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Bluebies post up...membership give away*** results are in!!!***

Discussion in 'The Garage' started by tRustyK5, Mar 26, 2003.

  1. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    I have a $25 membership for the most amusing broke bluebie story. Don't depress me...make me laugh and you could be Orange. Feel free to play fast and loose with the truth.../forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    The funds are going in the mail tonight and I'll pick a winner (not whiner...;)) on Friday before lunch.

    Rene
     
  2. RATAH

    RATAH 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    TTT
     
  3. 4x4dreamer

    4x4dreamer 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    I blew most of my money on P***Y and Beer!!! Then my hamster needed a vasectomy, and who am I to say "no" to a little hamster who just wants to have a good time. So after the operation I hooked him up with a pint of Tequila and Guinea Pig (he likes 'em big) and he went to town. Well, as it turns out, a pint is WAY too much Tequila for a hamster and he couldn't....uh...perform, so I had to get him some Viagra. Well...a whole Viagra for a hamster the size of my hand...too much again. Now the little guy is stiff as a board...from head to toe, and I'm not sure what to do with him. I'm afraid to touch him cuz he's got that look in his eye /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif . So, I've got this Post-op hamster, bombed on Tequila, and feeling VERY Friendly..what's a guy to do? Well, the only logical thing I could think of was shock therapy. So, I cut up some jumper cables, hooked one to his nose and one to his n*ts, and lit his little A$$ up. Well, that blew every fuse in my truck...and started a little fire (but it did put a bit of a smile on his little face...still trying to figure that one out), so now i have to buy new fuses, pay for the vasectomy, new jumper cables, pay off the viagra prescription, I'm down a pint of Tequila, my hamster is still smoldering, and he's trying to hump the dog. Thank god he got the vasectomy.

    that's the best I could do on short notice and it's time to go home. VOTE FOR ME!!!
     
  4. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    <font color="green"> Wow, that was creative! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I'm waiting for Rezzy Joe to post on this one, he'll surely have something from WAY out in left feild. /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif </font>
     
  5. JDBlazer454

    JDBlazer454 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    I just bought blazer #6, 83 k5, and in order to get it running I have spent close to $500 on parts only to find out today that the timing chain is busted and will need a new motor. Its a custom truck and finding parts for it have been a chore. It has a 1968 Caddy 472 and I just went out and bought a 1971 Caddy with a fresh 472 in it for $100 for the motor and parts. I have spent including the purchase of the truck over $2000. I now have this land yatch in my driveway that is longer then my house, its a sweet pimpin' ride /forums/images/graemlins/pimp1.gif

    I have always wanted to become a member but due to my stupidity and buying a morphadite truck that is nickel and diming me I can't afford it yet. That and I feel you need more chicks on this sight, like me /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif Please don't make me beg.
     
  6. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    HOLY CRAP! I was litterally LMAO! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Eric you need help man. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. Okiemuddog

    Okiemuddog 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Eric,
    Man that was definetly creative. You are most assuredly F-ed up in the head, but I lmao. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif That is going to be hard to beat. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  8. LKJR

    LKJR 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    I'm not even gonna try to compete with that one LMAO. that wuz funny
     
  9. Bullet

    Bullet 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Hey Rene, what about me? Sorry, I dont have an amusing story, but /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gifI'm sure that picture that you saw of me with a bald head was amusing... How many CK5ers have you met from Texas in person that aren't members now? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif












    /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
     
  10. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Okay, we want pics of your badass hamster. Or atleast paint one (Life size) on your quator panels.
     
  11. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Maybe you should post the pic Matt /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif You could always fabricate a story to go with the hair cut/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    Rene
     
  12. Sample

    Sample 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    My wife spends all of our money on useless crap. We always have to fly my mother in law in, that's always fun. The tranny went out in the K5, had to get a 400/203 combo. All credit cards are maxed out. Daycare costs too much. And I drive a Jeep everyday.
     
  13. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    [ QUOTE ]
    I drive a Jeep everyday

    [/ QUOTE ] Heaven Forbid !!!!!
     
  14. Blaze

    Blaze 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    How about this:

    I spent $8000 on a Yukon that I have to spend at least $300 a month fixing stuff. I live in an apartment and have to spend $50 a month for storage on cars and parts. I'm getting ready to buy a house and only have $3000 for a downpayment. My wife is going back to school and I have to pay for everything on my measly salary. EITHER GIVE ME A MEMBERSHIP OR GIVE ME A BETTER PAYING JOB! I BEG OF YOU! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  15. 4x4dreamer

    4x4dreamer 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Just another day at work. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    I swear, I can do better, I just need more time.
     
