Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Divorce/Child Custody questions......

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 90blzr, Jun 24, 2004.

  1. 90blzr

    90blzr 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SO CAL
    My cousin is going through a screwed up divorce right now. I am sure someone has been through the same thing so maybe you can answer a few questions.
    She is telling a bunch of lies and making up stories, etc.
    Him or the kids (3 boys) havent seen there mom/wife since about 4 days before mothers day. Him and the kids are staying at his sisters right now (same town).
    Anyways, The wife is telling the courts she needs aid, she has the kids, etc. SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE KIDS!
    my cousing has been taking care of them, they are living with him! EVERY DAY for since before mothers day! She has tried to make ZERO contact. THey dont even know where she is staying right now. She is using the address where they all lived before all of this stuff, but she has not been staying there.
    Okay, big questions. He got served a restraining order this morning at 8am while taking the kids to school. The restraining order says he cant be within so many feet of her (his wife), the kids or the house.
    HOW does this happen?!!??! So do the police come and take the kids? Does he have to 'turn them in'? What is he supposed to do?
    Like I said, they have not seen or hear from here in over a month! she knows where they are staying, knows the number, knows the address, etc!


    Thanks.
     
  2. kennyw

    kennyw N9PHW Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2002
    Posts:
    13,224
    Likes Received:
    94
    Location:
    Stevens Pass Highway, WA
    Where I come from you are entitled to attend the court hearing (and would have been notified) about the restraining order /forums/images/graemlins/screwy.gif
     
  3. fjleiter

    fjleiter 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Posts:
    278
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palmyra, NY
    He needs to see a lawyer ASAP, get temporary custody of the kids and file a restraining order against HER. As long as he has custody of the kids (legal custody), her restraining order against you (pertaining to the kids, not her and the house) is a wash. If he has custody, he has the right to say where and with who the kids gan go etc...

    Once again, HE NEEDS A LAWYER NOW!!!

    We have a women across the street from us, been arrested numerous times for stalking, harassment, child endagerment etc... Got into a vicious custody fight with her ex-husband. Took him years to get custody and only because she got caught in a lie by the court(was trying to get custody and told court she made 70k a year so she was more financially sound than her ex. Oops, she only filed taxes for 30k. Same amount she used to nail her ex for more alimony and child support. Judge turned her over to IRS and gave the ex custody)She's also filed bankruptcy 2x, one personal and one for her business... Get this... She runs a DAYCARE!!! Out of her house at that! (and sad thing is, it's only an 800 sq. foot house, smallest on the street. Has 6 people living in it and takes care of 16 daycare kids!)
     
  4. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    i would say one he needs to get a GOOD lawyer. and 2 he needs to contact the court who issued the restraining order and tell them what is going on with the kids and how he is taking care of them not her. she may also be planing on saying he kidnapped the kids so i would have him get a lawyer fast
     
  5. 90blzr

    90blzr 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SO CAL
    problem is he doesnt have any $$$ right now for a lawyer....she pretty much drained him lately. He lost his job cause he took off so much trying to take care of all this.
    She is filed for child support, financial aid, etc....ALL saying that SHE has the kids. He went into the 'self help office' and they explained to him that she has the kids, etc. He said..huh? I've had the kids the whole time. I have a feeling she is gonna screw her self pretty bad...but thats not important right now, he just needs to find out what he needs to do about keeping the kids!

    Thanks for the info! I believe he is going to the courthouse now to get the papers to 'fight' or counter the restraining order.

    But what happens in the meantime? Can she just come get the kids? Or can a cop show up with her and take the kids?

    The worst part of all of this is the kids are stuck in the middle...the oldest one being 8, and the youngest 5.
     
  6. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    [ QUOTE ]
    But what happens in the meantime? Can she just come get the kids? Or can a cop show up with her and take the kids?

    [/ QUOTE ]
    yes she can. he needs to go and talk to a judge and show that he has the kids and she does not but is saying she does. he needs to prove now that she is screwing the system and getting money for the kids even though she don't have them. he also needs to file for custody NOW. he also needs to prove that she don't have the kids and he does
     
  7. 90blzr

    90blzr 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SO CAL
    how does he do that though? just go to the courthouse? Can he put himself on calendar today? Will a judge see him right away?
    This is all new, so not sure exactly what to do.
     
