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Cool things about being a guy.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Jan 30, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Cool things about being a guy.
    Very manly indeed.

    1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
    3. Your last name stays put.
    4. The garage is all yours.
    5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    10. Same work .. more pay.
    11. Wrinkles-add character.
    12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    17. The world is your urinal.
    18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
    19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
    20. You can open all your own jars.
    21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
    23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
    24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
    27. No maxi-pads.
    28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
    29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
    32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 24 relatives, on December
    24th, in 24 minutes.
    37. One mood, ALL the damn time.
     
  2. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif oldie but still makes me proud to see it.

    jacob
     
  3. MOABDADC22

    MOABDADC22 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.


    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. schmuck

    schmuck 1/2 ton status

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    damn straight
     
  5. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not in my experience. I call them out on things too. I usually get a stuned look then a grin and I tell them to back my truck out right then.
    -Fairly clean motor, I run 650 highway miles a week and monthly oil changes with Valvoline max life that I normally do myself and know that its pretty clean at each oil change) in the truck and the guy comes in, I see you have 170K+ miles on the truck, we pulled this out of your oil (shows me the grim they pulled of the floor on a note card), you need a full oil flush its $59.99 plus the cost of the oil /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
    I DONT THINK SO! Just do the oil change and I'll be on way.
    -Call in and get a price quoted on a u-joint change (it was -10deg outside) and when I get there the guy says oh its going to be $20 more (from $40 including joint=so $60 total now) we have to press out the caps on this one.....
    /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif What did you think you what going to have to do when I called? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

    -We inspected the (lifetime warrentied) muffler and you need a new cat, cat pipe to muffler, and tail pipe that will be $375, do you want us to do this today? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif WHAT! The tailpipe is less then 2 years old, just two months ago I wire brushing the whole exhaust from y-pipe to tip and hi-temp painted the whole thing and there was nothing wrong. Your cheap lifetime warrenty muffler keeps blowing welds on the backside. Just replace the muffler. SO they torch the old off and weld in the new, so now when the muffler goes out again, I will have to get a new cat pipe and tailpipe because they cut these too short so the new muffler would go in without loosening the rear hanger and slipping the new muffler in /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    I hate taking my truck places. I am planning on buying a pre-bent exhaust kit this summer (unless my buddy larry does it at his shop afterhours).
    I think places anymore think everyone oblivious to there vehicles condition and try sliding in alot of un-needed fixes and then charge like crazy for them. /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif
    It may work on other people but not me! /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  6. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    37. One mood, ALL the damn time.

    [/ QUOTE ]
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  7. jackedjimmy350

    jackedjimmy350 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  8. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    It may work on other people but not me!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This is exactly why I now do ALL my own work... If I don't know what I'm doing I get a manual and learn... Ask Rob about me.... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    The coolest thing about being a male is that we are not females.... Our chemicals all agree with each other. None of this going berzerk one week out of every month. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  10. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.


    [/ QUOTE ]
    Man I am so stuck in the 70's /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  11. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

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    Ahh-yeah, It's good to be a dude! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    Testosterone rules !
     
  12. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.


    [/ QUOTE ] nah i change about every six months. flat top long ass time ago (never again) liberty spikes, bleached, red, blue, green, all spiked all the way down into my sideburns about 2" long, the same about 6" long, mohawk 2-6", and now it's all about 5/8" long and brown again.
     
  13. MEPR

    MEPR 1/2 ton status

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    ah hair i have had the same style for my whole life! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif. And another thing if you dont feel like combing it we use hats. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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