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Asylum!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by southernspeed, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    This is an email 'joke' doing the rounds over here at the moment.......

    unfortunately it's more reality than joke!:(

    HIJACK A PLANE - WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE
    Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's programme features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:

    Hijack an airliner and win a council house

    We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport,
    and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

    Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner
    airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.

    Only this week 140 members of the Taleban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
    They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain. Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire.

    If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counselors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.

    Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...
    COME ON DOWN!

    Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go straight to Britain. And you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Roll up,roll up my friends for the game that never ends.

    Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'


     
  2. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    That sounds pretty ****ty.

    If I were to take action against the US government, then try to seek asylum in Britain, I don't think it would go over so well...
     
  3. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Yeah if you're a decent, intelligent hard working person you'd get laughed at if you asked for asylum just because you'd try to bring down your government.
    But if you're a low down, theiving, dirt bag you can get a house, car, colour tv and more in benefits than I can make in a year...and you can bring your extended family with you!
    Pisses me off. (pardon my french)
     
  4. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    :thinking: So how much is £180 a week? I wonder.......:D
     
  5. tomseviltwin

    tomseviltwin 1/2 ton status

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    Around $350
     
  6. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Yeah and I'm paying for these leeches and they have more rights than me in my own country.

    Sense a hint of bitterness in my tone? Damn right.
     
  7. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

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    That reminds me of the New Orleans Katrina thing. BTW I like the Brit's colourful way of spelling some things.:wink1:
     
  8. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    The only difference is that most of them were indigenous leeches.;)
     
  9. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

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    Yeah, I gues paying for your own leeches are a little different from imported leeches.:D
     

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