Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Booty call, contract!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ntaj*ep, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Posts:
    3,248
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Evergreen state
    A friend of mine(of the female perswasion) sent this to me. Should I be worried? /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
    The Booty Call Agreement

    This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the
    "Agreement")
    is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002,
    by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

    THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

    1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
    in the morning.

    2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
    of the
    evening.

    3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have sh!t to talk about.

    4. None of that "lovemaking" sh!t - only sex allowed.

    5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
    you
    love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.

    6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
    unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced
    arrangement.

    7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

    8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

    9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
    your
    damn business.

    10. No calling each other "friends with benefits" we are not friends,
    just
    sex buddies.

    11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

    12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
    when
    you leave.

    13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass
    up, get dressed and go home.

    14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't
    care.

    15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

    16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
    roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

    17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
    contact the better.

    19. No condoms, no sex. Carry your ass home.

    20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

    21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for
    your
    ass.

    * EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

    The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
    agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of
    this
    Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then
    be
    removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and
    email
    list. In other words, you
    will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass
    understands the
    rules.

    Participating Party
    Signature __________________________
    Date: ________________
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Whats she look like.... /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    May 4, 2001
    Posts:
    3,384
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hollister, CA
    Sounds like an offer to me
     
  4. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2002
    Posts:
    6,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Black Diamond, Wa
    ha ha, thats funny /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
     
  5. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Posts:
    3,248
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Evergreen state
    We have gone out a few times. It's kinda scary, she has the same sence of humor as me! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gifI'm not real used to that. I'm usually the only one laughing. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    But this is the first E-mail from her. She is quite attractive.......
     
  6. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Posts:
    6,737
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Banos, CA
    <font color="green"> I say you print it out, sign it, scan it, and send it right back to her. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif </font color>
     
  7. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Posts:
    3,248
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Evergreen state
    Maybe I'll do one better and not say a word about it. Next time I see her I'll slip a signed copy into her purse! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Oh boy I do crack myself up!
    OH wait, what if she takes that the wrong way...........nnaaaaaa! To funny not to do! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  8. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Goat for it dood.....Just post a pic of her so I can imagine your hairy little monkey body humpin up on her.....
    Oh sh!t I'm laughin so hard right now I'm crying /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Damn I crackedre myself up, I'm sick and definately going to hell.... /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  9. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Posts:
    3,248
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Evergreen state
    I don't do that with just any body you know! So feel privlaged, you ding dong!
    Gawd damn, you are sick. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
    I already showed her the asian adolesant girl hands, so I'm half way there. Not a man whore though. /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gifyet......
     
  10. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    1,565
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Centennial, CO
    Id say sign it and send it back!
     
  11. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2000
    Posts:
    15,552
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    Cochrane, Alberta, Canada
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    OH wait, what if she takes that the wrong way..

    [/ QUOTE ]

    If she's the kind of gal who will send you a booty contract, I HIGHLY DOUBT she'll be offended if you play along, even if it was just a joke.

    And if it's not a joke......... /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  12. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Monkey love, monkey love, monkey love, Aaron's gonna get some monkey love...... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  13. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Posts:
    3,248
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Evergreen state
    /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     

Share This Page