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Bad Day

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 84blazin, Jan 4, 2006.

  1. 84blazin

    84blazin 1/2 ton status

    Nov 9, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Queen Creek AZ
    This is one funny letter I found:

    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
    week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
    lately at work, so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
    you realize it's Not so bad after all.

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
    a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
    bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

    This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
    warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This
    20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
    it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
    through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

    Now this sounds like a pretty good plan, and I've used it several
    times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
    start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
    wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
    working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

    Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
    from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had

    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
    stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
    the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
    supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
    unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were
    all laughing hysterically.

    Needless to say I aborted the dive.

    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
    totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
    my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
    wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
    running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
    on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because
    my butt was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
    worse it would be if you had a jellyfish on your butt. Now repeat to
    yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
  2. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

    Apr 22, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Centralia, Washington

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