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Best idiot encounter stories?

Discussion in 'The Garage' started by GMslave, Dec 4, 2002.

  1. GMslave

    GMslave 1/2 ton status

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    For some reason, I tend to attract idiots who seek me out to tell me their adventures/experiences/qualifications/performance "facts"/ you name it. I know some of you suffer as I do, so let's hear em. Here's a non-truck related one from my car days.....A guy is asking me about my GTO, but I knew he was itching to tell me about something. So he proceeds to tell me about a '68 Firebird (with a two barrel 400) that would take off so hard it would pull the front tires 2ft off the ground. Which, I guess is possible , but then he proceeds to tell me that the SAME car had so much power, it would roast the tires at 80 mph if he just stomped the gas. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif.... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif...... /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif....... /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif....... /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif.......... /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  2. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Best idiot encounter stories?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Everytime I drive on Long Island.


    I had a guy once with an S10 I was looking at tell me the knocking rod would go away if I just drove it hard... "Every time I punch it the noise goes away"... I think that was because the exhaust leaks became extremely pronounced and overpowered the sound of the knock...
     
  3. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    what year goat do you have?
     
  4. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    So many idiots, so little time to talk about them...

    I just want to know why no one knows how to work a four way stop. And why doesn't anyone know how to use a blinker? And how the heck are you supposed to drive safely when you are on the cell phone while reading a newspaper and steering with your knee? And here's the best. I love it when a highway patrol unit shows up on the freeway and no one will pass it. Even if he's driving under the speed limit! Wimps!

    Have you ever noticed this one? When a woman sees a cop on the side of the road handing out a ticket and obviously too busy to jump in his car and pull her over what does she do? SHE STANDS ON THE BRAKES! A man will realize he's too busy and speed up.

    What's up with left turns continuing long after the left arrow has turned RED? One of these days I'm just gonna pull out there and hit somebody. Boy is my neck gonna hurt!

    You ever see moms standing on the corner waiting for the walk light to turn green with the baby in the stroller but out in the street? Maybe strollers should be tow-behind instead of push from the rear.
     
  5. bad_bo_ti

    bad_bo_ti 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    And here's the best. I love it when a highway patrol unit shows up on the freeway and no one will pass it. Even if he's driving under the speed limit! Wimps!


    [/ QUOTE ]
    actually if he is going under the speed limit i will normally pass him!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    heres one i havent figured out yet, every since i was able to drive and drove my blazer /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gif (had 4in lift with 33s) and even now that i drive my 93 chevy with 35s /forums/images/graemlins/truck.gif, i have noticed people on side streets that have alot of time to pull out it front of me normaly wait till i could hit them!!!! also same note with side streets when driving on them i have noticed alot of people like to stop at the stop signs in the middle of the road, kidda hard for a 7foot wide truck to fit through a 5 foot wide spot!!!!! bunch of idiots!!!!
     
  6. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Just a few weeks ago when I was on I75 coming back from Rebel Run in Ocala the wind was close to the worst I ever encountered and the Blazer was blowing all over the place, it seemed like every car that passed me HAD to swerve over for a closer look at PI. (prob. trying to figure out what a Blazer w/ 11 inches of lift and 38s was even doing on the interstate! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif) Im having a hell of a time holding to 1 lane as it was then all these morons feel compelled to swerve in on me.
     
  7. balzackks84

    balzackks84 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    When people do stuff like that to me i head straight for them then lock the brakes up and make a big scene about it. If its a popular intersection, and you do happen to nudge them, its not your fault.
     
  8. 4x4Freak

    4x4Freak 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    the knocking rod would go away if I just drove it hard

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Yep, the rod will go away right through the oil pan. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I hate the people that dont seem to know what a YIELD sign means. People always pull out while there's another car coming down the off ramp. Then, of course, there's the dumba$$es that think there 2wd will go through the sand dunes. And the ones that sit through a green light that lasts two seconds.

    I used to work at autozone, I was always surrounded by idiots, customers and employees.
     
  9. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Best idiot encounter stories?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Everybody who posts and replies in the 'non-4x4' forum, including me!!! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. Swanson52

    Swanson52 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    I used to work at autozone, I was always surrounded by idiots, customers and employees.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Amen to that. Used to work at Western Auto (now Advance). I heard some fawkin stories in that place.... /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  11. Swanson52

    Swanson52 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Everybody who posts and replies in the 'non-4x4' forum, including me!!!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Except me. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
     
