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Dealing with a break-up....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Emmettology 101, Dec 14, 2006.

  1. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    Man, these things are never easy.... Feels like someone has riped out your heart and beat it to death with a chromo d60 shaft... Theres a empty feeling in your life, pains in your chest, lumps in your throat.... Feelings that you cant believe this is happening to you and thought of how are you going to get by........

    I started out being pissed.. Was hoping I'd stay there since you usually are really sad and then move onto being pissed. But I seemed to be reverting to the sadness. And start trying to figure out what went wrong, what did i do... Start goign over things in my head about the last conversation and how I could've answered thing differently and maybe it was somehting I said or somehow I could've responded with a different comment and things would be fine.

    Ugh..

    I've only been with this girl for a little over 3 months. Sure most are going to say I am nuts and it's not long. But I connected more with this girl in that short amount of time more than any other g/f I've had. We had just about everything in common.. Loved spending time with each other and could really see "us" going far... Granted those three months had a bumpy spot... But we talked and patched everything up. Hell the past 5 days she has contacted me and talked to me much more tha usual.. So I thought things were going great.... Guess i was wrong.... :(
     
  2. stockk5

    stockk5 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    :crazy: yeah man i know that feeling.. happened to me about 2months ago... it gets better over time.. had the same thing.. wasnt with this girl for real long.. like 8months.. had an amazing connection... but w/ stress from school/lack of communication i guess it fell apart.. more to her than me.. but she dumped me. sucked real bad for the first few weeks.. but its better now. we are still pretty good friends too. Just try to apperciate her for what she was then, part of ur life, and life goes on, other girls out there, least that my ideas for now! haha. goodluck, time will fix it, no worries.
     
  3. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    thanks... Ya, she wants to continue to be friends. Hang like we have been, etc... Not sure if I could deal with that right now seeing how I have feelings for her.. She said we could do this and see if it goes somewhere from there. So ten whats the difference if we just stayed together? She "says" she doesn't want to date anyone else. But that was probably just to spare my feelings.

    I know it will get better and have been here before. It just really sucks. And then to add to it I am at work and we're slow. So I am stuck here with my thoughts and I tend to be an overthinker.. Have been trying to keep myself busy on thenet, but I'm starting to run out of thigns to do...
     
  4. rdn2blazer

    rdn2blazer 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you have to make yourself go have some fun, even though you dont feel like it. go wheeling, go out with friends, make yourself go up to new chicks and try to meet new people. that and time is the only thing that heals the hurt. dont spend your time thinking of what you did wrong, or what you said that caused this. maybe learn from it but dont beat yourself up over it. whats done is done.

    your probebly not perfect and I bet she is not either. so its just not ment to be. when you move on to the next hopefully you will be wiser and a bit more mature. good luck.
     
  5. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    Ya, it kind of feels like I am young again and going through one of those HS type break ups. Hell, the last girl I had a relationship with was about 3 years ago. Her and I dated for a year and a half and I broke it off with ehr cause she was cheating. I didn't feel this bad ater that...

    And yes, I am far from perfect... I know I have a few issues i need to deal with.. But I keep them to myself in a new relationship.. I'd love to learn from my mistakes, but you cant if you dont know what they are.. Guess being blindsided doesn't help either. :(
     
  6. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    Its easier to deal with when you realize if it was meant to be , you'd be together today .

    Don't worry about it too much , time will heal you . And when you least expect ti , you will find what you need :thumb:
     
  7. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    So I get a text message from her last night asking if it is ok to text me and say hi. I say yes. We went back and forth bs'n for about an hour....... then at the end of the conversation she texts: "Talk to you tomorrow?"

    Guess I'll just see how this goes... It shows she misses me to be texting so soon... But on the other and, this sems less fair to me. She's getting what she wants and I am only getting to talk to her. And it gives me hope that she'll change her mind.. Not sure how healthy this is for me though...
     
  8. JK5

    JK5 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Hang in there Bro!!!!
    If you need someone to talk to...give me a call.
     
  9. ryan22re

    ryan22re 1/2 ton status

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    Just get over it and go out with somebody else.

    You only dated for three months? Plenty of fish in the sea. Better to have problems now than 10 years from now. At least you can keep all of your stuff.
     
