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depression?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MTChevy, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. MTChevy

    MTChevy 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    alright guys, this is a serious thread, please try to refrain from making smartass comments. ---- It seems every day i come home depressed. then i think what makes me feel depressed. Well all the time i think about friends. Everyone sees me as the quiet guy and theres a reason for that. I am constantly worrying about how my friends see me. this is a negative because no one really knows me. It can also lead to big fights too if anyone hasnt found that out yet.

    But when i do get involved i always get the feeling no one enjoys my company so i turn into a loner all over again. and the depression kicks in. any way I approach a friend it seems to put off a negative vibe. Im sure its just me but i get really depressed at times. I think what gets me to this point is that i can see a group of friends all talking and having a great time but as soon as the group separates and you get with just 1 person there is always talk about how annoying it is when this happens or i dont like it when whatever happens.

    but it seemed they were friends a while back. I feel i am that person that gets talked about behind there back. I really get depressed over this crap and i just dont know what to do about it. What the hell is my problem? thanks for taking the time to read this
     
  2. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    I don't have any useful advice... But if it makes you feel better, I'm the "quiet" guy who's pretty lame to hang out with one on one, so I know how ya feel :crazy:

    I always just assume that if someone doesn't want to hang out with me they won't, and if they want me to leave they can tell me. If it turns out they're just hanging out with you to be nice, then **** em, they can forget I was ever a part of their shallow existance :D

    Is it just a winter thing? It seems like folks in Wyoming get all weird and secluded come winter :rolleyes:
     
  3. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Its a whole brain electron neuron thing even a little off can screw you up, with me it was a short fuse. My wife and I both goto the same Dr and one day I was there and she asked me about my temper, now shes got both of us on something. Ask you doctor about Effexor, or Cymbalta (this is the one the wife hated me on and made me switch from when she heard Dr.Drew telling someone it was perscribed for mild depression and also for pre-mature...you know) :haha:
     
  4. MattK

    MattK 1/2 ton status

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    i dont wanna sound corny, but did something happen? it could seem small enough for you to overlook i suppose. it sounds like SOMEthing changed SOMEwhere.

    have you talked seriously about it with any of your friends? they probably aren't the most comfortable about talking with you about it, but if you can be mature and do your best to leave emotions out of it you might do everyone some good.
     
  5. Seventy4Blazer

    Seventy4Blazer 3/4 ton status

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    im serious when i say this. get laid more offten and sit around the house lees. **** what others think.
    Grant
     
  6. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    You've gone through some pretty big changes in the last few months, Cole, and maybe it's taking it's toll. The biggest obstacle that a guy will run into when facing a problem is actually admitting there's a problem. You've taken the first step, so now you have to take the next step and work at solving the issue at hand.

    First of all, are you getting enough sleep? Secondly, are you able to do things you enjoy? Lastly, and most importantly, are you at school because you really want to be, or because it was expected of you?

    In this case, your depression is probably linked to a few different things. You're away from home for the first time, distant from all that is familiar, and in a stressful environment to boot. You're probably not getting the sleep your body needs, and you may not be eating as well as you should. All this might be contributing to your present state of mind.

    In the end, only you know what needs to be done to help you feel better. I suggest you listen closely to your gut and do what it takes to improve the situation. Life is too short to be sad.
     
  7. MTChevy

    MTChevy 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    First of all, are you getting enough sleep? Secondly, are you able to do things you enjoy? Lastly, and most importantly, are you at school because you really want to be, or because it was expected of you?

    I go to bed at 10 or before pretty much every nite and wake up at 5:30 every morning. Lately I havnt been getting the best of sleep due to this cold. Most of the time I am able to do what i enjoy. depends on who im with. I am at school because i want to be somebody. I want to be able to support myself and my family. I didnt want to be a low-life working at some minimum pay store all my life
     
  8. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    first and foremost... **** what everybody else thinks. if they cant accept you for who you are, you dont need them as friends. once you get comfortable with yourself, then the people around you will get comfortable. if they notice you're feeling awkward, they will too. i was fortunate enough to figure this out when i was 17, i've got friends my age who still dont get it.

    be yourself, not someone or something you're not. this is another thing that i've had to deal with. my 3 best friends my junior and senior years were classified as preps, and obviously, that i am not. they tried and tried to get me to "convert", but i was comfortable with who i was, so i wouldnt budge. regardless, they accepted that, and to this day i still consider 2 of them my best friends. the other wont wont talk to any of the rest of us, thanks to his girlfriend who's got him brainwashed.

    again, with the talking behind the back thing, dont worry about it so much. if they are, it will come out eventually, and you'll know who your friends are. in the meantime, loosen up a bit, have a good time, and meet some people.
     
