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Cow Government

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Nov 18, 2003.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Posts:
    20,716
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    Location:
    Undisclosed Location
    More Cow Politics

    DEMOCRAT

    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    Barbara Streisand sings at your birthday party.

    REPUBLICAN

    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?

    SOCIALIST

    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

    COMMUNIST

    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows.
    The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support
    a man in a foreign country
    who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows.
    The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
    for the milk, and then pours
    the milk down the drain.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
    surprised when one cow drops
    dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
    downsized and are reducing
    expenses. Your stock goes up.

    FRENCH CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good.

    JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    and produce twenty times the
    milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at
    the top of their class at cow
    school.

    GERMAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
    excellent quality milk, and run a
    hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
    vacation per year.

    ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.

    RUSSIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    You have some vodka.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You have some more vodka.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really
    have.

    TALIBAN CORPORATION

    You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
    parts.
    Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in
    the hospital.

    IRAQIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.
    They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.

    POLISH CORPORATION

    You have two bulls.
    Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

    FLORIDA CORPORATION

    You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black
    one.
    Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people
    can't figure out how to vote
    at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is
    the best-looking cow.

    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

    You have millions of cows.
    Most are illegals.
    Arnold likes the ones with the big tits.
     
  2. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2001
    Posts:
    3,060
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    Location:
    SW Missouri
    I just blew milk out my nose (No pun intended!!!!)
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
    20,073
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    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
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    Location:
    portland oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. pfloydmaster

    pfloydmaster 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Grottoes, Virginia
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  6. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2002
    Posts:
    16,870
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    0
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2001
    Posts:
    6,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. civicstomper

    civicstomper 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2003
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    Location:
    Rochester NY
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gifhaha, a french cow
     
  9. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2001
    Posts:
    3,103
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    Location:
    Richmond, VA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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