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Anyone with kids from prior marriage and starting again?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big pappa b, Oct 21, 2004.

  1. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    I have 2 boys (14 & 16) from a previous marriage. Have been remarried for 4 years and we are planning/trying to have our first together. Just wondering if you asked the older kids what they thought prior to trying or how they act towards the new baby. Or maybe some of you younger guys, did your parents divorce, remarry and have more kids? Your stepbrothers/sisters. Do you have any hard feelings against them or feel they aren't part of your family?

    Just trying to get a feeling how to deal with future problems.

    Thanks
     
  2. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif Actually, i have 2 half siblings,during the breif acqaintance with my father, the 2 treid to team up on me /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif joining together as one /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif they were way younger than me, but, definatly treid to team.Until i sat them down and informed them i am the boss /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif You should be fine. I havent gotten into a situation like that yet, but, im sure everything will be fine. There so much older now, they should love having a little baby brother/sister. I think by the time you guys have the baby, those boys should be past the stage of beong jealous/etc. Hope that helps, Jake* /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. semper-k-five

    semper-k-five 1/2 ton status

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    I don't...but my wife does....Her son loves the fact that he has himself a sister!!! I guess you would have to guage your two boys personallities and get an idea on how they would take it....with them being at that age, i would think they'd dig it....and younger sister or brother that they'll get to look out for!!!
     
  4. outlaw612

    outlaw612 1/2 ton status

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    Ive got a 7 year old from a previous marriage and a 4 month old with my wife. The older one thinks his little brother is the best. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    I guess Ill have to see how they get along as they get older.
     
  5. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    Man, i think the bigger the family the better. /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif Hes gonna be old though when the childs 18 /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif (j/k) /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    That's what I like to hear, no real negative replies. Although I think my oldest son, who is currently living with his mother, has some resentment towards my new wife. We get along good but I think he's more of a mommas boy /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif
     
  7. semper-k-five

    semper-k-five 1/2 ton status

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    i hear ya there man!! her son is the same way twords his father!!! but we all get along...i'm the "friend" and he's the father and i don't have a prob with that....

    just keep ur sons informed....when you and ur wife do the sonograms, have ur doc apts where the doc says the baby is doing fine, ect, ect...call ur boys up or talk to them with excitment and get them geared up and excited themselves...that's what we did with my wifes son...and it made him feel like he was a part of the whole thing...and not seperated from it because of divorce....

    it'll be good boss!! and i understand ur concerns...it's all up to you brother!
     
  8. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    Been there done that. Treat em all the same, all will be cool. Be prepared in 2-3 years complaints about little brother/sister bothering them, getting into their stuff. My wife and I have a 7 year old between us and she has 2 boys 16 and 15 from a prior committment, the older they get the better they get along. Pretty soon they will be ganging up on me and momma to try and get what they want-ain't toghetherness wonderful? /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  9. ugly

    ugly 1/2 ton status

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    my brother Jack and I are from the 1st marriage, and we are 19 years older than the kids from the 3rd marriage. Pete and Stefania are brother and sister not step-brother/sister.

    It will be a good thing!
     
  10. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I'm not in the same shoes, but I do have a step daughter. We try to make sure she sees my two kids are her brother and sister, not anything less or more distantly related.
    Best I can say has already been said; include them in the excitement, and even if this baby is through a different mom, it's still thier blood.
     
  11. cybrfire

    cybrfire 1 ton status Vendor GMOTM Winner

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    I have two boys from a previous marriage. Ages 12 and 10. I have been remarried for 5 years and now have a 1 year old boy. The two older boys just love him to death. They do nothing but play with him every chance they get. Peek a boo around the corners and things like that. It's a real hoot to watch them together. It took my wife some time to convince me having another child was a good idea but in the end I gave in and sure am happy I did. What a feeling to have that little guy around. Speaking of which he's pulling on the powercord and reaching for the mouse on my laptop right now!!! I say go for it.
     
  12. Skigirl

    Skigirl 1/2 ton status

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    My mom remarried when I was 10, then had 2 kids with the new hubby, one was 10 years younger and the other was 14 years younger than me. It was awesome. I was very involved with both of them - taught the boy to play ball, taught him to ski. Took both of them with me places. It was almost like they were my own kids in a way - and then after I had fun and hung out with them I could give 'em back to mom for the not fun stuff. It was never ever a problem.
     
  13. justwhatido

    justwhatido 1/2 ton status

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    I had three when I married my wife. When she became "with child" the first thing we did was eliminate the term "step" as in stepmom, step dad and we eliminated the term "half"

    We have a wonderfully blended family. It's really great. /forums/images/graemlins/pimp1.gif
     
  14. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

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    the only advice I can give you is don't force the oldest into helping out with the baby. my youngest half brother is 10 yrs. younger than me and I was made, not asked, to help out, it became a chore instead of a helping me and him bond. I had to spend every minutes with him, change his diapers, help give him a bath, feed him once he got a certain age, and sleep with him and we all know what happens when trying to potty train them, hell, I even helped out with that. this was all while I was trying to grow up. during the summer when school was out, I had to help watch him with my grandmother, if I left to go to the library, my parents made me take him. I didn't have time for friends or for myself. seems when he wanted something, I was suppose to be at his beckon call. on top of that, he could hit me and my full bloded brother and we couldn't do anything back. they always took his side no matter what. one time, I tried to keep him from throwing a ball in the house, he would cry, I'd get chewed out because he was crying, gave him the ball back, he threw it and broke a figurine and I got chewed out for it, even though I tried to prevent it earlier. make sure you treat him as an equal along with the oldest children and be fair to all of them.

    sorry, just how it was for me. now, we talk but we aren't close. I see him maybe once a month passing on the street and that's it except during the holidays.
     

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