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Do ya'll not like me or are my stories no good?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BigOrange90Jimmy, Apr 10, 2003.

  1. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    Or do I have to be creative or just plain retarded to get my junk read? I can do either, it's just a matter of preference. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I guess I could talk about these no-talent ass-clown drivers we have around here. Here we go!

    Driving to the local 1200-students-enrolled-but-only-enough-parking-spaces-for-500-vehicle community college, I come across a person of the african american persuasion driving a smoking and cancer riddled Honda Civic.

    I had just pulled onto the highway in front of a Ford and an 18 wheeler. Given, I had time to speed up in my blazing 20 second 0-60 time and pull into the driveway without affecting their momentum.

    It's raining really hard and my K-Mart special wipers are having a little trouble getting the job done. Anyways, I get to the drive and pull in. The F*rd and the Peterbilt (complete with fully loaded trailer of 50' logs in tow) are a safe enough distance behind me that I can just pull in without me having to mar my BFG M/T's too bad.

    As I was nearing the driveway, I notice the beaner/beater combo edging towards the highway. I pay them no mind and continue my water puddle dodging in hopes that I don't make like a kid on a hydro slide and end up in the ditch like I did a few years back.

    No sooner than I pulled in I hear 100 raw horsepower of worn out import rag passing through what could have possibly been the oldest glasspack on the face of the earth. This crazy fool pulled out in front of the Ford and the 18 wheeler. The trucks were probably not any more than 100 yards behind me when I pulled in, and I was running 55 mph to keep the same pace as them and them not run over me.

    I look in the rearview to see a Ford owner attempting drastic measures by swerving around the beer can. I stop in hopes that the 18 wheeler cremates the idiot. The 18 wheeler does everything in his power to get his 80K pound truck down to the crawl that the massive Honda has managed to produce. The jake brake is on, the gears are being thrown, and the trailer tires are locked and doing nothing. In the smooth action of years of experience, the 18 wheeler drops it another gear, releases the brake, kills the jake, and let's every last ounce of Cat diesel torque roar through the straight piped stacks, all while emptying what's left of his air through the horns.

    Had I known the guy in the Civic had a death wish like that, I probably would have pulled in front of him and blocked him from pulling out. The oncoming lane was clear and I imagine the other drivers would have appreciated it.

    Ok, that's my amazing story for the day. Sorry it was so long. /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif
     
  2. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    [ QUOTE ]
    Or do I have to be creative or just plain retarded to get my junk read? I can do either, it's just a matter of preference. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I guess I could talk about these no-talent ass-clown drivers we have around here. Here we go!

    Driving to the local 1200-students-enrolled-but-only-enough-parking-spaces-for-500-vehicle community college, I come across a person of the african american persuasion driving a smoking and cancer riddled Honda Civic.

    I had just pulled onto the highway in front of a Ford and an 18 wheeler. Given, I had time to speed up in my blazing 20 second 0-60 time and pull into the driveway without affecting their momentum.

    It's raining really hard and my K-Mart special wipers are having a little trouble getting the job done. Anyways, I get to the drive and pull in. The F*rd and the Peterbilt (complete with fully loaded trailer of 50' logs in tow) are a safe enough distance behind me that I can just pull in without me having to mar my BFG M/T's too bad.

    As I was nearing the driveway, I notice the beaner/beater combo edging towards the highway. I pay them no mind and continue my water puddle dodging in hopes that I don't make like a kid on a hydro slide and end up in the ditch like I did a few years back.

    No sooner than I pulled in I hear 100 raw horsepower of worn out import rag passing through what could have possibly been the oldest glasspack on the face of the earth. This crazy fool pulled out in front of the Ford and the 18 wheeler. The trucks were probably not any more than 100 yards behind me when I pulled in, and I was running 55 mph to keep the same pace as them and them not run over me.

    I look in the rearview to see a Ford owner attempting drastic measures by swerving around the beer can. I stop in hopes that the 18 wheeler cremates the idiot. The 18 wheeler does everything in his power to get his 80K pound truck down to the crawl that the massive Honda has managed to produce. The jake brake is on, the gears are being thrown, and the trailer tires are locked and doing nothing. In the smooth action of years of experience, the 18 wheeler drops it another gear, releases the brake, kills the jake, and let's every last ounce of Cat diesel torque roar through the straight piped stacks, all while emptying what's left of his air through the horns.

    Had I known the guy in the Civic had a death wish like that, I probably would have pulled in front of him and blocked him from pulling out. The oncoming lane was clear and I imagine the other drivers would have appreciated it.

    Ok, that's my amazing story for the day. Sorry it was so long. /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif Maybe, just maybe they're too long /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    so is that a "no I don't like you," or is it a "you're a dumb bastard with a loose tongue"? /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    Hey... you're not alone. I just made a long post myself... kind of doubt it will get read. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

    So, all that happened and no one got hit by anything?

    Some people are luckier than they should be when it comes to pulling stupid stunts like that. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
     
  5. MOABDADC22

    MOABDADC22 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    I have to hand it to you........You certainly have a knack for writing. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif

    Mountainexplorer, I read your post......and even responded.
     
  6. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    Sounds like ya forced that post. You have to let the force flow through you young Jedi. Don't force it.
     
  7. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    [ QUOTE ]
    Sounds like ya forced that post. You have to let the force flow through you young Jedi. Don't force it.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Ya, eat more fiber like Bubba, the flow will go and no forcing /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    No i didnt say I dont like you, just a loose tounge bastard /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif but seriously, I have actually never read anything you have posted so i cant honestly answer either way! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  8. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    I can't take as much fiber as others. It upsets my delicate caffeine/nicotine balance that I strive to keep steady. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Bubba, ya, I did force it.

    I'll post it regardless of if anyone reads it or not. I can usually talk about a topic if I know anything about it.

    I'm in that kind of situation now where I don't know anything about the topic. My best friend is going to fire fighter's training and every time I see him, that's all he talks about. I'm at the breaking point of going upside his cranium. I just can't handle incessant ramblings on something I don't care about, much less something I never want to do.
     
  9. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    [ QUOTE ]
    I can't take as much fiber as others. It upsets my delicate caffeine/nicotine balance that I strive to keep steady.

    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif sounds like my breakfast, lunch, and dinner! I should quit, I smoke like a freighttrain /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif
     
  10. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    What?
     
  11. BigOrange90Jimmy

    BigOrange90Jimmy 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    [ QUOTE ]
    Terminally Confused

    [/ QUOTE ]

    so it's just not a clever title? /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif just kidding with you. i don't know why i posted it either. i guess it was a last ditch effort at boredom retention.
     
  12. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    naw, I was just trying to be funny.

    Ya know how someone will stand there and explain something very complicated for a long time? When people do this to me, I like to turn and say "What? I missed that." I was going for the same effect here, but it doesn't work out quite the same in print....
     
  13. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Re: Do ya\'ll not like me or are my stories no good?

    [ QUOTE ]
    so it's just not a clever title?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Oh, and you are correct, there's more to it than the title...
     

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