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Employer's Lingo (Necessary if looking for a new job)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 88Silverado, Aug 7, 2003.

  1. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Quartz Hill, So. Cal
    Employer\'s Lingo (Necessary if looking for a new job)

    "COMPETITIVE SALARY"
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
    We have no time to train you.

    "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
    We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
    You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
    Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    "DUTIES WILL VARY"
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
    We have no quality control.

    "CAREER-MINDED"
    Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

    "APPLY IN PERSON"
    If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

    "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
    We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
    You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
    You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
    You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

    "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
    Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: Employer\'s Lingo (Necessary if looking for a new job)

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  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    Re: Employer\'s Lingo (Necessary if looking for a new job)

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