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Blowjobs

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, May 6, 2003.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    WHAT A GIRL HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT



    1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

    2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

    3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

    4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

    5. My ears are NOT handles.

    6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

    7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

    8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like [censored] so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

    9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

    10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

    11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

    12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

    13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
    the protein content.

    14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.


    15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

    16.... Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning."




    WHAT A MAN HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT



    1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

    2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier
    than licking a dead fish.

    3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

    4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

    5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!

    6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. Trust me.

    7.... You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.

    8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

    9. Play with the balls.

    10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

    11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

    12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep."

    13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
     
  2. FatBoyBlazer

    FatBoyBlazer 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Worcester, MA
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  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    I see headers in your future.... /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Centennial, CO
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  5. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    portland oregon
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  6. balzackks84

    balzackks84 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
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    Location:
    portland, oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I see some pretty damn good sig lines in there.
     
  7. Okiemuddog

    Okiemuddog 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Guthrie, Oklahoma
    Tazz,
    I think you have out done yourself this time. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. TXsizeK5

    TXsizeK5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    College Station, TX
    [ QUOTE ]
    I think you have out done yourself this time

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Naw, he's just trying to get ahead of the game /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. Bhintz

    Bhintz 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Roswell, Ga
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