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Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it's great!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Dec 9, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

    Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract has been renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, which happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

    Differences such as:

    1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

    2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

    3. Bubba Claus's sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

    4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

    5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I heard dat!"

    6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus's sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

    7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your Negotiated Viewing Area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

    And finally,

    8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.


    Sincerely Yours,

    Santa Claus
     
  2. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great! *DELETED*

    <font color="green"> OK, that's 3 times so far... /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif </font color>
     
  3. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    <font color="green"> <FORM METHOD=POST ACTION="http://coloradok5.com/forums/dopoll.php"><INPUT TYPE=HIDDEN NAME="pollname" VALUE="1039484671Shaggy">


    How many more times will this be posted before Christmas?

    <input type="radio" name="option" value="1" />1-2 more times
    <input type="radio" name="option" value="2" />3-5 more times
    <input type="radio" name="option" value="3" />more than 5 times

    /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif </font color>
     
  4. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    OK, that's 3 so far in a week.



    [/ QUOTE ]

    Of what...my joke threads? How many are we limited to per week? /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    <font color="green"> No, three times this same story has been posted in about as many days. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif </font color>
     
  6. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    Ohhhhhhh. It's been posted before? /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
     
  7. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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  8. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    Ah, don't worry Wes, it's always a good read. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    Oh well, not even I read all the threads in the non-4x4 forum. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  10. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Bubba Ray Beaudreax....read this, it\'s great!

    I don't either.
     

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