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Ever fallen for a married woman???

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by supersize75k5, Jul 3, 2005.

  1. supersize75k5

    supersize75k5 OrganDonorRacing.com

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    I wont get into the details of this, but I am really in a bad spot.


    short story version,

    I was taken out for my 21st birthday, I finally got talked into dancing and I got brave and asked these 2 girls to dance..one of them looked like the type I always like and go for.

    With in an hour I had the feelings that I have for her now, and in that first hour she told me she was married. We ended up all going to denneys to sober up before driving home, and she asked me to call her to make sure she got home.

    and I did call to make sure she got home, we talked for just a minute, then I was wide awake with her on my mind.

    that next day I lost my phone and the her number as well...I was very relieved and kind of happy that I couldn't talk to her or contact her. The next day I bought a new phone...and she called :(

    for the past 3 weeks we have been talking, we went dancing the next friday and had an incredable time..we have had lunch a few times, and text and talk all day. She also has a son, he is 2.5 years old, and also the reason why she married her husband just 3 months ago. She is very unhappy with him, not in love, and he drinks scotch like its water.


    all of this makes me feel like a horable person for even allowing any feelings to develop in the first place. the attraction I have with her is not just physical, its much..much more then that.

    we have an amazing relationship, but on a small level and more like a friendship, she is married and thats a boundry I am not willing to cross, or be the person she crosses it with.

    she is very unhappy with him, but also doesnt want her child to suffer, I did meet the guy and he knows about me, she has been honest and he knows her and I talk, meet up and have danced. Of caurse he is not favoring it, but sadly it also does not have a effect on him at all like it should.

    where I stand is in a bad spot, if she does leave him it should be because she is unhappy and she is not inlove with him,

    but I dont think anything should happen between us anytime soon if they do seperate, she needs to get her situation figured out, then move on with her heart.

    I dont know, I am a freakin iddiot :( :doah:

    I feel like a bad person because of this, I feel guilty and wrong, and I feel for her husband. On the other side I have these amazing one of a kind feeling for her, not the lusting that every 21 year old has, but real amazing feelings.

    start the flaming.. :(
     
  2. az-k5

    az-k5 1/2 ton status

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    Back the **** out. Husbandry 101 failed her, and where's dady 102 is not a class you want to take. Damaged goods, damaged goods.
     
  3. spearchucker

    spearchucker 1/2 ton status

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    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: You know she's married yet you still go out on dates with her. Don't be suprised if you get a visit from him someday.
    AND CHECK YOUR PMs !!! :angry1:


    .
     
  4. 4GUNZ4X4Z

    4GUNZ4X4Z 1/2 ton status

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    My wife was married when we met. Hmm been with her nearly half my life since.
     
  5. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    You can do as you like but my spouses have both known one thing, the game you are playing...I DON"T PLAY". She was warned long ago that if I ever found out she cheated on me that she had better warn the guy cause he would have a big target on his back. Wife #1 must not have believed me ...too bad for him :eek1:

    Watch your back
     
  6. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Forget her phone number, and change yours. I wouldn't trust either the husband, OR this poor victim of circumstance you're currently smitten over.

    She says hubby drinks too much.. she met you in a bar, while out trolling with another chick.. two things come to mind.. she has stupid friends that will encourage her to party rather than deal with her life, and I'll be willing to be she met her hubby the same way she met you, ( in a bar) ,had too much to drink, and now she's got a kid to deal with. see a pattern?

    You're only in a bad spot because you're putting yourself there. You are involved in what's called an emotional affair, and it will turn physical if it's kept up. At some point, she'll either give you, or you'll give yourself permission to take things further, you'll somehow justify it, and who knows where that'll lead.

    And there's no honor in the fact he knows about you. sneaking around or not, you don't have a legal / moral right to be close to her, and the consequences could be costly.

    Tom
     
  7. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Trouble!!!
     
  8. mojo-jojo

    mojo-jojo 1/2 ton status

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    Sooner or later you're gonna get a visit from hubby. Break it off now, let her figure out what she's doing with out any input from you. If she leaves him any time soon You're getting blamed in his mind, whether you had anything to do with it or not. I repeat you're gonna get a visit.
     
  9. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    Untill further notice, your man card has been suspended. :(
     
  10. Eric M.

    Eric M. 1/2 ton status

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    Is this one of your Moms friends when she took you dancing on your birthday?

    Out of all the pictures you've posted of cute, unmarried , girls, you end up here? Go back to the model with the tatoo on her back and the 20" wheels on her ride.

    I fooled with a married woman years ago. Hubby was a cop. She finally divorced years after we were together. We still talk from time to time. I now know what a nut he was and how close I came to some serious trouble. He drank a lot too.

    What ever happened to the blonde and brunette combo you took pictures of in your truck? Hell, either of them would be better than this mess your getting into.

    I think I'm going to start saving all your "girl problem" posts and write a book ... maybe a mini series! FOX would bite!

    Good luck and watch out for hubby if you keep going.


    Eric M.
     
  11. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    You have too follow your heart no matter what anyone says. You know what you're getting yourself into, you have too decide if it's worth it or not. You need too tell ol'girl what's up. Let her know how you feel about everything.
     