  16. badgravity

    badgravity Registered Member

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    I bought my 84 sub past year for 6100 $ /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
    drowe it like 4 months and have done rust repairs
    since /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
    not so funny story but i'm sure it makes You feel good /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
    ( not so cheap to own a Chevy in Europe )
     
  17. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    OMG!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gifThat is definately going to be a tough story for anybody to compete with.
     
  18. BowtieGuy3

    BowtieGuy3 Guest

    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    Well one time...
    The owner/Driver of the racecar I work on, and myself decided to take a trip down to Alabammy to have fun at Talladega, even though we had just enuff cash for beer and infield tix. Well, it was a crappy weekend due to all the damn rain and delays, and we took turns sleeping on/in the Jeep every few hours thru the night.
    Well, we saw some local good ol' boys down there screwin around in a HUGE mud puddle in the infield on Saturday, so we figured we'd join them. After about 1/2 hour of acting like idiots, we get surrounded by cops (Little did we know the Southern cops don't have much tolerance for us Yankee boys.). So, he goes to jail. Spends the next 12 hours there. I get about 3 tickets for various crap, and worst of all, they took our beer. We'll after everything got settled, we were so poor, we were rationing a bag of Doritos, a bag of corn chips, and siphoning gas from cars at hotels to make it back home to Chicago.
    Now That's F*cking Poor. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  19. DesertDueler

    DesertDueler 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    How about got layed off twice within a year, built and rolled my jimmy aboiut a year ago,buy and build a suburban, then my suburban getting stolen. I put all my money into that burb with the new motor, tranny axles, and tires. Then some a-hole steals it and takes everything including the factory gauges and dash pad. But they left me the steering wheel and a broken column so I can steer, but took the drivetrain and brakes so I cant drive or stop . Now I have to try and get another one while the insurance is taking there sweet time. So that is why I am broke.

    Dan
     
  20. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Bluebies post up...membership give away

    There I was, surfing the beanie ring at 300KTS, INVERTED, below the treeline at about 6ft of altitude, and Captain Morgan in the pilot's seat says to me, "Hey Mo, betcha can't shoot the straw hat off that dude's head with your pistol!". Now dude's over 200yds away and getting further each second (we're at 300KTS you know...), but hey, a challenge from the pilots is always good for a story or two. So I pull my (t)rusty Beretta 92 from my tooled-leather-and-olive-drab-nylon crossdraw low-ride thigh holster (with magazine pouch and cleaning rod) and proceed to spin dude's hat like a top with my first 7 rounds. Did I mention that the beanie ring I'm surfing on is spinning at 180rpm, therefore spinning me around at 180rpm? No?? Oh, well it is. So by now we're like 800yds away and the Captain is so impressed by my skills as a pistolero that he decides to pull an outside loop to get a better view of the action. Now an outside loop's a pretty cool maneuver when executed correctly, except for a couple tiny details, like the fact that helicopters aren't supposed to do outside loops... or fly inverted, for that matter. Something about "laws of physics" or some other voodoo like that. But we're Marines, dammit, and we'll decide what laws we'll be following on any given day, thank you very much! So anyhoo, the good Captain whips us into this outside loop from 300KTS inverted, which puts a pretty hefty strain on me, seeing as how I'm surfing this beanie ring that's spinning at 180rpm, and I'm on the outside of this (supposedly impossible) maneuver. Plus, there's the 300KT windblast to deal with. So we finally push out of this loop, but now Morgan's mad because we're getting closer to dude instead of farther, thereby making my task of removing dude's hat a little easier. So he gets agitated and whips us into an uncoordinated 9-G left turn (again, the voodoo physics "laws" say we rotorheads can't pull 9-G's, but whoever lets these "laws of physics" rule their existence is a pushover...) so now I've got to time my shots at dude's hat through the 7 main rotor blades that are spinning at 180rpm, therefore giving me 21 opportunities per second to pop dude's hat off his head, without harming said head. Did I mention that helicopter rotor blades generally don't like to be hit by bullets fired from mere feet away? No?? Well, they don't. Especially when you're traveling at twice the speed the helicopter's supposed to do (again this physics voodoo. When will this physics crap be recognized for the farce it really is?!?). So there I was, spinning 3 times each second, 300KTS of wind blowing me around, weighing 9 times my normal weight, and sending all 15 rounds in each magazine at dude's straw hat in about 2/3 second and changing mags in that otherwise-wasted remaining 1/3 second, when my roomate kicked me in the a$$ and told me to put down the Mad Dog and go buy some good booze, because the cheap stuff can cause some pretty wicked hallucinations and delusions. Little does he know that since the good old Marine Corps has decided they don't need to pay me, I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD DECENT BOOZE TO DRINK MY TROUBLES AWAY!!




    I don't know if that will qualify as "amusing" or not. Maybe if the contest was for "strangest rambling topic" I could win...
     

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