  10. rdn2blazer

    rdn2blazer 1 ton status Premium Member

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    typical chick, they want to date other people but just incase it does not work out they want to know YOUR still hang'in on so they can come running back if they need to. I would completely ignore her text messages. as far as your concerned she does not even exist now.

    other wise when she does find another guy who wants a piece she will drop you and your "friendship" like a hot rock.
    been there done that and its a waste of your time. you probably have enough friends you dont need a chick you want to be with as a friend. thats what guys are for. I know I dont need no woman as a "friend".

    get pissed off instead of pinning over the loss. F her if she does not want to be with you. when that better guy does not come along like she thought she MIGHT come crawling back, but dont count on it. if she does, she does if she does'nt, she does'nt, either way dont give a rats ass whether she does or does'nt. it will make your life alot easier. let her know your in charge of you and your emotions by your actions. dont let her feel like she is. cut her off period.

    let her know by your actions that if she dont want you completely, then she does not get to have your attention when SHE wants it. hope this prompts you to actually take this advice and do something to improve your situation for yourself.
     
  11. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Worst thing you could do is to hold up your life, waiting for her to change.. she souns like she met someone else. let her go, you won't die without her. Also, if she can't or won't explain why the break up happened, you're better off without her.. go find someone as emotionally mature as you are, and you'll be a lot better off.

    Tom
     
  12. stan1688

    stan1688 1/2 ton status

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    As said before, it sounds like shes just keeping you around incase she cant get with someone else. Also as was said before, ignore her texts, or a least say your busy and cant talk. When she sees that youre not gonna stick around waiting on her, shell quite trying to talk to you. Sure what you had with her was great, but if you were meant to be with her, you would be with her. The good Lord has better plans for you. Time goes on and you will find the person you were meant to be with. If all else fails, you could pray about it. It always helps me. Its her loss and your chance to experience more. God bless.
     
  13. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    Mike... are you in my head? cuz that's EXACTLY what i've got going on. spent the last 2 days in a 15x50 bay, all by myself with a 60,000# motorhome hoisted over my head sandblasting the chassis. LOTS of time to think.
     
  14. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    that's pretty much the way i'm looking at my situation. fortunately, or unfortunately for me, she's still close (my sister's best friend) so when/if something happens, and she's single again, i'm gonna jump. it was my fault for our breakup, my own thoughts and insecurities. she was the best i could ask for and then some, and i screwed it up.
     
  15. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    My situation supposedly is because she just doesn't want to date anyone right now. When we had our talk friday she sad she didn't want to loose me. And her exact words were: "After my last realtionship, I told myself I wasn't goign to date anyone. That was until I met you!" But come wednesday she says she wanted to tell me about not wanting to date anyone and just be friends, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

    Tonight has been tough. Not sure why.. But things are starting to hit me that we're not together.

    Still haven't decided on what to do..
     
  16. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    emmet, if she didnt want to date anyone, why did she date you in the first place? and then for 3 months on top of that? somethin's up, IF you want to keep it going, then talk to her, tell her how you feel and that you think it is a mistake for you two to break up now..
     
  17. Emmettology 101

    Emmettology 101 3/4 ton status

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    Little update...

    Saturday we text'd some more. She said she misses me, cares alot about me, but just needs some time. We went back and forth all day(even while she was out with her friends)... Text'd sunday and yesterday too....

    I'm not waiting around for her. Have been keeping busy and such.. Even asked about a irl at the place where I get my hair cut. But yet I dont want to loose her. So I am still going to keep in contact with her for a little while longer.. Hopefully she'll come around soon.
     
  18. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Curb...

    Rene
     
  19. cegusman

    cegusman 3/4 ton status

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    x2:doah:
     
  20. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    I've already said it by PM...but it needs to be here too.

    There are no grey areas when it comes to dating. You either are dating or you're not. This crap she is pulling now is wrong...she is trying to break up with you by degrees. Like death by a thousand cuts. She starts to feel guilt so she texts you, thinking she is making it easier on you.

    As far as I'm concerned the only break up where being friends afterwards is OK is a divorce where kids are involved.

    Rene
     

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