  12. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    If she would leave "him" for you, why wouldn't she leave you for another?
    "Trust" is the basis of a good relationship, no base, no....................
     
  13. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    This is not a good situation to be in. If you really want to pursue it, tell her to call you when she is legally free, not before. Until then, jump waaaay back and cease contact with her. Big ? is are you ready to be a daddy????
     
  14. ryoken

    ryoken Puppy Fabricator Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    we have a winner....
     
  15. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Walk away. There's no real reason you need to complicate both your lives like this. You aren't going to save her from anything that she won't try to find someone else to save her from.

    Think about the formula for a minute;
    She has a kid with a guy and they get married.
    At some point in her relationship with this guy, she loved/liked him enough to hop in the sack and procreate (I'm sure accidentally).
    This guy was still acceptable enough to get married to, and go through all the talk about sickness and health and so forth.
    Now, however, the fun parts of the relationship are over, and he reacts by drinking (maybe for this reason or others in life). She reacts by going fishing.

    You may end up in the same position as her husband after a while. Fun parts of the relationship over, tedious parts just tedious. Maybe even father of a kid, not ready to be a husband and dad but trying anyway, wife done with you and ready to move one.


    I garauntee if you walk away from the situation now, in 1 month, you'll be fine with it.

    Regardless of the husband's reaction to you, you are the intruder/3rd element to a 2 element situation.

    If you tell her you're walking away, be prepared to feel like a jerk for ruining her shot at happiness.
    If you don't walk away, be prepared for a seriously complicated relationship that could be disastrous for you in not too much time.



    Also, you might wanna tell her to study the effects of divorce on older children. If she's only been married 3 months, she'd do the kid a favor by getting the marriage annulled right now. It will cause the kid serious mental issues and screw up his future relationships if he spends his life watching mommy and daddy go through motions of a fake relationship. She's doing the kid more mental harm by staying with the father just for the kids' sake.
     
  16. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I was just chatting with my wife about this...

    She said "There's ALWAYS something wrong with the husband."

    You gotta wonder if you have the true story about her husband. If all your info is from her or her friends, you may be seeing some correctable faults in the guy that she's magnifying 1000x.
    He may think you're her science tutor for some extra college courses she's taking, but she's told you he knows all about your conversations, etc. And she may be doing this to cover her butt or with genuine good intent of not hurting anyone.


    Also,
    Your conscience is telling you something...


    This is good, but,

    That might be a worse line to be crossing. It kinda sounds like you're dating her already, and when feelings are nourished like that, they get harder and harder to control.


    Whatever you do, good luck with it, hopefully you can reach a good place without too many people getting hurt.
     
  17. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Somebody needs a whuppin.

    Your having a fling and it's exciting, invigorating. You just go out and have a good old time. There's always the thought of sex way back in your brain, mix that with dancing and common interest, oh boy. Dreams of a perfect relationship, love, and all the things that could be.

    What's going to happen when it becomes a full blown relationship and you both have to assume those responsibilities, including living together, and a kid? All that excitement is going right down the toilet. You don't know squat about this girl besides what she's told you. You've never lived with her for any length of time. Hell, you haven't even met her other personalities yet. How about rent, utilities, school expenses, food, car payments, workload, yada-yada. Everything that comes with a relationship that isn't fun, exciting, and kills your wood faster than a lumberjack on meth.

    I understand what's happening because your young and naive. It might piss you off but it's true. You do not have the faintest idea what your getting into. Keep pushing it though and your going to find out quick.

    Unless you have a strong will and good moral core your ****ed. That's what your going to need at this point to escape the mess you've already made. She's just as responsible or "irresponsible" for starting this quasi-affair. You are having an affair by the way, sex or no. Your ****ing with another guy's wife Shawn, get a grip.

    If you have any honor or common sense at all you'll break it off.
     
  18. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    Shawn, it's Michelle, I was looking over Pauls shoulder,
    1st of all, Just because she has a kid with the dude is no reason to get married. The vows say for better or for worse. If she truley loved herself and her son she would not put her or her son thru a loveless relationship. The kid will eventually get it and grow to hate mom.
    2nd, Like others have said on the board, if she is willing to "cheat" on her husband with you, who is she willing to "cheat" with on you. NO TRUST.
    3rd, Remember what happened with TJ and his ready made family... Hello Roomie. :wink1:
    4th, I say get rid of the baggage and then you will have time to come fix the truck in MY BACK YARD:D

    So I guess what I am trying to say... Step away from the married "CHILD"
    It is a NO win situation!!!



    WIFEY383
     
  19. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    with the most of these leave her alone. If you find her a year from now single with no problems then it may be ok. But then once a problem person may always be that way see a year from now.
     
  20. roadhawg

    roadhawg 1/2 ton status

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    I had a friend that got involved with a married woman, shame because he was the guy that always got any girl he wanted. He died in a house fire about two years ago. Did i mention her husband was the city fire inspector? There was an investigation into it and it was ruled accidental. I would be very careful if i were in your shoes. GOOD LUCK!
     

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