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Commies on the porch

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 4by4bygod, Jan 6, 2006.

  1. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    So I'm eating dinner, watching Dr. phil, when the doorbell rings.. I open the door, and this 20 - something black girl is standing on the porch with a clipboard.. there's also a fat guy out on the front walk, very somber - looking, and he had a clipboard too..

    The girl tells me that she'd like me to sign a petition to show my support for working families everywhere, and If I'd just sign on the dotted line, she'd be on her way..

    ME: What about the working families? How will this petition help them?

    Her: well, sir, we want to show congress that we support working families, and that congress can't get away with what they are doing..

    Me: What politician put you up to this? Who funds you?

    Her: we support working families.

    Me: I know, you said that 3 times already..what polititcians do you support?

    Her: I don't support no politician in bush's congress..

    By this time, the somber ( and rotund) fellow came up behind her, and introduced himself as her supervisor..

    I asked him : " by signing this petition, what exact position am I taking? "

    He said that my signature means I'm basically saying there should be no budget cuts in congress, 'cause the poor folks would get hurt.

    I told him that this congress spends money like drunken sailors, especially on entitlements, and there damn well better be some budget cuts.

    I asked him how long social security can sustain itself when the baby boomers retire and there are less workers to support those who are collecting checks.

    He didn't answer me.. at this point, he got pissed and said that since he couldn't change my mind, they would just leave..

    coward.. See, the home office for noted democrat ( and communist) congressman dennis kucinich is about two blocks from me, so every few months we get bothered by the petition peddlers, all promoting one lefty cause or another.

    They're fun, once you knock 'em off their talking points.

    Tom
     
  2. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    I would have followed them and chatted!
     
  3. mofugly13

    mofugly13 1 ton bucket of rust Premium Member

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    was the chick good lookin'?
     
  4. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    "honey who is it?" "communists dear" "tell them we like freedom" "I already showed them my ass, how much clearer can it be?'"
     
  5. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    No.. I'm reminded of what Fred Sanford once said to Aunt Esther.. " Esther, you are so ugly, you can take your face, put it in some dough, and make gorilla cookies with it."


    Tom
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    That's funny! :haha:
     
  7. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    That's when you need an arsenal, a Hispanic friend and several cases of Bud Light..............................................

    Now here's what you need to do..........................................

    Have said arsenal, let's make it something from either the AR or AK family of worldy combat rifles. Take said arsenal and break 'em down and maybe have one that's ready to rock and roll, minus the little thingies that go BOOM in them. Lay this out on some rags in clear view of the floor, have several items associate with weapons cleaning around, and maybe a couple squirts of SLP into the air to add ambience.

    Take the cases of beer and make it look like there's a good time happening. Crushed empties on the floor, maybe a couple popped open.

    Now here's where your Latin American appearing friend comes into play. He needs to be at the house when these people show up so you may want to look into owning rather than renting so he can be readily available for the performance. Make sure he appears to be about forty years old and has been through a war or two, or maybe some gangland activities down in the barrio.

    Now when you have all of this setup, of course it is well advised to have this display ready to go at all times, answer the door. Start talking to the nice folks. Now your Latin America appearing friend needs to either be drunk, or can play a good drunk. This is his cue, spoken in broken English, to start one of his tirades about how the democrats screwed over Nicaragua and the Contras and make sure he can add those cool Spanish adjectives (which cannot be posted here) everytime he mentions the words democrats/liberals/communists or general sh*thead politicians.

    With such a plan in place, you should no longer worry about such people showing up at your door ever again.....................:D
     
  8. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Come to think of it, I do have hispanic friends who happen to hate democrats... We'll have to do this when the lefties start knocking on doors before the 2006 mid term elections.

    Tom
     
  9. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Sounds like plain old TPT.
     

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