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Ever wonder why?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Dec 10, 2003.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    ...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    ...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

    ...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

    ...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

    ...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

    ...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

    ...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

    ...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

    ...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

    ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

    ...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

    ...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    ...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    ...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

    On a bag of Fritos: .. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

    On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating" (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (and...I'm taking this because???.....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:

    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    so very true /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. jackedjimmy350

    jackedjimmy350 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?


    [/ QUOTE ]

    It would be too heavy to fly....
     
  5. joez

    joez 1/2 ton status

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    this just shows how dumb people are, they need instructions and warnings for everything.
     
  6. chebywanna

    chebywanna 1/2 ton status

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    this one was in petersons i believe "do not step in front of a moving vechicle".
     
  7. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Cleveland Ohio
    /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. 99firehawk

    99firehawk 1/2 ton status

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    What about the dude who bought a winibago, went to a football game tailgated, went to the game, left the game, got on the freeway, set the cruise and got up to make a pot of coffe /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif obviously it left the freeway and rolled many times and he sued and won millions and a new winnibago and the winnabago manual now says "cruisecontrol is only for mantaining a set speed, drivr must remanin atentave"
     
  9. MEPR

    MEPR 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif, oh its too much /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    What about the dude who bought a winibago, went to a football game tailgated, went to the game, left the game, got on the freeway, set the cruise and got up to make a pot of coffe /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif obviously it left the freeway and rolled many times and he sued and won millions and a new winnibago and the winnabago manual now says "cruisecontrol is only for mantaining a set speed, drivr must remanin atentave"

    [/ QUOTE ]

    welcome to the united socialist states of amerika /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif


    great thread, lmfao /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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