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Blonde Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by blazen91, May 3, 2002.

  1. blazen91

    blazen91 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Hesperia, Ca 92345
    EXPOSURE
    > >A blonde is walking down the street
    > > with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
    > >A policeman approaches her and says,
    > > "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
    > > She says, "Why, officer?"
    > > "Because your breast is hanging out."
    > > She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
    > >
    > >FINAL EXAM
    > >The blonde reported for her
    > > university final examination that
    > > consists of "yes/no" type questions.
    > >She takes her seat in the examination hall,
    > > stares at the question paper for five minutes, and
    > > then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out,
    > > removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer
    > > sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails.
    > >Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the
    > > rest of the class is sweating it out.
    > >During the last few minutes,
    > > she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
    > >The moderator, alarmed,
    > > approaches her and asks what is going on.
    > >"I finished the exam in half an hour,
    > >but I'm rechecking my answers."
    > >
    > > _____________________
    > >THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
    > > There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles
    > >so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.
    > > She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy,
    > >took him behind a tree and wrote this note.
    > > "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a
    > > plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M.
    > > Signed, The Blonde"
    > > She pinned the note inside the little boy's
    > > jacket and told him to go straight home.
    > >The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
    > > $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree,
    > > just as she had instructed.
    > >Inside the bag was the following note...
    > >"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do
    > > this to another!"
    > >
    > >SPEEDING TICKET
    > >A police officer stops a blondefor speeding and asks
    > > her very nicely if he could see her license.
    > >She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would
    > >get your act together.
    > > Just yesterday you take away my license and then
    > > today you expect me to show it to you!"
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    OK let me just start off by saying BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
    new to me...
     
  3. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    The bad part is that I know some blondes like these
     
  4. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    LMAO.. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif
     
  5. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    Location:
    Atlanta
    Ok I got one. In very poor taste.

    Cop is on patrol. See's a car weaving. Pulls it over figuring he has a drunk.
    Blond driver.
    Askes for License. Blond gets a puzzled look on her face and asks "What's that?"
    The copp is thinking Ohh yeah I got a winner her. He explains " It's a card with your picture on it that says you can drive." She digs through her purse and finds her license.
    He asks for her registration. Again he gets' the puzzled look and she ask "what's that?"
    He's thinking to himself my good how dumb can she be? He explains. She digs through her glove box and finds the registration.
    He ask's her for her proof of Insurance. Yep again she doesn't kow what it is.
    He's thinking She's really hot. She's really dumb and I'm really horney. He goes on to explain That he needs the card that shows that the car is insured.
    She starts digging through the glovebox.
    Cop gets to thinking how dumb she is and starts to unzip his fly.
    Blond hears the zipper and turns to see he's pulling out his Johnny Law.
    She looks up to him and say's "Not another breathalizer test!"
     
  6. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. weisel

    weisel 1/2 ton status

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    Good stuff!

    How about this one.
    A blond tired of all the blond steriotyping dies her hair brown and moves to a new city to start over as a brunette. While drivig home from work one day she spotts a blond rowing a boat in the middle of a field. She pulls over, getts out of her car to chew out the blond, "You are so stupid! It is because of blonds like you that give me a bad name and if I could swim, I would come out there and kick your a$$!"
     
  8. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    A woman walks into a doctors office, when seen by the doc, she explains it hurts when I touch my elbow, it hurts when I touch my chest, it hurts when I touch my knees, and it hurts when I touch my forehead. The doctor does his thing, starts to shake his head, and askes her if her hair has always been blonde. She states she doesn't see what that has to do with anything and the doctor explains to her that her fingers are broken !!!!
     

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