state, we'll be trying our true feelings for one another. I know I can make it work, and she says she can. I guess time will tell.
     
  18. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    [ QUOTE ]
    not in response to any answers from anyone, but basically i should just be asking soemthing along the lines of:

    anyone who has been in the same boat as i am in right now and have been in; what have they done or ran into to help them to get anywhere in this life(a start) ?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    When you get it figured out drop me a line /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
     
  19. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    [ QUOTE ]
    Are you sure you're not my older brother? I know what I want to do, I just don't know how to get there.

    As of right now, I'm almost 21, living with mom and dad, jobless, trying to be happy, and spending what money I get on the truck(s). That's really what keeps me happy right now.

    Everyone tells me that I'll never be good at anything, especially not a mechanic, as I take forever to get my little jobs around here done. To me, there's a different kind of motivation to get something done when you're getting PAID to do it.



    [/ QUOTE ]

    Damn man! thats scary... Same boat too

    25, Living at home, spending almost every penny from odd jobs and stuff on the trucks (trying to get the plow truck ready to make some money this winter). The only thing keeping me going right now is what I'm going to do to one of the blazer next. It does take less time to get a paid job done! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    Background on me...
    25, home for past three years with the folks, I have worked on and off different jobs with big gaps in between, college for 4.5years, BS in Graphic Arts Management, minor in Business Administration and computer science, also took classes in information technology (MIS).
     
  20. bowtiepower00

    bowtiepower00 1/2 ton status

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    Re: anyone ele in their 20\'s and still lost in life ? also a Q about relocation

    I'm 21 and work full time as a mechanic, welder, etc. as well as attend school full time (19+ hours a semester). I moved out at 18 and got a job working in an ironworks doing welding/fab and structural steel, as well as a mechanic, had another job erecting and dismantling tower cranes at night and on weekends, and started my own auto repair business with a friend of mine doing maintenance contracts for small businesses. I did that for two years and moved back to Iowa to go to school. I still don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up, but I'm working on it. I hate to jump on the bandwagon here, but I'd give the Military a serious look. I grew up in and around the Military lifestyle, and I've talked to LOTS of servicemen (and women) about how they like their jobs. Most of the younger ones love it, it's not until you've been in a while that the bureaucracy begins to take over. You can enlist for 3 years, make good money, get training, etc. If you don't like it getting out is not as hard as it used to be. DO NOT go to college or school unless you want to be there. I am surrounded by worthless kids who worry about tonight's party more than schoolwork, all while burning through their parents money. A lot of people might disagree with me here, but I would NOT turn a hobby that I love (Trucks, or whatever it may be) into a career. I've been there and done that, and after wrenching on other people's crap for 50+ hours a week the last thing I wanted to do was work on my own. Finally, don't be afraid to pack your stuff up and hit the road.
     

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