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at the gates

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Oct 8, 2002.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    Three men approached the gate to heaven and as
    there was only one opening left, the gatekeeper said
    that whoever had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter.
    He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied,

    ''Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair
    behind my back and I wanted to find out the truth.
    I came home from work one day to surprise her and catch her in the act.
    When I searched the house I found her in the bathroom.
    The mirror was fogged and she had a towel on but her hair
    wasn't wet, so I knew she wasn't taking a shower.
    I looked all around the house to find the guy.
    I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside.
    I pounded them until he finally let go.
    When he fell he landed in some bushes and
    God must have loved him because he lived, so I threw the
    refrigerator out the window to finish him off.
    After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack.''

    Then the gatekeeper asked the second man how he died. He replied,

    ''Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my
    apartment building. I was riding one of those stationary
    bicycles when the screws gave out and I flew off the side.
    I reached out and caught a window sill, then some idiot
    started pounding on my fingertips. When I fell I landed
    in some bushes and God must have loved me because I lived.
    But then that same idiot threw his
    refrigerator out the window and it crushed me.''

    ''That, too, is horrible,'' said the gate keeper.
    Then he asked the third man the same question.

    His reply was, ''OK, imagine this, I'm naked in a refrigerator...''
     
  2. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    That was really good! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    John
     
  4. BowtieBlazer

    BowtieBlazer 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. delta9blazer

    delta9blazer 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Northern California, over by 7-11
    guy dies, and goes to heaven. St Peter is telling him that if he can give one example of how he made a difference in someone's life, he can come into heaven.
    so the guy says "what about the time i saw a biker gang messing with a woman? i walked up to the biggest, meanest one there, and told him that i thought he was a pussy for bothering her. i told him that he should be ashamed of himself, and then i kicked him square in the balls."
    St Peter is frantically looking through his records, but can find no such incident in this man's life.
    "when did this happen?" asked St Peter.
    "about five minutes ago." replies the man.
     

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