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Diet anyone?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ratzila, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. ratzila

    ratzila 1/2 ton status

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    A friend told me this story and I almost fell to the floor laughing my azz off.


    I have a Labrador retriever.
    I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
    On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again.
    Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
    but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
    with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
    and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
    and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
    and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
    particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
    Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
    I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
    I thought the black guy was going to have to have help as he laughingly staggered to the door.
     
  2. bigbluesuburban

    bigbluesuburban 1/2 ton status

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    HOLY SHIZIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I about fell out of my chair.

    That is awesome!!!!!!!!!!
     
  3. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :thinking: :D
    I can't wait to buy dog food again.

    John
     
  4. NoReGrEtS

    NoReGrEtS 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha:
    I almost cryed.

    that was funny
     
  5. theperfectgarage

    theperfectgarage 1/2 ton status

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    Quick, how do I get Pepsi off of my keyboard? :haha: :haha:
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    By not typing with it!

    :doah:
     
  7. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  8. dremu

    dremu Officious Thread Derailer Premium Member

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    I remember once being at the local non-chain burger place ... they also have the equivalent of a Fish Filet. This is your basic burger stand, greasy, run by a crazy Chinese guy in a stained apron ... not a high-falutin' sort of place.

    Lady in front of me wants to know what KIND of fish is in the fish sandwich. Like it's gonna be fricken salmon or something at this joint?? The rest of us are gettin' pissy now, cuz we want our cheeseburgers, ya know?

    Finally, after scratching his head, Johnny the Chinese guy says

    Suffice it to say, the lady left the joint red-faced while the rest of us in line laughed at her.

    -- A
     

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