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Can someone smart give me some advice

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by sickquad, Jul 15, 2004.

  1. sickquad

    sickquad 1/2 ton status

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    So, I have a major situation on my hands. I am 25 and work my nuts off. Make decent money. I guess since I make good money I don't pay attention to my money as closely as I should. So I just found out my ex-girlfriend has been stealing from me. She has a problem with pills that I never knew about, which is why I made her my ex-girlfriend after 5 years together.

    So this is the problem. I bring home about $550 a week after taxes and stuff. But I now have $25,000 worth of credit card bills since she stole my credit cards. My bank account has been drained down to $1,000. I just called and stopped every account I have.

    So how do I fix this? I'm not pressing charges, that would just be a mess. She also has nothing, I bought her car with cash, she has no job and lives in a sober house. Pressing charges would get me nothing but wasted days of missed work spent in court.

    I pay no rent, since I work it off through maintenance and I have no car payments.

    I have good credit, never had a problem until now. Anyone had to deal with credit card or debt issues before. This is so out of my league. I am very responsible with my money. I paid for college on my own, worked my backside off, now this.

    Just need some advice. I know there are credit agencies out there, but I have no collateral, just my K5 and my T-Bird.

    God I am screwed, I really need some help.

    -Chris
     
  2. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    I would press charges for one reson [ QUOTE ]
    I now have $25,000 worth of credit card bills

    [/ QUOTE ] Most credid card companys have insurence for stolden cards, but you have too be willing too press charges. My view is screw her, she ripped you off, so press charges, it's better then being stuck with her bills !!!!
     
  3. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    Is the car you bought her in your name ? Get it back and sell it , for starters . Why not press charges ? Could make her see the light . Sounds hardass , but you worked for it and she s#%T on you . If you don't pursue that , you will have to consolidate , or call every creditor you have and make payment arrangements . Sorry about your luck , I came back from hell myself and it is a HARD way to go /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gif
     
  4. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    cant you just call them up an say that the cards were stolen and you did not make the charges. (true) don't cc companys cover you aganst at least most of the carges? /forums/images/graemlins/dunno.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/screwy.gif
     
  5. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Sorry, brother, you're gonna have to press charges against her if you want to clear your name with the credit companies. If she is found guilty of theft then you'll have leg to stand on when you have to contest the charges. PHONE THE POLICE RIGHT NOW AND GET AN OFFICER TO FILL OUT A STATEMENT ASAP!!!!

    If you don't, you're basically saying that you are accepting responsibilty for the debt, which means that the credit companies will aggressively seek any way of recouping their losses. That could mean that EVERYTHING you own can be seized, and that any money left in your accounts can be frozen, leaving you with absolutely nothing.

    It's nice of you to be compassionate, but at 25, with all your plans and most of your life ahead of you, you don't need a bankruptcy on your record........
     
  6. jakeslim

    jakeslim 1/2 ton status

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    if you won't press charges, then she's still using you. Gotta come clean with your self and her and finalize the end by pressing charges. Don't be a fool. Lots of fools around working there asses off for a loser chick. You know the right thing to do, make the call.
     
  7. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    If you wont press charges just pay the $25K and call it a day. If it were me I'd run down to the PD and talk to a detective about the theft your ex has committed. Unless you can prove you arent responsible for the charges then you will be responsible. Then you need to work with your creditors to begin cleaning the mess up and you will need to work with a company to clean up your credit scores as well because odds are your credit will be ruined for the next 7 yrs. If you PM me I can put you in touch with a company that will clean up your credit scores. It really stinks that you are now guilty of these charges until you prove otherwise but thats the way the system works. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  8. 1-ton

    1-ton 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Like Z3PR said: If you do not press charges...you owe $25,000.
     
  9. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

    Dispute the charges. If they're fraudulent, you're not responsible for them whether you press charges or not.

    All you have to do is dispute every charge and tell your bank that issues your card that you do not recognize that charge and you did not authorize it.

    If you do, the chargeback process will get your money back for you, as long as they do not have your signature.
     
  10. 1-ton

    1-ton 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    If somebody fraudulently obtains your credit card, and goes out and charges merchandise on it, the credit card issuing company usually requires a copy of a filed police report, in order to process the dispute. When the police report is filed, I am sure law enforcement will be inquisitive enough about this situation to find out it is someone this guy knows personally. Then a warrant will be issued for this "broad".

    The type of incident where you do not need to file a police report, in order to dispute a charge to a credit card, is when you feel the product or service was inferior, incomplete, or damaged.
     
