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Constapated

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Loose Nut, Aug 5, 2006.

  1. Loose Nut

    Loose Nut Banned

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    Apparently rocking back and forth, and jumping jacks does not help.

    I think its time to get a ballpoint pen and a towel to bite down on and go to work.
     
  2. bigbluesuburban

    bigbluesuburban 1/2 ton status

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    Go for ride in your truck over some rough terrain. Not will you have fun, but you will shake it all through. Good Luck
     
  3. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    How? By using Vaseline and your own fingers to reach in and clean out crap?
     
  4. 55Willy

    55Willy 3/4 ton status

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    don't you have a taco bell near by? or some sour milk in the fridge?
     
  5. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Two words:

    Fruit salad.. ( and lots of it ) Yer poop will go through you like sherman through atlanta.

    Tom
     
  6. ryan22re

    ryan22re 1/2 ton status

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    Pot of coffee, a whole pack of cigarettes, and a chilli dog from local gas station should do the trick...all conviently located in one place....
     
  7. Loose Nut

    Loose Nut Banned

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    vasaline is for pussy's, i dip my hands in peanut butter and broken glass.
     
  8. 81K5GUY

    81K5GUY 1/2 ton status

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    lord I apologize!
     
  9. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    You're a lot more of a man than I am! :bow: :bow: :bow: :haha:
     
  10. Loose Nut

    Loose Nut Banned

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    its allright, when im done im gonna wish i had a wet wookie to dab my ass with lol
     
  11. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    that is quite possibly the most disturbing statement ever
     
  12. Loose Nut

    Loose Nut Banned

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    you kinda just get in there and poke around at it. its like trying to stab a zuchinni long ways but has the grip of a dirty old man.
     
  13. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    you sir, are a sick, sick man
     
  14. Loose Nut

    Loose Nut Banned

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    yea, i am. I have the farts that are currently clearing the office though. Im liking this.
     
  15. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

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    Get a coat hanger and make yourself a shish-ka-bob :D
     
  16. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    try...

    No,don't even THINK of using that corkscrew!..:haha: --I know--lets try the SHOP VAC!! (make sure its one that works on WET and DRY wastes)..:D


    --I've been there--if you sit a lot ,and don't do much walking,your colon will fill up with mortar like poop thats exteremly difficult to get out!...I've suffered from constipation since I was born practically..found out I had a mild case of Crohn's disease,and am still prone to stomach and intestinal problems..but with proper diet,I can keep the symptoms at bay,usually..

    Seriously--try this..eat a bag of popcorn,with butter--and drink a glass or two of hot water(water or milk is the key,water works better--your constipated because your not hydrated enough--the popcorn swells up when it soaks up the water,and makes the bowels moist,and "move")...or eat the popcorn like cereal, with milk...soon after,you'll get the "urge" again...like all bad things,this too will pass!...its an old Indian remedy that works for me..better than mineral or castor oil,or other laxatives that usually "kick in" at the worst time possible,like when your miles from a rest room..:doah: :crazy:
     
  17. FOR MUD

    FOR MUD 1/2 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    I'm so glad theres no pict on there!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  18. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    I remember seeing an enema in my parents bathroom not too long ago... Shall I overnight it to you? :crazy: :crazy:
     
  19. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Water hose??? :laugh:
     
  20. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    :haha: :haha: drink beer.
     

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