  9. MNorby

    MNorby 3/4 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Hey man, I felt the same way. My folks moved from here and I stayed. Kinda felt deserted and still I get that feeling sometimes. I spend alot of time at the shop working on my toys but I try to balance that with time hanging out, otherwise it is very easy to get burned out, on one thing or the other. I grew up the odd duck, I was homeschooled so it felt like I didn't belong in alot of groups but becuase of it I think it made me a better person. I spent more time tinking on truck and farm stuff and gaining lots of life skills which totally prepared me for when I had to make it on my own, with only a months notice before it was either find a place to live or move to Fairview, MT. I made it and am doing well. Sure there are times when things are tight but overall its not bad one bit. I have a friend that needs to get that way to pick up a truck yet and still haven't made plans for a time yet but when we do be prepared to not go down till the sun comes up man.
     
  10. Citizen Rider

    Citizen Rider 1/2 ton status

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    i hit depression hard a couple years ago. And it comes back from time to time. It got so bad i was on the verge of suicide. Most of this was from family issues along with school.

    Ive never been the popular one, i have a few friends and we stick together. Most of them ive known for years. Ive lost a few good friends lately that just lost contact. And it depresses me that it got to that. I try to keep in contact with who i care about and hang out when we can. I deffinatly like to hold on to the friends that actually care. Or so it seems sometimes.

    Go to the doctor, get effexor, which worked wonders on me, and do some things that get your mind off and clear. Sex is good at this. Along with tinkering on trucks. RC cars and small hobbies are also very good at taking your mind off of your suroundings.

    If you dont try to change the depression now, it will only hurt more as time goes by and nothing makes you happy.
     
  11. big dan

    big dan 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    My first year at school was pretty depressing. I went because I wanted to be somebody and because it was expected of me. I didnt know what I wanted to do and didnt really have any friends at school. I was constantly wanting to go back home to see my friends and other people that I cared about and do the things I wanted to do. Since then Ive found a few things at school that are interesting to me other then satisfying my mom and a good job after school. Ive also made a few friends that I care about and things have gotten a lot better. Real friends wont talk about you when your gone, at least not in a negative manner. Real friends will like to hang out with you whether or not your quiet. I agree with beater, be yourself and you'll find out who your real friends are. You also have real friends here. I know that I have relied on the guys here for some of my problems and there were many helpful people. Hang in there and have some fun.
     
  12. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    RC cars are a BAD idea. very addictive, and very expensive once you're addicted... you always wanna go faster, jump farther, jump longer, flex more, whatever. at one point i had over $3K in my RC fleet, sold most of it off when i got my DL to fund my first "real" truck. havent been back since. i just now packed up the remains of the parts and cars that i have left over, 3 18 gallon storage totes that i put in the attic of my garage. i'm afraid to touch them again, or this time it will get REAL expensive.
     
  13. CustomChevy

    CustomChevy 1/2 ton status

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    The only usefull advice I can offer is, forget what anyone else thinks about you.


    Chances are you're wrong on what they think anyway.


    Please #1 before you care what the rest of those losers think.
     
  14. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of you.. also, I know this is counter - intuitive as to how the rest of the world operates, but don't spend so much time worrying about how you think you appear to other people. in other words, stop going through life looking at the tops of your shoes..

    Introspective people create their own hell, and while there is such a thing as clinical depression, ( which you may or may not have, I don't know) much of what we think is depression is really self created misery..

    what happens is we begin to look for situations where we can feel bad about ourselves, blame other people for making us feel that way, then we are depressed because no one likes us.. I know, because I lived that way until I changed. oh yeah, the payoff for acting that way is the pity party.. either the ones we give ourselves, or the ones thrown by friends. pity feels good, otherwise, people wouldn't indulge in it.

    feeling rejected by people leads you to reject them first, and before you know it, people really are talking about you behind your back, and it's your fault. the only thing you can control is you get to decide if you feel rejected or not.

    before you jump on the better living through chemistry train, try changing what you focus on.. work on improving yourself, meet new people, and do different things.. and for gods sake, change how you think about yourself.. focus on your strengths, and before too long, people will be following you, and want to be your friend. Only this time, you'll be working from a position of strength, and not as an emotional beggar.

    took me years to learn this.. had I known about this in junior high, I might not have made alcohol and rage my favorite demons at age 13..

    if you wanna talk, pm away..

    Tom
     
  15. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    been there--still there sometimes...depression sucks..

    Life has a way of becoming a rut--and it often makes you feel moody or sad,especially when certain events occour,like a death in the family,or watching a loved one slowly slip further into poor health,etc..sometimes even the most trivial things can set off a real bad mood,when it comes to dealing with other people, it can really get overwhelming..

