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Bubba Claus

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by NoAngel, Dec 9, 2002.

  1. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    To: All Concerned

    From: Santa Claus

    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Virginia, West Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Arkansas and the panhandle of Florida on Christmas Eve.

    Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies & Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin,
    Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us and I didn't want any residents of the affected
    states to be taken by surprise.
    These differences include:

    1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These Toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

    2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave Coors light and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't Smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

    3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

    4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

    5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

    6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

    7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally...

    8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Santa Claus.
     
  2. fulltopblazer

    fulltopblazer 1/2 ton status

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    We need a pic of ole bubba clause /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. ChevyDrivnRdneck

    ChevyDrivnRdneck 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. BranndonC

    BranndonC 3/4 ton status

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    This is the best i could do for now [​IMG] /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Bubba Claus has been spotted in a local restaurant:

    [​IMG]
     
  6. 502 4x4

    502 4x4 1/2 ton status

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    A VERY rare photograph of the REAL "Bubba Claus". /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif


    [​IMG]

    <font color="blue">The Phantom Chopper </font color> /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. ChevyDrivnRdneck

    ChevyDrivnRdneck 1/2 ton status

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    Now that's scary!!!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  8. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    ... you left out Kentucky! /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
     
  9. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    DAMN your good!!!!!
     
  10. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

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    OMG... that's too funny... good thing I never came across that pic as a child... I woulda had a nightmare /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  11. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Ah yes, that is in fact the real Bubba Claus. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  12. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    &lt;--- Very glad they left out Kentucky! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  13. 87Blazerlady

    87Blazerlady 1/2 ton status

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    That's a really good one, and like your chopper signature, too. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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