  12. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    You want auto/truck related or just general? I work a repair shop for Cingular, Stupid people is an hourly thing here.
    Some of my all time favorites
    "I don't get a dial tone"
    "I just keep it in my glovebox and needed to use it today and it wont come on" then find out it's been in the glovebox since June.
    "I don't know what I did but everyting is in Gibberish". "No it's not Giberish, it's aribic, you changed the language prefferences" (in the last hour). "You really should read your owners manual."
    "It won't ring" (Phone clearly says "SILENT" on the display mind you).
    "Phone wont ring." I call it 10 times in a row and it rings every time. Hand it back to the lady. She turns it off and sticks it in her purse. I pointed out it needs to be ON too ring. Her comment was "but it runs the battery down if I leave it on all the time". (Give me the phone your too stupid to own it)
    "Wont come on" Open it up and it's all corroded from being wet. "Sorry its fried it got wet." "You mean it's not water proof?" yeah and so is your TV, Why don't you go pour a pitcher of water in it to clean it out. It works best to leave it plugged in and to stick a wire coat hanger in the back and hold onto it as you pour the water. It clenses (the gene pool) better that way.
    "I get a lot of fast busy's and dropped calls." Antenna has been worked over by a rabbid ardvark. "It will be $13 for a new antenna." "that's not covered by warrany?" "Uhhh No it's not." If you pounded on the hood of your car with a sledge hammer do you think the dealer would cover that as a warranty?
    Stupid people is a way of life for me.
     
  13. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

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    Do some Help Desk work. Oh God. I cant believe that people can go through college but cant turn on a computer. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  14. GMslave

    GMslave 1/2 ton status

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    Actually, I was more referring to car/truck stories. Things like "It's got the biggest cam they make." , but it sounds like some of you poor bastards have it worse than I do.
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    what year goat do you have?


    [/ QUOTE ]
    I HAD a 68, but I sold it last year or so. Kind of a long story, but the quick version is, I had it in the garage for about two years, finally decided to put some more money into it and drive it. About $$1500. later worth of goodies, a valve let go and took out #5 combustion chamber.

    Here's another classic " I used to put a hundred dollar bill on the dashboard and tell them 'If you can grab it, it's yours'"
     
  15. reddog64

    reddog64 1/2 ton status

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    Landmasher pretty much summed up all my little b!tches and idiot stories...

    I love it when people cut you off so bad you have to swerve and they have no idea they did it, so you give them a dirt look and they get pissed at you!

    AAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  16. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    Ah, 68/69 is my fav!!!!!!
     
  17. GMslave

    GMslave 1/2 ton status

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    It was a nice car, I just could'nt take it any more. For the amount of fun I had in it per dollar spent, I'll take my truck. Some kids mommy bought it for him, I don't even want to know what it looks like now.
     
  18. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    A couple quotes from my cousin (who works at an engine shop).

    After my friend drove through a small mud hole:

    "Looks like most of his power is on the driver's side".

    I didnt say anything in reply.




    When we were ready to fire up a new motor in my friend's Suburban:

    "You'd have to advance it (timing) for it to run, wouldn't you?"

    I tried after he said that to explain the concepts of advancing and retarding the distributor. I found that the word "retard" applied to more than timing that night.
     
  19. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    My favorite is:

    It's got a 3/4 race cam

    So it's a cam designed to run for 3/4 of a race?? /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

    Then there was the guy at a place I used to work at that had a 5.0 liter Mustang. With an un-rebuilt stock motor, 9" wide tires (not slicks) and a 150 shot NOS kit "it should do 9's" /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I asked what gears and stuff he was running and he had no clue.

    The other good one is the guy who claims his truck will go anywhere and "I've never been stuck"...generally when you use the word anywhere it means "anywhere", not anywhere there is pavement. If you haven't been stuck you haven't been wheeling. Even better is to take this guy wheeling...

    Rene
     
  20. balzackks84

    balzackks84 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    buddy sat in my blazer when i first bought it and says "Whats it got, a 351?" and i just walked away.

    I work at an auto parts store so you get the usual stuff but one guy pissed me off. He came in with a hold down spring from a rear shoe, puts it on the counter and says i want this. So i go for the usual, year, make, model. He looks at me, turns beat red, and starts tearing into me. "You dont know what this is!" "you dont need to know the car they're all the same, you should have a bubble pack out here!" Then he goes on to say that management doesnt put enough time into training people. This guy was IRATE about it. He was yelling and screeming. Another customer had to ask him to shut up. This guy was so set on all American car parts being the same I was about to go grab some random [censored] and throw it at him. And yes there is a difference between a Plymoth Voyager and a Chev 1 ton 4x4.

    A kid i know has a 65 mustang and swears up and down its a 10 second car. Hes never raced it, its a DD, has relatively skinny tires, normally asarated, cherry bombs, just ghetto. No matter what anyone tells him as long as he doesnt run it its a 10 second car.
     

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