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BUBBA RAY FOUGHT THE FORD, AND BUBBA RAY WON!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Aug 22, 2002.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    BUBBA RAY FOUGHT THE FORD, AND BUBBA RAY WON!!!
    Just had to get that out of my system before I start a new story entitled, "Bubba Ray's Adventures on State Route 99 International Raceway."

    It was 1536 hours on a Thursday afternoon and Bubba Ray had just left work, on his way home dreaming of the semi-ice cold Diet Pepsi cola he was a sippin and the huge Taco Salad Supreme he was going to demolish for dinner.

    Now poor ole Bubba Ray has to take State Route 99 to and from work everyday for a grand total of 1 hour and 10-30 minutes, but he can tap the cruise control on his highly unmodified stock Honda Accord POS at 80 mph and not worry about Jon and Ponch too much.

    Well, ole Bubba Ray made that left turn onto the on ramp and begin to pick up a head a steam. Bubba Ray likes to match the speed of the freeway traffic, which given time of day and location can be anywhere from 0 to 90 mph.

    Well, the first roadblock Bubba Ray encountered was the vehicle in front of him, but that was nothing but a blip on the radar screen. Then the next roadblock was the Chevy P/U with the trailer blocking the #3 lane, but Bubba Ray just smiled and let that rig go by, even though the a**hole didn't realize the #2 lane was clear. Well, the particular on-ramp ole Bubba Ray picked has less room than a virgin on prom night, so speed, accuracy and cunning is needed in making the right decision at the right time, or people can get seriously killed.

    Well, ole Bubba Ray picked his spot. And not just any spot, not a liver spot, not your dawg Spot, but HIS spot. Right behind the Chevy with the trailer. Well, ole Bubba Ray being the decisive, yet cautious good ole boy that he is, and with the limited area of vision behind him, ole Bubba Ray makes sure that HIS spot is wider than a worn out whore.

    So ole Bubba Ray, in the highly unmodified, stock Honda Accord, seeing he has the all clear starts moving on over to the east side. But low and behold, what has entered the picture but some maroon, piece of yuppie trash Ford Exploder. And this maroon, piece of yuppie trash Ford Exploder has sped up and is attempting to kick ole Bubba Ray out of HIS spot. Ole Bubba Ray, seeing that his is way undersized and sensing that the maroon, piece of yuppie trash Ford Exploder driver is attempting to intimidate him by size. Well any woman, and the list is long and undistiguished, knows that ole Bubba Ray hasn't needed size to make his point known for a coon's age.

    So ole Bubba Ray says to himself, "Bubba Ray," that's what folks call him back home, "Bubba Ray, what did that Australian dude ask a few years ago, 'who's got the biggest balls of them all?'"

    So ole Bubba Ray, already utilizying the left turn signal of the highly unmodified, stock Honda Accord POS, begins using his hand to let the driver of the maroon, pice of yuppie trash Ford Exploder know that ole Bubba Ray's a knocking and the door ain't shut.

    So ole Bubba Ray sacks up and invoking the spirits of past driving legends such as Dale and Davey and Alan, knocks the door down knowing that the driver of the maroon, piece of yuppie trash Ford Exploder ain't got the manhood to trade paint on the State Route 99 International Speedway.

    Moral of the story: Men, if she doesn't resemble AKA the "Texas Tunnel" that appeared in Hustler Magazine's Best of Beaver Hunt, 1990, SIZE DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  2. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Men, if she doesn't resemble AKA the "Texas Tunnel" that appeared in Hustler Magazine's Best of Beaver Hunt, 1990, SIZE DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Bawahahahaha!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!

    One of your better stories dude!/forums/images/icons/cool.gif

    rene
     
  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!! good one /forums/images/icons/smile.gif very entertaining /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  4. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    You have got one hell of a knack for story telling Bubba. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  5. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    ....less room than a virgin on prom night....

    [/ QUOTE ]
    ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!! /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    ....piece of yuppie trash Ford Exploder....

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Took the words right out of my mouth! Right on! /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     
  6. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    good one! one of your better stories. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     
  7. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    That was a dandy Bubba, and having drivin the 99 a few times myself I can totally relate.
     
  8. trailblazer87

    trailblazer87 1/2 ton status

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    What's wrong with the 99, I drive it everyday? Its just bumpy and constantly under construction /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif
     
  9. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    What's wrong with the 99, I drive it everyday?

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Name it. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif Now I know that this would be bad news to me, but CHP needs to camp out on the 99. It's pathetic when I can do 80-85 the whole time, much less getting passed up like I'm sitting still.
     
  10. trailblazer87

    trailblazer87 1/2 ton status

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    That's how I get to work on time /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
    And they are camping out right now, check the on ramps on Ava-18 1/2 in Madera, they sit there where you can't see them until its too late /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
    They are all over the stretch between Kingsburg and Visalia. Mostly DOT duty, but a few SMokies also. A lot of them are tied up with the construction in Fresno right now. I got pulled over the other night on Shaw out by Biola for a tail light that was out in my work Toyota.
    Any other places you want, I've got all their hiding spots found /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  11. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    They are all over the stretch between Kingsburg and Visalia

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Where? That's the stretch of road that I get clear of traffic for the most part. Since I started working in Fresno at the end of April, I can count on both hands how many CHP I've seen on 99.
     
  12. trailblazer87

    trailblazer87 1/2 ton status

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    They start out for donuts between Visalia and Dinuba about 5 am, get a few trucks there and then head over to 99 just south of the texaco just before the river. Every time I drive through I se 4-5 of them sitting in the median, usally hiding under a eucalyptus tree. They seem to be gone by about 10-11 am though. They are back for the afternoon rush though.
     
  13. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    They start out for donuts between Visalia and Dinuba about 5 am, get a few trucks there and then head over to 99 just south of the texaco just before the river. Every time I drive through I se 4-5 of them sitting in the median, usally hiding under a eucalyptus tree. They seem to be gone by about 10-11 am though. They are back for the afternoon rush though.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I must get them at donut time. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif I've only caught them camped out on 99 right before Traver once, and some poor sucker pulling a trailer at about 60 got yanked. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

    The only time I see them in the afternoon, it's always been the same guy and he's always been out with a stranded motorist. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  14. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    <font color="green"> Excellent Bubba, you ought to write for a magazine or something, you got a real knack for it.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Texas Tunnel" that appeared in Hustler Magazine's Best of Beaver Hunt, 1990

    [/ QUOTE ]
    <font color="green">
    I remember that! /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif Talk about throwin a hotdog down a hallway... </font color>
     
  15. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Talk about throwin a hotdog down a hallway..

    [/ QUOTE ]
    ROTFLMAO /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     

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