Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Crazy American Sex Laws

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Jun 2, 2006.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Messages:
    20,093
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    Crazy American Sex Laws



    It's illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.








    ALABAMA


    In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."

    As recently as 1990, Alabama had a law against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    ARIZONA


    Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

    A man can legally beat his wife for pleasure, but not more than once a month...

    According to the Arizona Supreme Court female breasts, are not "private parts" under state law.

    As recently as 1990, Arizona had a law against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Unmarried adults in Arizona who decide to fool around a little are committing a serious felony. Anyone single, man or woman, caught having sex can be sent to the penitentiary for three full years.

    You may not have more than two dildos in a house in Arizona






    ARKANSAS


    In Arkansas, only physicians and other medical practitioners can sell condoms.

    Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.

    Adultery in Arkansas is much cheaper.offenders are fined a mere $20 to $100.






    CALIFORNIA


    In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.

    In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

    Prostitutes in San Francisco are not obliged to make change for bills larger than $50.

    Until the law was repealed in 1975, California husbands and wives could both get a 15-year penitentiary term for engaging in certain sexual practices. They were specifically prohibited from engaging in any oral activities, even in the privacy of their own bedroom.

    Married, yet want to mess around a little on the side? If so, be careful where you decide to play. In California, adultery is punishable by a $1,000 fine and/or one year in prison.






    COLORADO


    In Logan County, Colorado, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she sleeps.

    It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.






    CONNECTICUT


    An old Connecticut law banished to use of condoms and all other contraceptive devices.






    DELAWARE


    Delaware allows the sale of condoms only by doctors and wholesale druggists.






    FLORIDA


    In Florida, it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine.

    As recently as 1990, Florida had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence in Florida

    You may not kiss your wife's breasts in Florida

    When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.






    GEORGIA


    As recently as 1990, Georgia had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Sodomy laws have been repealed.or are ignored.in most states, but not Georgia, where a man was sentenced not long ago to five years in prison for engaging in oral sex. With his wife. With her consent. In their home. His predicament has apparently been a source of considerable amusement to other inmates.

    It is illegal to purchase or possess marital aides (vibrators, dildos, etc.) in Georgia

    The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit in Georgia.






    IDAHO


    If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

    As recently as 1990, Idaho had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Idaho limit condom sales to medical practitioners and licensed pharmacists, but their license to sell the items may not be hung on a wall where it can be seen by customers.






    ILLINOIS


    There is, a law in Illinois that prohibits having a public erection, and nude dancing.

    A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or
    hunting on your wedding day.

    A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.






    INDIANA


    In Indiana, mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a "tendency to habitually kiss other humans."

    Indiana has a law that prohibits male skating instructors from having sexual relations with their female students. This misdeed, called "the seduction of female students" in the ludicrous legislation, is prosecuted as a felony. This statute apparently applies only to male teachers. It seems female skating instructors may have sex with male students.

    Indiana has a law against anyone's enticing, alluring, instigating, or helping a person under twenty-one to masturbate. This activity is known in legal circles as an act of "self pollution."

    It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public in Indiana






    IOWA


    In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.

    In Iowa, kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

    In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted."






    KANSAS


    Anyone in Kansas caught engaging in "the abominable crime of buggery." draws a maximum sentence of six months in jail.






    KENTUCKY


    Kentucky limit condom sales to medical practitioners and licensed pharmacists, but their license to sell the items may not be hung on a wall where it can be seen by customers.






    LOUISIANA


    As recently as 1990, Louisiana had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    MAINE


    Condom sellers must be licensed and the license must always be on public display.






    MARYLAND


    In Halethrope, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.

    As recently as 1990, Maryland had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Buggery in Maryland (Code Sections 553 and 554) brings a one- to ten-year prison term.

    In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.

    It is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." - in Maryland






    MASSACHUSETTS


    As recently as 1990, Massachusetts had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Did you know that in MASSACHUSETTS there is a law saying that at a rodeo it is illegal to have sex with rodeo clown in the presence of horses?

    A woman cannot be on top in sexual activities in Massachusetts

    In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.






    MICHIGAN


    In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

    If you live in Michigan and feel an uncontrollable desire to have a fulfilling physical encounter with someone of the opposite sex, please restrain yourself! Why? Because single guys and gals who are caught in the act in Michigan can be fined as much as $5,000, and they could be sentenced to as many as five years in prison.

    Five years in prison for masturbation? Yes! Michigan law prescribes such a stringent sentence for a man who engages "in acts of gross indecency, either in public or private." This includes mutual masturbation by two men or the simple act of solitary masturbation.

    Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife in Michigan

    No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison in Michigan






    MINNESOTA


    A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

    In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.

    As recently as 1990, Minnesota had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    MISSISSIPPI


    In Mississippi, S & M is against the law. Specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."

    Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison in Mississippi

    Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000 in Mississippi

    It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public in Mississippi

    As recently as 1990, Mississippi had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    MISSOURI


    The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male in Maryville, Missouri






    MONTANA


    In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.

    Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family" in Montana

    It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style in Montana






    NEBRASKA


    Buggery in Nebraska (Revised Statutes 28-919) is never to be treated lightly! So-called buggery, or anal copulation, can bring a whopping twenty years in the penitentiary

    Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest.

    According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

    No one may purchase a package of condoms at a corner drugstore anywhere in Nebraska. Only physicians can sell them while practicing medicine.

    Persons with gonorrhea may not marry in NEBRASKA






    NEVADA


    In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

    It is illegal for any member of the Nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session

    Nevada, with 35 legal bordellos, has no condom problem; the law there requires that condoms be made readily available at each brothel. The use of condoms in Nevada brothels is compulsory.







    NEW HAMPSHIRE


    Know of any Crazy Laws???? Send them in to us






    NEW JERSEY


    Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

    New Jersey law threatens men with a three-year sentence for "mutual masturbation." The law covers anyone "who, in private, is a party to an act of lewdness or sexual indecency with another."






    NEW MEXICO


    During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

    State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet in New Mexico






    NEW YORK


    The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless. New York law dictates that if a man can be somewhere without a shirt, a woman gets the same right. The decision came after arrests of women testing the ordinance on the subways. A transit police spokesman said they would comply with the new rule, but "if they were violating any other rules, like sitting on a subway bench topless smoking a cigarette, then we would take action." Smoking is not allowed in the subways.

    In New York City a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.






    NORTH CAROLINA


    While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled in North Carolina

    If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married in North Carolina

    It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard in North Carolina

    Oral sex is considered a crime against nature in North Carolina

    A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent in North Carolina

    North Carolina has a law on the books against "Peeping Toms," but the legislation is somewhat biased! It's illegal in that state for a man to peep through a window at a woman.yet it's not against the law for a woman to peep into a room occupied by a man. (Nor is it a violation of the law if a man peeps at another man!)

    As recently as 1990, North Carolina had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    NORTH DAKOTA


    Know of any Crazy Laws???? Send them in to us.






    OHIO


    In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

    Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio.a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

    Ohio has a law that prohibits male skating instructors from having sexual relations with their female students. This misdeed, called "the seduction of female students" in the ludicrous legislation, is prosecuted as a felony. This statute apparently applies only to male teachers. It seems female skating instructors may have sex with male students.






    OKLAHOMA


    Clinton, Oklahoma, is apparently a community with unusually high moral standards. The city fathers have banned local men from masturbating while observing a couple making love in the back seat of a parked car in a drive-in theater. Such a peeper can be fined and jailed for "molesting a vehicle."

    An Oklahoma state representative once proposed a bill requiring that a man explain the dangers of pregnancy and obtain a woman's written consent before the two could legally engage in sexual intercourse.

    It is illegal to have sex before you are married in Oklahoma

    As recently as 1990, Oklahoma had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos

    Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have his or her name and picture shown on television.

    Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.






    OREGON


    In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.

    It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex in Oregon






    PENNSYLVANIA


    In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a tollbooth.

    Buggery in Pennsylvania (Statute 4501) is deadly serious as well. It can bring transgressors a $5,000 fine and ten years at hard labor.






    RHODE ISLAND


    Single folks have it relatively easy in Rhode Island. This state still prohibits unmarried people from partaking of bedroom activities under any circumstances. However, if caught, the lovers are both fined $10.

    As recently as 1990, Rhode Island had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    SOUTH CAROLINA


    Branchville, South Carolina, retains a wonderful old piece of loony legalese covering those who "lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed, and cohabit together, in a public or non-public place." The amorous couple can be punished with a $500 fine and as much as a six-month prison term.

    South Carolina's Code of Laws 16-412 includes "the abominable crime of buggery." A $500 fine and five years in prison are the punishment.

    By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

    It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.

    As recently as 1990, South Carolina had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    SOUTH DAKOTA


    Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.

    South Dakota takes a back seat to no one when it comes to retaining interesting old laws. Prostitutes there are still prohibited from plying their trade out of a covered wagon.