  11. DBLAZER

    DBLAZER 1/2 ton status

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    If you do not go after her and aggresivly work with the CC companies you WILL regret it. I know it is hard, but you have to look after you.

    Or








    Pay the bills!!
     
  12. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    you have a decision to make you have 2 options here
    option A: you pres charges on her for STEALING your money to pay for her drugs or
    option B: you pay the debt and know that your paying for her drugs
     
  13. ugly_blazer

    ugly_blazer 1/2 ton status

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    How long did it take to reach $25,000? If it is a few months or more, then you may be screwed.
     
  14. K5Jimmy

    K5Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    Seems to me a chat with a Lawyer would be a sound investment...most initial consults are free, and you could come away with a little more insight which could expand your options...

    I'd say at the very least she owes you the car you bought her...like that's gonna happen (unless it's in you name).

    If the CC charges happened over a period of several months ( during which you simply made the payments), you are gonna have one Hell of a time disputing anything.

    Life Lessons are seldom cheap....you will be considerably wiser when all is said and done...you are fixin' to learn some stuff you haven't even realized has happened...

    You are fighting for a piece of your life...you don't have to be a "nice guy" about it since it won't get you anywhere....you are a "victim" Only if you Choose to be...or you can make some proactive choices, and salvage some self respect and possibly some of your money.

    Wimmen....don't matter how good lookin' they are...somebody..somewhere...is sick to death of 'em...

    I feel for ya, son....
     
  15. sickquad

    sickquad 1/2 ton status

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    Well, setup a meeting tonight with my fathers lawyer. This guy is a real bloodsucker too. I really don't know what is going to happen. Really pissed off right now.

    The ironic thing is that the money that was in the account was money I had been saving to buy her a ring. Close to $10,000 was in there. Been saving for over a year.

    It's weird how things change so fast when you have a problem with drugs. Her whole life went to hell in less than two months.

    -Chris
     
  16. justinf

    justinf 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    The type of incident where you do not need to file a police report, in order to dispute a charge to a credit card, is when you feel the product or service was inferior, incomplete, or damaged.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not necessarily, I found an $800 charge on my credit card once that I didn't make, I disputed it with the credit card company, they investigated, and sent me an affidavit saying I had possession of the card at all times and did not make the charge. I had to sign the affidavit so they could move ahead with fraud charges. I didn't file a police report, and the charge was credited back to my account.

    However, in this case, with this much money on the line, I would guess a police report may be required.

    Did she actually have your card, or just the card number? Also did all of the charges show up in one month, or over several months?
     
  17. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Well, setup a meeting tonight with my fathers lawyer. This guy is a real bloodsucker too. I really don't know what is going to happen. Really pissed off right now.

    The ironic thing is that the money that was in the account was money I had been saving to buy her a ring. Close to $10,000 was in there. Been saving for over a year.

    It's weird how things change so fast when you have a problem with drugs. Her whole life went to hell in less than two months.

    -Chris


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I think you are moving in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a while to recover from betrayal. Move ahead and do the right thing without allowing your self to become overwhelmed with bitterness. Also know that by making this right you are actually doing whats best for you and her.
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    Oh and I know its hard to see it now but in the future you will look back and thank God this happened BEFORE you married her.
     
  18. cdh

    cdh Registered Member

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    Did she charge everything on one credit card or multiple cards? If she charged on multiple cards at least you have a shot at a coulpe of cards taking the charges off. You might get stuck with one or two cards that you have to pay.

    Was she affiliated with the cards? Did you sign for her to have a credit card? Was she on your account? If so your F'ed.

    How did she take the money out of your bank account? Was she on the account? If she had your PIN and used your ATM card to take the money, your probably F'ed. The bank will tell you that you should not have shared your PIN.

    Do everything that you can to get out of the credit card charges. An am assuming that the interst on the cards is high, and at 25,000 of principal it is going to take a long time and a lot of money to pay that off. For example at 16% it will take 5 years at $600 a month to pay that off. The total interest charges will be about $11,500!
     
  19. 2Dogs

    2Dogs 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    You are doing the right thing - cheer up. I know this is hard but you should feel good that you stopped it when you did. And who knows, your ex may be forced to clean up because of this. But stay away from that - she will have issues the remainder of her life.
     
  20. sickquad

    sickquad 1/2 ton status

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    For the last month and a half she has been handling my money for me. Credit card bills and check book. This was all before I knew about her problems. I figured we are plannig on getting married, why not? So this all happened in the last two months.

    I feel like I just got kicked in the nuts repeatedly.

    -Chris
     

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