Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Baked Beans

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Aug 3, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
    Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."

    So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

    Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

    On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

    Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

    He then went to answer the phone.

    The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

    Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

    She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

    At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!

    There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
     
  2. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Everywhere
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif I've read that befor, but it's still funny. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Posts:
    2,279
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington State
    /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif How embarrassing.... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2002
    Posts:
    5,236
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. MRBIGBLOCK

    MRBIGBLOCK 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2001
    Posts:
    472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    paragould arkansas
    kinda sounds like the ole fartman would like her!
     
  6. COCHEV

    COCHEV 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2002
    Posts:
    4,055
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Washougal WA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
    20,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2002
    Posts:
    4,423
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California, The Blow Me State

Share This Page