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Call PETA, Bubba's a Cat Harasser.......................

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Dec 15, 2003.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    And like any good ole yarn spinner from the files of Bubba Ray, I must first post the disclaimer for the newer :cough:padders:cough: of this here forum;
    the following story is factual in all of it's contents and is taken from actual events that happen in my life. So with that, let's kick this thing off like every other story from good ole Bubba Ray...................................

    So there I was, just heard the magical ringy ringy from the "Chow is ready" timer on the kitchen stove. Another fine dining evening of pepperoni pizza. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    Well, I extract the fine Italian (well about the only good thing to come out of that pisshole country besides Sophia Loren) meal out of the oven and place it so gentle like as to not disturb the toppings from their happy, warm place.

    Well, as I dispatched the spatula into the sink, I notice something strangely wrong with the hood of the POS Accord, which is parked right outside the widow. There's this clump of white, animal type stuff on the hood and I start getting /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif wondering if one of those worthless fawkhead felines had deposited their evening meal on my ride.

    Now I don't know about y'all, especially you wus Yankees, but us country folk really don't appreciate having our meals interrupted by some malcontent, and in my case, I have no use for cats; but my dawgs do. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    So I roll out of the front door, not really adhering to the rules of tactical approach, but who gives a [darn]? I stride the two feet off the front step and find out what the clump of fur is. It's a whole cat and nothing but the cat. The thing has a white belly and the rest of it is black, perhaps owned by Michael Jackson.

    Now if I was a cat, I would pick the nice, warm hood to spend a few minutes to examine my eyelids. I pulled in approximately 45 minutes prior, and with air tempatures hovering in the high 40's, I'm sure Mr. Kitty Kong thought he was safe as the door, nor the flip flop noise from my wannabe Victor Charles combat boots had alarmed him.

    So it was time for ole Bubba Ray to slip into jungle bunny mode once again. Using years and years of experience, I became the shadow of the night as I quietly made the last 4.756 feet to the front of the car.

    Well, Mr. Kitty Kong was out like a light and now it was time for ole Bubba Ray to decide how to awaken my new found feline friend. No edged weapons, no firearms and no chemical weapons were on my person at the time, so it was quickly decided that my wannabe Victor Charles combat boots would be improvised into the downfall of Mr. Kitty Kong.

    Using my lightning quick decision skills and the idiocy of the California legislature, I decided that going yard on the front license plate would be the appropriate method.

    So like a ghost, I slipped off the right side footwear and with all my might, oh wait, I'm forgetting a small detail here. I forgot to tell y'all that just one week ago, the hood of the POS Accord received about 2 heavy coats of Meguair's Carnuba Wax. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mr. Kitty Kong quickly awakened from his slomber and jumped to his feet, then he looked back to see the evil doer Bubba Ray standing there. Remember the carnuba wax? Think Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner on ice. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    Mr. Kitty Kong's feet went from 0 to 200mph in about .05 seconds with his body aimed away from me. Problem was that his body was actually sliding down the hood right at me..........

    He finally got traction when he dropped on the concrete and off like a thief in the night, Mr. Kitty Kong was on his way out into the neighborhood wilds to let his heart slow down...................
     
  2. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    haha good job, he will be back tomorrow though
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif


    OMG Bubba, that was too damn funny /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    I have to agree, cats are worthless in my opinion
     
  4. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    that was funny as hell /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    Speaking of cats..when I was 16, me and about 5 of my buds armed with pellet guns would pile into Dad's Galaxy 500 station wagon at zero dark thirty in the morning....ah, never mind....
     
  7. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    i had a friend who built a .22 specially for cat hunting. night vision scope and all. pretty sweet little popgun /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. rick88blaze

    rick88blaze 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    Another fine dining evening of pepperoni pizza.

    Well, I extract the fine Italian (well about the only good thing to come out of that pisshole country besides Sophia Loren)

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Hey Bubba,

    FYI: Pizza originated right here in the GOOD OLE' U.S. OF A.!!! /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/usaflag.gif /forums/images/graemlins/usaflag.gif /forums/images/graemlins/usaflag.gif
     
  9. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    FYI: Pizza originated right here in the GOOD OLE' U.S. OF A.!!!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Quit mucking up the story Air Farce boy [​IMG]
     
  10. HarryH3

    HarryH3 1 ton status Author

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    Dang Bubba! You missed a perfect opportunity to acquire a free meal for another night! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif Like the bumper sticker says:

    "Cat, the other white meat" /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  11. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    You're lucky Kitty Kong didn't attach himself to your face. We took a cat skydiving once and that's exactly what the cat did as soon as we were out the door. We fixed that problem for the next jump by wrapping his wittle feet with duct tape. I'm sure PETA would have had a field day with that one. /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
     
  12. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    You know it's gonna be a good story when it starts out like this, <font color="red">So there I was </font>

    Keep up the good work bubba /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  13. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    I forgot to tell y'all that just one week ago, the hood of the POS Accord received about 2 heavy coats of Meguair's Carnuba Wax.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Why would you wax a Honda...let alone admit doing so here? Were you temporarily 'neuron damaged'? Lose a bet? Get obsessive/Compulsive when drunk? or did some Ricer put a gun to yer head?

    BTW, if you're gonna wax...use the cat to wax the car. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Rene
     
  14. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    I forgot to tell y'all that just one week ago, the hood of the POS Accord received about 2 heavy coats of Meguair's Carnuba Wax.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Why would you wax a Honda...let alone admit doing so here? Were you temporarily 'neuron damaged'? Lose a bet? Get obsessive/Compulsive when drunk? or did some Ricer put a gun to yer head?

    BTW, if you're gonna wax...use the cat to wax the car. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Rene

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Cause that's what I got stuck taking back to NM/OK last week and those little POS engines need all the help they can get.......................Not to mention just in case it snowed. I'm trying to keep it in somewhat good condition so I can a**rap some goofball's wallet when I can get into position to sell the POS.
     
  15. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    so I can a**rap some goofball's wallet

    [/ QUOTE ] yes rap does sound like it comes out someones a**, now, i want to know how you can fit in some guys wallet? /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  16. daleearnhardt01

    daleearnhardt01 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  17. rick88blaze

    rick88blaze 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Call PETA, Bubba\'s a Cat Harasser.......................

    [ QUOTE ]
    Quit mucking up the story Air Farce boy

    [/ QUOTE ]


    BITE ME!!! [​IMG] /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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