A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. "Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat, or your ass is TOAST!" The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it... and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday.