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COWBOY POETRY--BUYING A BRA

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    > > You know, I've never been much for shopping
    > > In fact I try to stay away from town
    > > Except when shipping time comes,
    > > I ain't easily found.
    > >
    > > But the day came when I had to go
    > > And I left the kids with ma
    > > But before I left she asked me,
    > > "Would you pick me up a bra?"
    > >
    > > Without thinkin' I said "sure,"
    > > How tough could that job be?
    > > I bent down and kissed her
    > > And said, "I'll be back by three."
    > >
    > > Well, when I done the things I needed
    > > I started to regret
    > > Ever offering to buy that thing,
    > > I was working up a sweat.
    > >
    > > I crossed the street to the ladies shop
    > > With my hat pulled over my eyes,
    > > I wasn't takin' any chances
    > > On bein' recognized.
    > >
    > > I walked right up to the sales clerk
    > > I didn't hem or haw
    > > I told the lady right straight out,
    > > "Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."
    > >
    > > >From behind I heard some snickers
    > > So I turned around to see
    > > At least fifteen women in the store
    > > And they's all gawkin' at me!
    > >
    > > "What kind would you be looking for?"
    > > "Well," I just scratched my head
    > > I'd only seen one kind before
    > > "Thought bras was bras," I said.
    > >
    > > She gives me a disgusted look
    > > "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
    Come with me," I heard her say,
    > > And like a dog, I tagged along.
    > >
    > > She took me down this alley
    > > Where bras was on display
    > > Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
    > > When I seen that lingerie.
    > >
    > > They had all these different styles
    > > That I'd not seen before
    > > I thought that I'd go crazy
    > > 'fore I left that women's store.
    > >
    > > They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
    > > And bras that cross your heart
    > > There was bras that lift and separate,
    > > And that was just the start.
    > >
    > > They had bras that made you feel
    > > Like you weren't wearing one at all
    > > And bras that you can train in
    > > When you start off when you're small.
    > >
    > > Well I finally make my mind up
    > > Picked a black and lacy one
    > > I told the lady,
    > > "Bag it up," And figured I was done.
    > >
    > > But then she asked me for the size.
    > > I didn't hesitate.
    > > I knew them measurements by heart,
    > > "Six and seven eighths."
    > >
    > > "Six and seven eighths, well sir,
    > > That really isn't right."
    > > "Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,
    > > I just measured them last night."
    > >
    > > I thought that she'd go into shock,
    > > Musta took her by surprise
    > > When I told her that my wife's bust
    > > Was the same as my hat size.
    > >
    > > "That's what I use to measure with,
    > > I figured it was fair
    > > But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."
    > > This drew another stare.
    > >
    > > By now a crowd had gathered
    > > And they's all crackin' up
    > > When the lady asked to see my hat,
    > > To measure for the cup.
    > >
    > > When she finally had it figured
    > > I gave the gal her pay
    > > I turned to leave the store,
    > > Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
    > >
    > > My wife heard the whole story
    > > 'fore I ever made it home
    > > She'd talked to fifteen women
    > > Who'd called her on the phone.
    > >
    > > She was still a-laughin'
    > > But by then I didn't care
    > > Now she don't ask and I don't shop
    > > For no more women's underwear.
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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  3. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  4. clubba68

    clubba68 1/2 ton status

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    Too long to read. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
     
  5. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    lazy ass /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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