  8. 1-ton

    1-ton 1/2 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2004
    Posts:
    2,884
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    There are usually only two instances where a judge will issue a restraining order (1) his wife produced police reports that showed your cousin was arrested for domestic violence, (2) your cousin was summoned more than one time to a hearing on the restraining order, and he did not show up. Restraining orders are not just something that show-up out of the blue for no reason at all.
     
  9. 90blzr

    90blzr 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SO CAL
    this has been a messed up relationship for about a year now. Police were called several times (by both of them), but no charges were ever pressed on anything.
    On her papers she checked off every box and told them everything possible that would make him look like an a-hole. When we were reading it, we were both like 'damn if I was reading this about someone else, I'd be thinking what a deadbeat!'

    BUT, everything is true, but not the way she is making it sound. Everything she said he has done, she has done also. Neither one of them are perfect by a long shot, but she is making him out to look like he is a deadbeat. He has never hit her. She says, he's used drugs (over the last 10 years), he's yelled at her, yelled at the kids, bla...bla...bla....everything said, she has done the same!
    the best part is....since the kids have been staying with him, ALL of the grades have come up, there homework has been done...the teachers say they kids seem happier, etc. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif That has to say something!
     
  10. arq

    arq 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2001
    Posts:
    2,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Imperial Valley/Maricopa
    write it all down on a calander or something. my brother went through the same, when the B!!ch found out that my mom was writing everything down(days she disapeared/license plates/phone numbers/etc) the calender disapeared somehow.

    get a lawyer, it'll be cheaper in the long run...

    also, get school records, grades, cleanliness, personality changes, activities, etc. if they start to go down or change for the bad. record it and present it to the judge or case worker.

    lastly and very important do not loose your cool no matter what, even if the B!!ch burns his car/house/nuts. a very understanding father makes a lot of difference.
     
  11. camiswelding

    camiswelding 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Posts:
    2,545
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Redding, CA
    Mike.. sorry to hear whats happening...
    TRO's
    In Kalifornia anyone can walk into a courthouse, see the clerk, fill out an application for a TEMPORARY restraining order... they can put whatever they want in it...I cant recall one NOT being granted... when the other party is served there is a future court date where the whole thing is reviewed by a family law judge (in the case you describe). At that court hearing, sort of like a trial but less formal, the "wife" will have to provide testimony and evidence of her allegations... you cousin can also do likewise...
    We used to get these everyday to serve, to enforce, and to make arrests.... many times the "bitch" would try to get the husband to violate the restraining order just so she could have some "I told you so" info for the judge at the hearing.
    At the hearing the judge can then:
    make the order permanent
    modify the order
    dismiss the request

    Your cousin needs legal advice, have him go to a low cost /no cost clinic. There are many attornies out there that are required to provide low cost service for those who cant pay. Do a web search for male custody disputes and you can comeup with the national mens associations that support mens rights in custody disputes.
    Restraining orders are helpful in the real world but they are also a great way for someone to [darn] over somebody else.
    THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS WHAT THE TRUTH IS... any judge will find that out.... sounds like a battle for him
    cam
     
  12. 90blzr

    90blzr 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2001
    Posts:
    3,027
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SO CAL
    Well, I got a call from him to get my ass over there NOW cause the cops, his wife and here friend were at the front gate. She got the kids. He wanted to go out and talk and not let here have them, but I made him stay away. I told him, its done right now, and he HAS to cooperate to up his chances. Cooperation looks good to the judge. Finally agreed and watched out the window as his kids were driven off. he is going to the courthouse this morning to fill out a form to counter here 'custody'.

    Thats exactly what she did, went and filed and wrote a bunch of b.s. to get money, etc. All along going off the fact she had the kids (she even signed saying she had them in her possession, which she did NOT).

    She is the one who will be screwed in the end...I hope. All her papers say FULL custody...she wants NO visitation. The papers he filled out, he says he wants joint, and that he does not want to keep them from the mother.

    She tries to push his buttons and she knows how too.

    I hope this all works out!
     

Share This Page