    TENNESSEE


    Try to avoid going through Skullbone, Tennessee, if you desire a little sex while driving. The law there bans a woman from "pleasuring a man" while he is sitting behind the wheel of any moving vehicle. Any man stopped and found with the front of his pants undone can be fined a minimum of $50 and serve thirty days in jail.

    Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law in Tennessee

    It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.






    TEXAS


    In the state of Texas it is a misdemeanor if two men engage in oral and or anal sex and is considered sodomy. The same law does not apply to men and women engaging in the same activity with each other.

    In Texas, no one other than a "registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives "on the streets or other public places." No, not even physicians! Anyone who tries to make a few extra bucks doing this will be severely prosecuted for the dire act of "unlawfully practicing medicine.

    Go to Texas before succumbing to your sensual desires. Single adults in Texas who are apprehended while having sex are charged with a misdemeanor and given a $500 fine.

    Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos in Texas

    Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense in Texas






    UTAH


    In the state of Utah, sex with an animal.unless performed for profit.is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

    No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed

    Polygamy - provided only the missionary position has been applied - is only a misdemeanor.

    As recently as 1990, Utah had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    VERMONT


    Know of any Crazy Laws???? Send them in to us.






    VIRGINIA


    In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job- for men only- called a corset inspector.)

    In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.

    Singles in Virginia who get caught spend no time in jail, and the fine is a paltry $20 to $100, according to the court's judgment.

    No one may have sex while riding in the sidecar of a motorcycle in Norfolk, Virginia, where an old ordinance outlaws anyone from doing so while cruising down a city street. Such activity is considered to be a "licentious sexual act."

    If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations in Virginia

    You may not have oral or anal sex in Virginia.

    As recently as 1990, Virginia had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    WASHINGTON


    The only acceptable sexual position in Washington is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

    In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances - including during a wedding night.

    As recently as 1990, Washington had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos






    WEST VIRGINIA


    Any unmarried couple that live together and "lewdly associate" with one another may face up to a year in prison in West Virginia

    Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars in West Virginia






    WISCONSIN


    In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

    Condoms were considered an obscene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist's counter In Wisconsin

    The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife In Wisconsin

    It is illegal to kiss on a train In Wisconsin






    WYOMING


    An ordinance in Wyoming specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.

    Wyoming has a law against anyone's enticing, alluring, instigating, or helping a person under twenty-one to masturbate. This activity is known in legal circles as an act of "self pollution."
     
  2. docgab

    docgab 1/2 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2002
    Messages:
    1,166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Medford, OR
    Nice, that's not too far up the road from me. Good to know I've got the law on my side. lol
     
  3. chopped&bobbed77burb

    chopped&bobbed77burb 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2005
    Messages:
    926
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    milwaukie,oregon
    looks like almost anything goes in Oregon :eek1: . I see fumes is in the clear up in Washington :haha: . nothing about pokin goats :haha: . Kinda like that new beer commercial " man law " you poke it , you own it ! :D
     
  4. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2001
    Messages:
    16,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mesa , Arizona USA
    Did you know that just THIS YEAR they finally made it a felony to have sex with animals in Arizona ............. fumes and bubba won't be spending any tourist money here :D
     
  5. smalltruckbigcid

    smalltruckbigcid 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2004
    Messages:
    3,867
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    NE Wyoming
    Guess a dead fish is good to go:haha:

    Comedian Suzanne Westenhoffer on stage in Portland OR (she's lesbian and proud) "You people in Portland eat to much fish. I hate fish. Thats right a lesbian who doesn't like fish. Take that joke where you will":haha:
    George
     
  6. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2001
    Messages:
    16,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mesa , Arizona USA
    There is a Gwar song called "Fish ****" and on rotten.com is a picture of the act itself :thumb:
     
  7. Citizen Rider

    Citizen Rider 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    May 5, 2005
    Messages:
    1,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Plano, Texas
    I cant beleive i just read all that!

    Its only illegal if you get caught imo...
     
  8. camiswelding

    camiswelding 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    2,546
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Redding, CA
    I had a burglary call in the ghetto.. the suspect went in through a skylight... it was a mortuary...

    The suspect had sex with at least six dead bodies in the caskets.... um .. when a person is dead there arent any muscles to make things contract.. so it wasnt a pretty sight if you know what I mean...

    We created a taskforce of 6 detectives who worked the case fulltime for three months... because a person like that is way beyond sick... we never caught the guy... that we know of.. hopefully hes dead by now

    thats why we have laws about sex with dead people..
     
  9. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
    3,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KC Missouri
    Yeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwww

    In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.


    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  10. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    12,251
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    C-eh-N-eh-D-eh
    where does fuems live again?
     

Share This Page