    I find dealing with people the hardest thing,especially in a retail work environment..I dont like those who act "better" than me,or talk down to me like I'm inferior--then ask me for help,or to do THEIR job,then take credit for MY efforts..making me look stupid in front of the boss,etc..many people here are brownosing backstabbers who pretend to be your friend,until they think they can take advantage of you,especially if your meek, or good natured..

    I've been battling depression ,anxiety for most of my life--and it hasn't been easy..but its crucial to KEEP battling,and not let it overtake you..do what you like,ignore others who ridicule your ideas and activities,and surround yourself with the things you enjoy..spoil yourself if nessasary,no one else will!..keep dark thoughts at bay,and try to look for the silver lining in those clouds..I try hard to do this,but still end up feeling hopeless much of the time..but have to keep on..

    Friends can either help you,or break you..I too have felt like the "misfit" in a crowd of so called friends quite often..when a bunch of us are together,I'm ignored for the most part,cant get a word in edgewise,and have been the butt of many wisecracks,etc..but if I'm the only one there,the other person seems to treat me good,like they feel kind of guilty for the way I was treated by the "gang" when all were in a group situation..

    Now I care about ME,not what they might think of me,or say behind my back..I know they have a bigger problem than I do,if they have to treat me that way to make themselves feel superior..I have only 1 or 2 friends I'd call if I were in a real bind,that MIGHT come assist me..the rest are just "fair weather friends"..I dont even know their phone numbers...

    I have avoided dating for a long time..women tend to be the root of many problems with depression,or make them worse--so I avoid getting into any serious relationships..
    I dont need a breakup to make me more miserable than I already am..some claim a "good woman" would help me---but I dont see many that want a depressed boyfriend,or would care enough to help...so I go it alone..

    I'd avoid any anti-depressants..I've had some real bad adverse reactions to them..almost drove me over the edge once,--I was thinking as I was driving one day,what if I just drive right into that bridge abutment,who'd really give a damm??--no one really cares about me,they just want to use me"....luckily I called my doctor,and he said stop taking them immediately..

    I then went into a real bad slump,like I was suffering withdrawl--took me months to get back to somewhere near normal emotionally..Drug companies are making millions off anti-depressant drugs--but dont tell you they CAN make you worse instead of better--many people get suicidal after taking them!..dont fall victim to their greed for profits,doctors get free trips to bermuda if they prescribe enough pills from these drug companies..your health isn't their only priority unfortunately..profits ARE!..

    I'd use St.John's Wart as an herbal alternative instead..I also drink to releive my depression sometimes--but have to be careful not to go too far and get myself addicted..despite what doctors claim,for me a few drinks helps me a lot--if nothing else it makes me able to sleep at least a few hours,and forget my problems for awhile..but its not a cure all,and I'm sure it may hurt others !..it's very easy to get dependent on alcohol or drugs when your depressed..use with caution is my advice,if you do at all..better off without them in most cases..

    After getting myself in deep financial ruin, and being forced to live with my eldery mother,(who makes me 10 times worse with her bitching and resentment towards me),and having to be here for her pretty much all the time,having no job I think is about the worst thing--no money,no social interaction with others in the "real" world,takes a huge toll on you,all you do is dwell on negative things constantly..hard to be cheerfull when things look bleak..the "holidays" are a tough time for me,and many others who suffer from depression..

    You dont realize it right away,it takes a long time before you come to realize your wasting valuable time--time you'll never get back,and cant change the things that brought you to this place...but with help and a good attitude,you can win out over depression..I'm hoping my situation improves soon,and I'll keep you in my prayers too..

    Whatever you do--dont give up on yourself..I remind myself of this daily--if not for a few others in this world who believe in me,I dont think I could do it..there are angels among us..seek them out..I find a lot of strength in music,and have made some good friends by going to concerts,joining a few fan clubs,and getting to meet the artists...find something you enjoy,and do it to your hearts content..and dont listen to others..it has to come from inside YOU,to be truly happy..:crazy:
     
  16. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    I'd say Tom nailed that bit and you should listen to what was said above. You have low self esteem Banana and your looking for others to fill that emotional gap.

    No amount of praise from someone else will fix that. Better learn to like yourself for who you are, flaws and all. If your not satisfied with a part of yourself then do what it takes to improve in that area. You might think it's bunk but any type of exercise will improve your immediate mood if you need a quick fix.

    We are also closing in on December, depression is fairly commonplace this time of year.

    I usually quip right about now but I will respect your wishes today. :D
     

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