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Do you know how to shower?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big94gmc, Jun 18, 2006.

  1. big94gmc

    big94gmc 1/2 ton status

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    How To Shower Like a Woman:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave arm pits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

    Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

    Dry off forearms and butt only.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.
     
  2. big94gmc

    big94gmc 1/2 ton status

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    I laughed at this so hard!! It's so damn true....who here hasn't blown their nose in their hands and let the water rinse it off?!? LoL:haha:
     
  3. roadhawg

    roadhawg 1/2 ton status

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    Also take a mental note that they always smell different in the shower!
    :haha:
     
  4. broc944

    broc944 1/2 ton status

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    This is so true, that is what makes it so funny.
     
  5. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    They forgot the best part. Pressed ham and fruit salad up against the glass when your wife comes into the bathroom for something...
     
  6. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Read the paper nekkid on the John before entering.
     
  7. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    Always funny, but let me think, I Remember seeing this before:D

    John
     
  8. wicked87_k5

    wicked87_k5 1/2 ton status

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    Every one of them is true, that list is funny as hell.:haha:
     
  9. smalltruckbigcid

    smalltruckbigcid 1/2 ton status

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    Possibly the best list for this stuff though
    George
     
  10. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Oh man, that is still funny.
     
  11. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Oh my God! I can't believe I'm reading this again.
     
  12. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Sh!t! The letter "O" has been duplicated! :doah: :haha:
     
  13. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    The "double o" is Canadian for "repoost"
     
  14. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Kind of what I was thinking earlier, too, but had to let someone else quote that.
     
  15. joez

    joez 1/2 ton status

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    :haha::haha:

    Its funny because its true.
     
  16. tiger9297

    tiger9297 1/2 ton status

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    some stuff is so funny its worth reposting. like the thread about different kinds of poo. I was laughing so hard when I read that I couldn't breathe. Its been probably six months or so now. that was the funniest one ever i think.
     

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