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Attorney Hunting Guidelines

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by cbbr, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 17, 2004
    Likes Received:
    High velocity, Low altitude
    >1.) Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest
    >2.) The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The
    >use of currency as bait is prohibited.
    >3.) The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If
    >accidentally struck, remove roadkill to roadside, then proceed to
    >nearest car wash.
    >4.) It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a
    >helicopter or other aircraft.
    >5.) It shall be unlawful to shout, "whiplash," "ambulance!" or, "Free
    >Liquor!" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
    >6.) It shall be unlawful to use controlled substances, single malt
    >scotch, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract
    >7.) It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
    >whorehouses, cardiac rehab centers, ambulances, hospitals or bars across
    >from the courthouse.
    >8.) If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500
    >bounty on the pelt.
    >9.) Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department
    >inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases.
    >10.) It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter,
    >drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or
    >tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys.
    >Silverbacked Millionaire = 1 (in possession)
    >Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder! = 5
    >Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7
    >Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12
    >Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20
    >Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50
    >Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit
    >Intellectual Property or intellectual anything = (rare) protected
    >Honest Attorney = Extinct

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